Crazy Train Takes Over And You Think Your Past Is No Big Deal?

[Deleted member 20978]

Hi. I don't know you or your mother, but I related 100% to your description on this thread. I'm stalling writing about my own mother today, as her recent (1 year+) dementia is forcing a change in the dynamic where I had largely avoided her for years. It is also causing her underlying narcissism to be on full display for *everyone*, including the staff at her new assisted living home, where they seem to already be projecting resentment at me for how difficult she is being. Sorry -- I need to write this elsewhere. But anyway with as little I know about your mother, I'd agree with people saying you're smart to set the boundaries and get away. Regardless of how "normal" her behavior may or may not have been, if she's making you crazy she's making you crazy. You setting clear boundaries is not the unreasonable person. Though I also relate to how tricky it can be to set that ultimate leave-me-the-hell-alone boundary with a parent.

 

[Deleted member 20978]

Just journalled my maybe not dissimilar experience I'm having with my mom, in case you feel like reading. I don't know that it adds any useful wisdom on the subject, other than mothers can be crazy.

 

[candor]

I use to demonize my mom and think of her as a monster. I put an ocean and continents between us.
Forty years later, we skype and have really nice talks. Put us in the same room and I still cry my eyes out. Sometimes its just a me or them choice and I choose my piece of mind and don't ask why. I am happier.
I find blame has no place in my life except to ask what I might have done better.