Cutting Out Triggers

[Dana1010]

Last week I was discussing a recent night of high activation with my therapist. She asked me what I was doing and I told her I was lying on the bed reading a blog. She asked what the blog was about. I answered, "Oh, it's basically the police beat from around the city. A woman was attacked downtown last month, and I was reading about that." She raised her eyebrows in disbelief. "You were reading about someone being attacked?" as if to say, well of course you were activated, what do you expect? She went on to tell me that many a wise man has advised, do not read the news.

It got me thinking about the choices you have to make about what triggers to cut out and which have to be tolerated. I mean, if there's an attacker loose in the city I live in, shouldn't I know about that? I really enjoy news articles and most of them aren't about happy things. It's true that lately I find myself feeling more activated when I read them.

I feel like I've already been robbed of so much. Do I have to give up a bunch of my pastimes and hobbies too? What am I left with? And does it aid the healing process to avoid triggers and stay regulated for as long as possible? Or is it just hiding out, receding deeper into fear and avoidance?

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I think that if you enjoy reading about rape and murder and violence, then it might be time to look into finding new hobbies. Yes, its a good idea to protect yourself, but what would you do differently if an attacker was in your city? The truth is that people are victimized all the time, and only a few actually make it on the news. No, I am not trying to scare you, rather I am making the point that those types of people will always be out there, and its a good idea to protect yourself regardless.. Maybe you should ask yourself why you enjoy reading those types of articles? That might give you some insight.

 

[RussH]

As a news junky, somewhat,I understand your enjoyment of reading the news. Perhaps you can be a little more selective on the news you read? Find topics topics that interest you, but don't get into areas that will trigger you, unless it is like you said, a serial whatever in you city, and you want to keep informed, so you can stay safe.

 

[scout86]

a recent night of high activation

So, was that a problem? Maybe you like feeling "highly activated".

A "trigger" is just a "thing". I would think it's only a problem if it's a problem. If you lay awake at night, worrying about what you read in the paper, if reading it makes you scared to leave your house, it's a problem. If you like doing it, maybe it's NOT a problem. Which doesn't mean it's not good to be aware of how things affect you.

 

[Dana1010]

@Solara, I enjoy reading the news, period. It just so happens that if it bleeds it leads so a lot of what makes the news happens to have some alarming aspects to it. The Jones family Sunday picnic doesn't sound very news worthy, does it? It may be true that my interests tend towards the noir but is that a categorically bad thing?

@RussH, I mostly read political magazines and blogs. There's a lot of conflict and strife in that arena, yes, but if I eliminate those elements, what's left to read? Greeting cards?

@scout86, By "activated" I mean triggered, anxious, under attack.

 

[Chava]

I can't read stuff like that. But I like to keep up on basic world events, even if most of the news is depressing. If reading up on assaults is something you enjoy, once you realize what you are reading, you just have to decide if it's worth the activation or triggering. Probably lots of us avoid certain things and I'd be the first to say I don't want my life to feel limited. But I don't do what I don't have to and avoid triggers unless it feels really important to me, or like it's important to someone else (like I had to work on panic attacks while being on stage because that was my work, my identity, and I loved it). And oddly, avoiding other triggers isn't all horrible...it has helped me develop new interests too when I needed more quiet time to myself (so like getting into painting). Sometimes it feels like it's all loss when it comes to trauma, I know. But it doesn't have to be. It just takes work to enjoy life while safely challenging ourselves in helpful ways so we don't become total hermits.

You could probably avoid triggering stories and still spend a load of time reading the news, so you do have choices. If you like the attack stories, yes ask yourself why, otherwise decide which need is more important...reading them or feeling non-activated. I don't think you'll slip into the dark ages if you miss those stories because I haven't yet. If I see a posted photo of a sex criminal I take a look, maybe note the location, that's about it. I don't need the details of what he did to someone else. But if you are really drawn into reading those stories, maybe it has to do with some part of you trying to understand or gain control over trauma, or your body being hooked on activation/adrenaline...I don't know. But you don't have to read them.

 

[Dana1010]

Just so you guys understand, I don't regularly visit a site devoted to reported crimes in my city. I just followed a link on a regular news paper's site.

 

[Chava]

So you just have to work on filtering, right? You don't have to stop reading the news, but if you don't want to be triggered be aware of potentially triggering headlines or links. If you want to read and know if all the bad guys have been caught, or who to look out for, this trigger scenario will simply continue because that news will always be there (as mentioned), sadly.

 

[desiderata310]

I don't read the news anymore . I don't even have a way to watch local news on tv.(Internet only)

I am careful about what I watch and read because it can be a problem for me.

Usually

I think that there are times when I read things I KNOW are going to trigger the f*ck out of me.

Why?

I am not quite sure.

I think to check, to see if it really IS still the problem I remember it to be. Sometimes I think I do it to kind of punish myself. Because I think that there is a part of me that thinks that I need to see that the good get saved and the bad get punished, but often backfires on me because my thinking goes I to tailspin and I wind up thinking, well, no one saved me so I must be bad.

I don't think that you CAN reasonably hide from the world in that manner but you don't have to go out looking for it either. It's just not feasible.

That said, I am trying to get back to a place of stability so that I can close the f*cking box ( like I've been trying to do for the last several months) I'm trying to minimize triggers as much as possible.

Was that as clear and helpful as mud?

 

[joeylittle]

I think you can always choose whether you are up to the challenge of tolerating something or not; what becomes important is the moment of choice. I enjoy horror films/television, but sometimes I know that instead of enjoying it, and having a welcome distraction, I'll more likely get agitated.

So, I choose to not agitate myself. Or I spend time getting re-regulated so that I can watch the thing I want.

I just don't think there can be a blanket rule - that seems very self-defeating (as you yourself suggest; I'm agreeing wholeheartedly)

I think of it as choosing to go in the most useful direction, rather than choosing to avoid. Avoidance is a slippery slope, in my opinion.

 

[Friday]

There are some things I love doing, that as you say, are just very activating. f*ck it. That's mine.

There are some things I love doing sometimes, that I have to really limit myself in. Because they'll cause the mother of all storms later. I have to consider very carefully if I have the time available to me to recover from them & if they're worth it. But I still do them. Sometimes.

There are some things I hate, loathe, despise, abhor... But have to do anyway. Fine. I'll do them. I won't be happy about it, and I'll be really pissed (angry not drunk) later, but I will do them if I view it as the right thing to do.

And then most of the rest, I'm thrilled to cut out of my life. Bye. Buh-bye now. Byes! Peace the eff out.

There we have it: my 4 categories of triggers. There's a 5th (unsure of which category it belongs in) that Inhave to play around with awhile to really categorize it, but all of them eventually end up in Mine, Sometimes, Grrrrr, or Hell no.

 

[StellaBlue]

I read this a couple of months ago and thought it very interesting: Link Removed.