Sufferer CPTSD via Childhood Trauma, Domestic Violence, Son’s Addiction, Physical Illness, & Chronic Pain.

[Idela64]

Hello, I’m new here first time posting. I’m thankful for finding this site after struggling with cptsd for many years. My life has been affected by layers of trauma, starting with fathers abuse, to marriages with abusive husbands, adult sons with repeated addictions to the loss of my family of origin and physical illness and chronic pain. Started reading about the body mind connection and I finally see what’s going on. After fleeing from last marriage , literally feel I would of died if I stayed. So at 57 years old I’m trying to learn how to heal, of course the pandemic has not helped. I’m starting all over with a broken body and hoping to find my way.

 

[Survivor3]

Hi @Idela64, welcome to the site ☺.

 

[intothelight]

@Idela64 Welcome and I hope you find this site helpful as you start over. A lot of us started here with life and ourselves at a pretty low point and over time the healing came. As you read, take what you find beneficial and see what does and doesn't work for you. Wishing you the best here.

 

[Fractured C.B.]

Hello, I’m new here first time posting. I’m thankful for finding this site after struggling with cptsd for many years. My life has been affected by layers of trauma, starting with fathers abuse, to marriages with abusive husbands, adult sons with repeated addictions to the loss of my family of origin and physical illness and chronic pain. Started reading about the body mind connection and I finally see what’s going on. After fleeing from last marriage , literally feel I would of died if I stayed. So at 57 years old I’m trying to learn how to heal, of course the pandemic has not helped. I’m starting all over with a broken body and hoping to find my way.

Hello Idela - I appreciate your sharing, ive been struggling with CPTSD for all of my adult life due to severe childhood trauma and abuse afflicted upon my by both my parents and siblings., i am now 63 1/2 years old.. The trauma literally wrecked my emotional / relational life. As a result i am a high functioning CPTSD trauma survivor. I could tell you endless stories of my miseries of internal sufferings, suicidal ideations and living in fear of those closest to me, ( my wife ). I cannot trust her with my heart and vulnerabilities, in 22 years of marriage she has never shown me empathy nor sought to understand my trauma and pain. regardless of how many times i've shared with her my trauma history and how its impacted my emotional being. She gets it cognitively but on a emotional level where it matters most , it flies over her head. Long story short, unbeknownst to me i married a narcissist and only within the last year have i come to understand how detrimental she has been to my emotional health and recovery, her focus in our relationship has always been about me pleasing her, meeting her every emotional need, her controlling every aspect of our martial relationship and rarely if every taking ownership for anything that went wrong in our relationship. In fact she uses my trauma history against me to justify her position that the problem was and is still all me which has given her an excuse to always deflect and say im the problem because i know i have trauma issues.. Very toxic and harmful on an emotional level, yet by God's Grace im still here and working on my recovery BY MY SELF ! Sorry for sharing soo much, my point is YOU have to help your self, find a good Trauma Informed Therapist and start the process of doing the work of self recovery.. Distance yourself from those who fail to support and understand your journey towards recovery. I'm still married to my narc wife but i now know how to protect myself from her and coexist... I highly recommend you getting the book - Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder by Pete Walker, he is a top (PREMIER ) expert in this field he's also a Trauma Survivor and I guarantee you the book will help you tremendously as you start your journey to recovery.

 

[katz]

Hello, I’m new here first time posting. I’m thankful for finding this site after struggling with cptsd for many years. My life has been affected by layers of trauma, starting with fathers abuse, to marriages with abusive husbands, adult sons with repeated addictions to the loss of my family of origin and physical illness and chronic pain. Started reading about the body mind connection and I finally see what’s going on. After fleeing from last marriage , literally feel I would of died if I stayed. So at 57 years old I’m trying to learn how to heal, of course the pandemic has not helped. I’m starting all over with a broken body and hoping to find my way.

I'm so sorry you're hurting. I, also have many layers of pain from my past. I hope you find hope and support here. Welcome.

 

[honeybaeboosugardoll]

Hello, I’m new here first time posting. I’m thankful for finding this site after struggling with cptsd for many years. My life has been affected by layers of trauma, starting with fathers abuse, to marriages with abusive husbands, adult sons with repeated addictions to the loss of my family of origin and physical illness and chronic pain. Started reading about the body mind connection and I finally see what’s going on. After fleeing from last marriage , literally feel I would of died if I stayed. So at 57 years old I’m trying to learn how to heal, of course the pandemic has not helped. I’m starting all over with a broken body and hoping to find my way.

OH MY GOD you are telling my story! I am 56 and seeking a support circle. First day on here. Can we support each other? Z

 

[joeylittle]

Welcome to the site, @Idela64 - glad you've found us.

I am 56 and seeking a support circle. First day on here. Can we support each other? Z

A gentle reminder that it's best to support other members on the forum, rather than sharing personal contact information. Thanks.

 

[honeybaeboosugardoll]

I am sooo confused by this site. My head is just trying to stay alive today and I cannot navigate it.

 

[Sideways]

@honeybaeboosugardoll - if you have any questions about how any of the forum's functions work, please use Contact Us.

 

[Rose White]

@Idela64 welcome. I was also abused by my dad, married to an asshat, and have sons with addictions. It’s a rough road and the support here has helped me significantly. If you haven’t heard of Parents of Addicted Loved Ones I do recommend checking them out for how to take care of yourself.

 

[icantdoitalone]

Hello Idela - I appreciate your sharing, ive been struggling with CPTSD for all of my adult life due to severe childhood trauma and abuse afflicted upon my by both my parents and siblings., i am now 63 1/2 years old.. The trauma literally wrecked my emotional / relational life. As a result i am a high functioning CPTSD trauma survivor. I could tell you endless stories of my miseries of internal sufferings, suicidal ideations and living in fear of those closest to me, ( my wife ). I cannot trust her with my heart and vulnerabilities, in 22 years of marriage she has never shown me empathy nor sought to understand my trauma and pain. regardless of how many times i've shared with her my trauma history and how its impacted my emotional being. She gets it cognitively but on a emotional level where it matters most , it flies over her head. Long story short, unbeknownst to me i married a narcissist and only within the last year have i come to understand how detrimental she has been to my emotional health and recovery, her focus in our relationship has always been about me pleasing her, meeting her every emotional need, her controlling every aspect of our martial relationship and rarely if every taking ownership for anything that went wrong in our relationship. In fact she uses my trauma history against me to justify her position that the problem was and is still all me which has given her an excuse to always deflect and say im the problem because i know i have trauma issues.. Very toxic and harmful on an emotional level, yet by God's Grace im still here and working on my recovery BY MY SELF ! Sorry for sharing soo much, my point is YOU have to help your self, find a good Trauma Informed Therapist and start the process of doing the work of self recovery.. Distance yourself from those who fail to support and understand your journey towards recovery. I'm still married to my narc wife but i now know how to protect myself from her and coexist... I highly recommend you getting the book - Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder by Pete Walker, he is a top (PREMIER ) expert in this field he's also a Trauma Survivor and I guarantee you the book will help you tremendously as you start your journey to recovery.

GREAT BOOK and great place to start.