Sufferer CSA and rape victim/survivor

[meander]

Not sure what to write here. I’m trying to get underneath more of the CPTSD side of things as it impacts my day to day life so much. I think I fall into the high functioning category and I guess suffer in silence. I fear a breakdown or possible suicide my bring the end of my pain.

 

[somerandomguy]

Hi, welcome to the forums. I can relate - I'm a high functioning mess.

I'm very sorry that you're suffering. Help is possible, though. Are you in therapy?

 

[meander]

Thank you. I am in therapy. I know I need to. Exploring EMDR but the first attempt sent me into a spiral so we’ve scaled back a little.

 

[littleoc]

EMDR is difficult. Having solid coping skills helps a bit.

Welcome to the forums. :) Hang in there — it gets easier

 

[Lucycat]

Hi @meander and welcome to the forum. I can empathise with your position. I have CPTSD from Child Sex Abuse also, and it is very hard to deal with. It was having a breakdown that sent me into therapy - but now I am out the other side. That will come for you too - there will be a time when you look back and realise that all the hard work of EMDR was worth it.

Please be patient with yourself, and it sounds like your therapist is understanding if they have already scaled back. Everybody is different, but when the damage is done over a long time then it takes longer to recover.

 

[sunshineandmoonshine]

Being high functioning can be so lonely. More than others, we high functioners are seen as just fine and not in any turmoil and just look how we "can get out of bed, but you know Susie has it so bad she can't even get out of bed, so just feel lucky you aren't in THAT much pain..."
Yeah. Chip on my shoulder about it.
High functioning hell here for me. I too fear a fatal break.

 

[EveHarrington]

Welcome!