Cutting Ties With Family

[Casey_03]

I have put up with a lot of bullshit from my relatives in the past few months, but today was the final straw.

My uncle showed up this morning unannounced and notified me he would be cutting electricity to do some work. I asked if he could wait until I finish work, because if my modem is unplugged and I cannot access the Internet to file my stories by deadline, I will lose my job (i'm already on thin ice there). He didn't say anything and walked out. Two minutes later, lo and behold, he cut the power.

I was in the middle of a conversation with the editor in chief, who was urging me to post a story within the next 5 minutes. The Internet was out for about 40 minutes, and I signed back on to see angry messages from my superiors.

I went down and told my uncle that I really need to move out so that these things don't happen while I'm trying to work. (He owes me 2,000 dollars from my grandma's will, and he knows I need that money to move out). So I told him I'd need it asap, after he had earlier told me he was going to hang on to it until I need it.

His response? Was to tell me I waste money and can't be trusted with it, then to disparage me for "all the Amazon packages" sent here, which he sees as me wasting money. I order all my baby's foods and supplies through Amazon, everything from nursing vitamins to baby cereals to wipes and diapers. And yes, I spend a lot on purchases -- FOR MY CHILD. To have this middle-aged sleaze of a man talking down to me, at the age of 32, after I have survived on my own in a foreign country for a decade, was the final straw for me.

He then accused me of being a drama queen, which is a huge trigger for me. Yes, I'm a drama queen because I am hanging on by a thread, literally, and struggling to take care of a child entirely on my own. I'm being dramatic because I don't want to lose my job when I'm the sole breadwinner and am barely surviving? That's dramatic?

I am so f*cking sick of this. I have started packing up my things and am moving out today, though I don't know where to. I may very well just go back to Ukraine. I have now remembered why I left my family in the first place.

(There is a lot of other stuff to this story, but I am so angry I can barely type. This family has consistently been beyond awful to me, yet they think they are somehow being supportive. By throwing out my belongings, by jeopardizing my job. And any time I dare speak up, I'm told i'm being a drama queen.)

 

[scout86]

I really think you have resources available in this country that you don't have in eastern Europe. (I'm not sure I'd want to be there with a baby right now, the political situation being what it looks like it is.)

It's pretty obvious that your biological family isn't one of those resources. I wish that was different, but I guess I'm not surprised. (If they were ok, your relationship with them would have been better all along.)

You just lookout for yourself & the munchkin. You'll find a way through this. I guess, in your situation, I'd be thinking about reliable friends who's be up for houseguests until you can get on your feet. Not necessarily in the state you're in now, since it sounds like one of our less progressive places.

Good luck!

 

[Casey_03]

I really think you have resources available in this country that you don't have in eastern Europe.

Thanks, I know there are certain resources in this country that would be helpful, but no friends or other relatives I can stay with. And rent that is three times as high as that in Ukraine. I may end up going back just for a year or two so I can save up money to move back and be independent. I had been counting on the money from my uncle to rent a place, and without that it's not feasible for me to live anywhere here. It doesn't appear he's going to give it to me. If he miraculously does, I will likely stay in the U.S. but move far far away from my family.

 

[Casey_03]

I should also add that this same uncle who tried to preach to me about "spending too much money" just went out and bought two brand new cars. (sorry, just venting. Still angry. SO SO angry)

 

[Freedomfighter]

I have put up with a lot of bullshit from my relatives in the past few months, but today was the final...

Agree with scout. I am from Europe and there is no way I would move there, the instability of NATO, the strive between European countries would place anyone into an insecure position, especially a mom caring for her child.
I order items from Amazon all the time, savings in gas, not traveling to all of the different stores that do not carry those items anyway like all of the other idiots that waste an entire tank of gas looking for a little item that originally costs 2 dollars, but they spend 20 bucks to find it in a store and waste their entire day (seriously how stupid are they?)

What this sleaze of a man is doing is known as gas lighting, a much used scam to further harass and intimidate the victim. I see male loosers do this shit every day. Speak up for myself and they give half ass lies and excuses for their own sick and inexcusable behaviors.
My dad violated me, he will tell you that is what a 4 year old girl wants. The people that stalk me will tell you that they are my best friends. The criminals that cheat me by not giving aid when needed will tell you that I was the guilty party in all of it...... oh yeah, that explains why I have PTSD. The religious fanatics will tell you that god is punishing me because I dare to stand up against male bullies.....

The list goes on and on. Try to get assistance in this country, it will be good for you. Show your child that you are the parent that can do that.

I always got angry when I heard the crap of totally messed up people. Most people are so f..... up that I don't want to believe it. But then I have to realize: oh my god, they really are that f..... up and they really are that sick mentally, and they really will tell any lie if it will make them feel better about themselves. Most of them have a rage inside when they realize that someone else has it figured out and they are in the dark ages, stuck in the Neanderthal ages, stuck with men that don't float their boat, stuck with men who do not even let them be natural women, like I said the list goes on an on.

While you still are in control you can move out and live your life like you want to.