DID Creating another "part"

[trying2movefwd]

I am scared now. Maybe I shouldn't be here at all. Im a mess and psycho. Im sorry. Im really sorry.

 

[Ellabella44]

no you are ok. nothing to be sorry for, you are reaching out.

Your most self destructive part is in pain and taking the end it all approach.

Been there , so find what appeals to her. If shes such a bad*ss rebel, I'd dare her to do the most bad*ss thing possible which is deciding to live. If shes worthless, she isnt because she is part of your childrens mother. And I dont think she would want your kids to feel like she does.

She can help create a better life for those kids by existing through the pain. not easy, but then nothing truly worth an effort is.

have patience. ALL of YOU is needed to raise those kids.

 

[pixel]

@trying2movefwd you are not crazy or psycho!

You're experiencing dissociation in all it's glory.

I'm going to tell you what i think you need to do, and we can discuss what it means later.

Don't go out tonight, you don't need any extra stimulus.
TV=fine. Music=sure. Phone: silent.
Communication with yourself is crucial right now.

You need to tune in to Mother.
Listen to her gentle, loving and calm tone. Hear her wise words. She has got your best interests at heart. She loves you and she understands what's happening. She is intuitive and knows what you need to do right now.
You may cry and that's okay. She will fill you with warmth and love and acceptance. She will soothe you and rest with you until you sleep.

Don't let your teenager have any input right now. You may want to thank her for her opinion, but firmly tell her you are only listening to Mother right now. Then ignore Teenager. We can help her later.

Your Mother part wants to embrace you, she senses your pain. Let her take it from you.

Listen to her right now.


pixel

 

[BlueOrange]

Wow so I am like having a hard time wrapping my head around it all. It seems so confusing. . . And right now I just want to :cry: I have to go. Why do I suddenly feel like cutting!

I had a feeling that if I allowed my pain and difficulty (me, the invincible @BlueOrange who always has something wise to say!) that this might have the same effect on you as this kind of thing has on me. A sudden and overwhelming "OMG my distress is legitimate." What I forgot is that the next bit of the story tends to be "Hi. I'm your distress. Now that you've acknowledged that I'm legitimate, I have a backlog of complaints that I'd like you to address. For your convenience they are mixed in with a ton of toxic mental sewage, and wrapped in barbed wire; thereby helping you to fully comprehend just how horrible it all is."

I hope you're OK. I had a very nice, secure, relaxing day that happened to feature a couple of hours of intense crying. Also many hours of mind-numbing fun, and a few moments of sheer joy.

 

[BlueOrange]

@trying2movefwd , there's a really important thing that I admire about you - that I envy. You find words for your pain, and you talk about your own feelings. I need to project them onto the world and interpret how they bounce back in order to perceive them most of the time. You seem to perceive them directly. From my perspective, that displays a strength that I don't feel confident about having in myself.

 

[pixel]

Agreed.

That strength gives you a big advantage towards your healing.
Embrace it!

:tup:

 

[trying2movefwd]

It took s while to get there. They just feel overwhelming at times.

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

NO, you're not crazy.

This is dissociation. It can get confusing at times. You will figure this all out in your own good time. Seriously - been there, done that!

Are you able to connect with the Mother now? She might bring you comfort.

Ben

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

I'm not sure how I missed being tagged in @pixel cool kid group, but I did. I hope that, now that a week or more has gone by, things are a little easier for you. I'm not sure how to respond. I'm in the very early stages of mapping my system and figuring out what the )&&$£%# is happening with my inner world, and I'm not sure that I have any insights at all.

What I do know is that you aren't crazy. In fact, I think that it is amazing and incredibly helpful that you know you have a Mother part that is helpful to you. It sounds like learning to call her up on cue could be really helpful in moments like these.

Breathe, you are awesome and fine.

 

[pixel]

Its not a cool kid group! :wacky: i was really worried about @trying2movefwd, i didn't have time to give her the attention she needed :sorry:so i tagged some peeps who i thought could help and share their unique insights :geek:

we are all cool kids here!

 

[BlueOrange]

I'm not sure how I missed being tagged in @pixel cool kid group, but I did.

I really shouldn't have called it that. More likely, the reason I'd been tagged was because I'd discussed similar things with @pixel a couple of hours earlier, and so I would have come to mind easily.

 

[Angel inside me]

Holy Cow! I am not crazy! There are amazing people out there who feel like I do. I just wanted you all to know that by all your sharing you have blown my mind. I am not the only one out there. I feel the need to hug all of you!!