Cptsd- feeling undeserving of love

[Itime]

I'm in love with a former infantry Marine. He is unable to be in a relationship so we are just fwb. But true friends.

Anyway nearly 2 years later he finally admitted to me that he feels his soul is damned to hell for what he did in Iraq. A long emotional intimate discussion followed and he confessed he feels losing the love of his life (ex wife) because he needed to pay for his sins and is why he can't have love now.

I respect his religious beliefs, but told him mine were different and he'd never convince me he deserved hell.

I wish he could see himself objectively without his CPTSD. I know I can't save him, all I can do is be here for him as much as he allows. I've noticed he pulls away for days after we've been so intimate. It's hard for me. But I love him. And if that's what he needs, I'm going to give it to him.

His darkness, is a huge part of why I love him so much. He is so strong. Such a good man.

 

[Adipef]

HI, can I ask what kind of responses you are looking for?

 

[Itime]

I was just sort of venting. Maybe just words of encouragement.

 

[Vacijoz]

You've got my sympathy. This is a heartbreaker. I don't think anyone can come back from war undamaged, but his burden is compounded. I'm hoping he's in therapy, but I wonder if it might help him to speak to a chaplain or priest or whatever religious leader he identifies with...

 

[Honamid]

I was thinking the same. A chaplain or a priest.