My apologies
@Deanna's Gap for any misunderstanding, my understanding is that on the Interent that ALL CAPITALS is yelling.
My best intentions were meant. I was not intentionally yelling at you, but I accept that is how you experienced it. The reason I bolded the below text is to show you, and other readers, that it is
my major point.
A crisis line is not the place to push your religion, your 12 Step program, (unless it is a crisis line for a particular 12 step program) your ideologies, your points of view, or, most dangerous of all, what worked for you in your OWN healing progress. Anyone who is doing that should have the plug pulled on them immediately. People who push what worked for them in their healing progress can be the most destructive of all. This is because, if you don't do recovery in the same way that they want you to, then you are inadvertainly "challenging" the strength of the recovery of what they did, [in their own recovery]. This means they feel entitled in attacking you for "not doing it right" because if it worked for them, it should work for you. Thus if you did it right it would work for you, so obviously you don't really want to get well, or recover or improve. You are a "difficult" or "treatment" resistant client.
expressed as by
Comes like a total shock everytime ppl in health care are incompetent and put the blame on the patient.
and
I sometimes think that help lines/crisis lines are filled with people just looking for a pay check and reading from a page in front of them.
No
screaming or yelling was in any way meant or intended. But an urgency for understanding is definitely there.
I was highlighting a very important point, about volunteers and professional
without the correct indepth training can be very dangerous because out of that poorly trained space comes a whole galaxy of dysfunction, projection, retraumatisation, victim blaming, exploitation, culturally inappropriate "therapy", serious microaggressions, inappropriate boundaries, unprofessional sharing, pathologization, dismissal, invalidation, which is not evidence based and research based professional and appropriate training. "
Supporters/Volunteers/Professionals" who are not up on the latest research and theories may unknowingly inflict a range of damage to various client populations. I have seen it cost people their lives. It almost cost me my own life, and have seriously impaired my ability to have any type of life.
and as the opening poster comments:
But when I’m really on the edge, damn, I mean let’s be real. PTSD is a mental illness, and if I’m calling them, I can barely can keep my head in 2017... I don’t get why, “how about taking a big deep breath with me and telling me what you see around you...” would be so harmful.
And I get they might do this with a repeated texter, but this was the first time I ever tried them out.
and my previous illustrates why I bolded my most important point
I was just saying that it is not appropriate for volunteers, and paid people to give away what they know, when what they know is total BS from the person in crisis point of view i.e. the rubbish that was said to the opening poster
Some poor quality help is not better than no assistance at all was my point. And I highlighted that by bolding because the people who get to a certain point in their therapy, and then for whatever reason they can go no further, then who decide to become "therapists' often unknowingly push "their clients" into do the healing path that they themselves have been unable to complete. Competently supervised volunteer/professionals who are challenged not to dump or act their own personal issues/stuff out on their clients are what is required in my humble opinon. This is life or death stuff - there is no room for
incompetency or giving out their "
best" when it is clearly incompetent. Someone's
best or
what they know, at a low level, has no place on a crisis line, it is
incredibly irresponsible, dangerous, harmful and destructive from my point of view.
Crisis lines are not for the needs people who are "volunteering and/or being paid" to speak to people in crisis. The crisis line is for the person in crisis, other wise it is a waste of time and resources, and in this case the crisis line that
@Justmehere rang is a waste of time and resources, and I see this a lot. Incompetently trained people causing damage to those in crisis or who have suffered trauma. Invalidating someone's experience is not helpful for useful, and generally can make someone feel worse. If a crisis line triggers people into feeling worse or more active suicidal activities, then it needs to be closed down, so adequately trained people can take over. That is my two cents worth.
Lifeline (in Australia) as my psychiatrist calls it, is a really mixed bag.
I have definitely been assisted by them, but a couple of times I got off the phone and had to immediately ring the Suicide Call Back Line because of the incredibly inappropriate advice "wrap your arms around your Father and embrace him with love etc" when he is my rapist - and I was in a terribly bad way. I don't ring when I am in a really bad way, because I need to keep myself safe. On a few occasions the incredibly inappropriate interaction that I had this crisis line "Life Line" did mean I attempted suicide.
Later I rang and complained about what was said to me, and the person on the other end of the phone was clearly shocked by what had been said to me.
@Justmehere rang for support, and was given a glib Hallmark card comment. Worse than useless because the energy reaching out to ask for support is so powerful and draining, we can't waste those moments of people's lives when they are brave enough to request assistance and help.
What gets passed off as compassionate care nowadays boggles my brain and breaks my heart.
When someone is in crisis and struggling to stay alive,
... they are not ringing up so someone can get their jollies by " helping". Someone rings a crisis line when they are in crisis, their needs are more important than someone who is trying to find purpose in their own lives (because they aren't able to make anymore progress in their own healing, as they lack the courage to take the next steps, so they spend time telling people who ring a crisis line what they wish that they could do for their own healing, or people who have lost someone to suicide so they have a need to "help and assist" to abate their own guilt and shame. That is being incredibly selfish, whilst pretending to be selfless.)
So the person who sent
@Justmehere that ridiculous comment, can go and say
"Well I helped people who were suicidal today", they can have a "Wow I am great!" type of conversation, and yet that is
utter rubbish. That person caused a lot of harm to the person who requested help, in this case
@Justmehere was so brave and courageous and able to start this thread. So many people in crisis don't have that, and what happens then? Just because there is no follow up, and you don't know that someone when off and tried to kill themselves or in fact did kill themselves doesn't mean that an unprofessional and incompetent helpline was not incredibly dangerous.
As
@AnD says
You did good. You reached out. They f*cked it up
I'm sorry you weren't met with more competent care.
I am a highly motivated person who works really hard on her recovery, I have received some serious damage and harm from volunteer/poorly trained professionals that will be with me for the rest of my life. That is why I bolded certain sections of my comments, because I want to be really clear what the issues are from my point of view.
I really feel for what
@Justmehere has gone through with this crisis line, and it is not okay, at all, what happened.
