GrumpyCat
Confident
Hello everyone,
I have been diagnosed with CPTSD from sexual abuse and multiple, ongoing threats to my life as a child. I had four different abusers growing up, one of whom (and the first) was a family member.
I didn't know I had PTSD until my mom died four years back and I began to short circuit and completely crashed and burned out of my job and life in general. That was when I was diagnosed. I Isolated for almost two years, couldn't leave the house or talk to people on the phone or deal with anything. A year ago, just as I started to begin to overcome this my wife apparently couldn't take it anymore and had an affair (with a known, convicted child molester as it turns out, couldn't have been more a perfect storm for me...) and booted me out of her life. I have drifted from one relatives house to another and have struggled to get work and become part of society again.
I am struggling to keep my head above water. Also trying to keep myself together for the sake of my teen daughter. Specific struggles I'm hoping to have help with or just get ideas on how to cope with; anger/bitterness towards my soon to be ex-wife and suicidal ideation that just hovers in the back of my mind. I am not in danger (I think) of actually doing it but I don't want to have the intrusive thoughts anymore. Finally, my daughter is the only thing keeping me going at this point. I want to have hope again and see value in life for my own sake.
I have had EMDR therapy but had to quit, no money. No other therapy. I know I need talk therapy.
I have been diagnosed with CPTSD from sexual abuse and multiple, ongoing threats to my life as a child. I had four different abusers growing up, one of whom (and the first) was a family member.
I didn't know I had PTSD until my mom died four years back and I began to short circuit and completely crashed and burned out of my job and life in general. That was when I was diagnosed. I Isolated for almost two years, couldn't leave the house or talk to people on the phone or deal with anything. A year ago, just as I started to begin to overcome this my wife apparently couldn't take it anymore and had an affair (with a known, convicted child molester as it turns out, couldn't have been more a perfect storm for me...) and booted me out of her life. I have drifted from one relatives house to another and have struggled to get work and become part of society again.
I am struggling to keep my head above water. Also trying to keep myself together for the sake of my teen daughter. Specific struggles I'm hoping to have help with or just get ideas on how to cope with; anger/bitterness towards my soon to be ex-wife and suicidal ideation that just hovers in the back of my mind. I am not in danger (I think) of actually doing it but I don't want to have the intrusive thoughts anymore. Finally, my daughter is the only thing keeping me going at this point. I want to have hope again and see value in life for my own sake.
I have had EMDR therapy but had to quit, no money. No other therapy. I know I need talk therapy.