This is about my dad only not my mum...
My friend told me that I don't owe my dad anything and that the work here is for me to start slowly snipping away at the parental cords that binds us, as it's so unhealthy...
First, this never even occurred to me as an option. Second I absolutely DO feel a responsibility towards him in some way. Like I owe him something. And third, the level of guilt in trying to cut cords (having tried much much earlier in life - like 30 years ago) I know is like a tsunami....
yes, there was abuse in my childhood... but there have been moments in my adult life where he has looked outside himself and being there in some small way for me... but ultimately he is very ego- centric and for a large part of my life has made him to be the victim and me to be the perp
I just don't get how to cut cords or be in a place of being able to...
Maybe the first question is what would it achieve?
Anyone want to share their experience?
My friend told me that I don't owe my dad anything and that the work here is for me to start slowly snipping away at the parental cords that binds us, as it's so unhealthy...
First, this never even occurred to me as an option. Second I absolutely DO feel a responsibility towards him in some way. Like I owe him something. And third, the level of guilt in trying to cut cords (having tried much much earlier in life - like 30 years ago) I know is like a tsunami....
yes, there was abuse in my childhood... but there have been moments in my adult life where he has looked outside himself and being there in some small way for me... but ultimately he is very ego- centric and for a large part of my life has made him to be the victim and me to be the perp
I just don't get how to cut cords or be in a place of being able to...
Maybe the first question is what would it achieve?
Anyone want to share their experience?