Justmehere
Sponsor
My therapist is encouraging me to give another go at dating.
I have been avoidant for years, even while dating, but lately, I’ve been longing for deeper connection and relationships in my life. Even with friends, I want more connection and it’s weird for me. My therapist says it’s healthy. Feels strange. Recovery is weird.
My therapisr is adamant I need to stop “waiting to be perfect.”
Hmm.
I restarted my online dating profile andI’m reading through the messages.
There is no reason the messages should freak me out, and I know how to say no, or give a “safe number” (not my cell) and whatever... that’s not the issue.
Butthe messages to call guys are freaking me out.
I have learned to go have fun on the first few dates and then bring up in a vague way, oh by the way I have ptsd and even a service dog that I use sometimes... the first few dates before that are always fun, and afterwards... I don’t know. The ones that stick around are usually terrible for me.
I’m not enough. I’ve been on dates with guys with great careers and lives and families... I hide the fact that in my own life? I’m working my way off disability and I have almost no family contact. Post trauma, I avoid, avoid, avoid.
I don’t want to just have fun together anymore. I want someone I can be really real with and I don’t want to pick desperate guys because I don’t think any other ones would want to be with me.
The last guy I dated was so sweet, so kind, we totally clicked, until he realized how much I do use my service dog for work. (Not on dates.) He said he didn’t realize the struggle was that real and it wasn’t the right fit. That’s cool. Glad he was honest.... and never saw me symptomatic. We are still friends, and that’s all good, but damn it.
I want to not just find a great catch, but be one. I’m in therapy, I’m doing the work, but it’s going to be a long haul to really rebuild my life - and I don’t want to be so damn alone or superficial. I want to have a partner to help support in their life - I’m there for friends all the time. I want someone who is ok with really knowing me too.
I don’t know how to get there.
I have been avoidant for years, even while dating, but lately, I’ve been longing for deeper connection and relationships in my life. Even with friends, I want more connection and it’s weird for me. My therapist says it’s healthy. Feels strange. Recovery is weird.
My therapisr is adamant I need to stop “waiting to be perfect.”
Hmm.
I restarted my online dating profile andI’m reading through the messages.
There is no reason the messages should freak me out, and I know how to say no, or give a “safe number” (not my cell) and whatever... that’s not the issue.
Butthe messages to call guys are freaking me out.
I have learned to go have fun on the first few dates and then bring up in a vague way, oh by the way I have ptsd and even a service dog that I use sometimes... the first few dates before that are always fun, and afterwards... I don’t know. The ones that stick around are usually terrible for me.
I’m not enough. I’ve been on dates with guys with great careers and lives and families... I hide the fact that in my own life? I’m working my way off disability and I have almost no family contact. Post trauma, I avoid, avoid, avoid.
I don’t want to just have fun together anymore. I want someone I can be really real with and I don’t want to pick desperate guys because I don’t think any other ones would want to be with me.
The last guy I dated was so sweet, so kind, we totally clicked, until he realized how much I do use my service dog for work. (Not on dates.) He said he didn’t realize the struggle was that real and it wasn’t the right fit. That’s cool. Glad he was honest.... and never saw me symptomatic. We are still friends, and that’s all good, but damn it.
I want to not just find a great catch, but be one. I’m in therapy, I’m doing the work, but it’s going to be a long haul to really rebuild my life - and I don’t want to be so damn alone or superficial. I want to have a partner to help support in their life - I’m there for friends all the time. I want someone who is ok with really knowing me too.
I don’t know how to get there.
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