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DID D.I.D. and full conciousness

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@SaharaSon , sorry for what you go through with flashbacks.
I do the same, and a lot of people do.
Dissociation and dissociative experiences are common in PTSD, particularly during flashbacks. They don't necessarily indicate DID or DID-type behaviour.

I don't mean to be rude or otherwise, but there's a categorical difference between dissociation during a flashback, and even dissociation outside a flashback context, and then OSDD and then DID.

I think of it a bit like a spectrum.
At one end you have normal "zoning out", and things like highway hypnosis, then you have going on autopilot, going on autopilot under stress, going on autopilot under stress automatically, PTSD, OSDD and then DID.

It all sucks. But yeah, I guess the difference to me is dissociating whilst having a flashback and dissociating whilst washing the dishes and then finding some idiot has put your plates back all wrong and broken one or two.

One thing that I just wanted to add, is that a very strong theme that I have had throughout my life is abandonment, alienation and a profound sense of having been left behind. This theme runs hard through some of the movies like Platoon, The Deer Hunter and Black Hawk Down, and it hits me like a ton of bricks. When I was four years old I was abandoned by my mother, and she took my two older brothers from me as well. Nice. I was left with strangers in a strange land. To top it off my dad was severely injured. I was cut off of all communication. At a much later date we were reunited, but not before a h*ll of a lot of damage had been done. A psyche doc told me that in all probability, as a mechanism for coping with the trauma, my mother died to me emotionally at that time. Enter PTSD, CPTSD, IED, DID, and OCD? She f*cked me up pretty darn good. Talk about feeling like a motherless child...
 
I don't mean to be rude or otherwise, but there's a categorical difference between dissociation during a flashback, and even dissociation outside a flashback context, and then OSDD and then DID.

Seems to me @SaharaSon (correct me if I’m wrong, man) was replying to this piece right here in the OP ...
When triggered, I slip into a state that has a different sense in age and behavior.

Since he was sharing about how sometimes when he’s triggered he slips into a state that has a different sense in age and behavior.

And, for the record, I do the exact same thing as Sahara & the OP in that regard...
. In one sense, I am separating from present reality, but in another, I am being brought back to a previous reality of mine.

...to the level it can look like DID. Because my entire affect changes. (My accent, language, my posture, Hell, even what hand I use most and how I tie my shoes). I walk, talk, think, and act very differently than I do otherwise.

Shrug. It ain’t DID. I’m just in a different headspace. Operating out of an entirely different rulebook.

It also isn’t “just” a flashback, in the sense that I-me am reliving something from the past, and it isn’t my past and present blurring which is another common side effect when I’m living half in the present & half in the past, instead I am becoming my own past self. Back to a previous reality.

I-me becomes then-me-now. Shifting back is kind of a pain in the ass.

I don’t think that’s really that uncommon with PTSD? Although I’m not exactly sure, either. I’m thinking if it’s as common as I think it is, it’s probably just a lot more noticeable when past selves & past worlds are so vastly different; compared to current self & current worlds. Like if someone is acting/speaking/thinking like a child, or in a war zone.
 
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Yeah, definitely a continuum.
Different things work for me in different states.
I didn't mean to imply one was harder or more of a problem than another - because honestly for me flashback dissociation is worse than switching.
 
Swift, I think I agree massive and flashbacks worse times than an alter fronting for sure. Although some alters are dissociative kids. Really hard on me when they try fronting. Would rather just blackout.
 
I didn't mean to imply one was harder or more of a problem than another - because honestly for me flashback dissociation is worse than switching.
Not about it being better or worse...

Just the whole if a person asks if XYZ = This?
It’s perfectly rational to state I have XYZ = That (not this).

Without it trying to horn in, or invalidate, or being off topic... because it’s about that not this. And zip zero nada zilch out which is harder or easier.

Even more so when someone asks

Could this be DID? If not, has anyone experienced anything like this before?

Yep. Totally experienced that. And here is what it is for me.

I think you locked into it being a Q about DID, maybe? // IE only DID responses are valid?
Rather than it being a Q about a symptom, and what that symptom might mean?
 
Seems to me @SaharaSon (correct me if I’m wrong, man) was replying to this piece right here in the OP ...


Since he was sharing about how sometimes when he’s triggered he slips into a state that has a different sense in age and behavior.

And, for the record, I do the exact same thing as Sahara & the OP in that regard...


...to the level it can look like DID. Because my entire affect changes. (My accent, language, my posture, Hell, even what hand I use most and how I tie my shoes). I walk, talk, think, and act very differently than I do otherwise.

Shrug. It ain’t DID. I’m just in a different headspace. Operating out of an entirely different rulebook.

It also isn’t “just” a flashback, in the sense that I-me am reliving something from the past, and it isn’t my past and present blurring which is another common side effect when I’m living half in the present & half in the past, instead I am becoming my own past self. Back to a previous reality.

I-me becomes then-me-now. Shifting back is kind of a pain in the ass.

I don’t think that’s really that uncommon with PTSD? Although I’m not exactly sure, either. I’m thinking if it’s as common as I think it is, it’s probably just a lot more noticeable when past selves & past worlds are so vastly different; compared to current self & current worlds. Like if someone is acting/speaking/thinking like a child, or in a war zone.
Friday, really well said. I see that we were working out of different rulebooks. I think in some ways, in the long run, your rulebook gave you a better (healthier) escape, or even just an escape, from your trauma. Still you have a bunch of challenges to deal with, no doubt. When my mother abandoned me I didn"t just lose a mother, at a very early age, but my role in humanity changed drastically. Not only was I selected against, but I was consciously, and very deliberately, selected against by the human I was most dependent on emotionally, on this earth. Its like, and I mean like, your mother being a Nazi doctor in a concentration camp saying to your brothers, "you get in this line to stay alive and work", and saying to me, "you get in this line for the gas chambers". Instead of being able to slip in and out of reality, I reconstructed my reality to never completely trust a human being again and at a deep level to become very, very angry. When we are babies or very young children we don't get to choose how we deal with our traumas, environment and genetics must rule the day. Although, I do have memory gaps in the past and in the present and sometimes wonder what may be going on during those periods that I am currently unconscious of.
 
Yeah, I apologise for not reading the response in it's fullest. I think what I was actually responding to is flashback type behaviour being called DID type behaviour - because it is different in a lot of levels.
I think I'll shut up now :)
 
Because the symptoms of PTSD run through the ego states experienced in DID systems, sufferers of PTSD only will always concur with some symptomology. This does not logically exclude a DID Dx. Therefore it still comes down to presenting all of the known facts to a qualified psychiatrist and allowing the current best practices to guide the diagnostic determination for each individual.

Shutting up now is always going to lead a person further from the truth. Fear will always impede success in any endeavor that involves communication with others.

I suggest setting aside any opinions from us and just working through the healthcare systems you have access to for an answer to your question if currently your treatment is not addressing the symptoms you're experiencing that cause confusion or emotional distress.

Personally, I don't think I begin to understand some responses on the thread. We can only attempt to describe our symptoms.

I've found some help here on the forum when others have given validation regarding my symptoms as an accurate description of particular PTSD phenomena. That said, I used it to seek professional advice to clarify that information.

Please don't fear that very important last step. ?
 
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