General Daughter With PTSD

[Helly]

As a carer of a 16yr old daughter who has just been diagnosed with complicated PTSD, I was using my day off work today to try to find some further answers and stumbled on this site. God what a relief!! When I say just diagnosed, it was on Saturday that she got to meet with an Auckland pyschiatrist who decided after reading copious notes spanning about 10 years that she didn't just have PTSD but Complex/Complicated PTSD. Before she had been diagnosed with General Anxiety disorder. Its a long story and I don't want to bog everyone down, but I was interested in reading the above posts, because it feels to me, as a mum, that it is so difficult being a 'normal' mum to my daughter. Sometimes I feel I let her off too easy, not wanted to make her feel worse, sometimes I put my foot down, only to find out she has hacked at her arm again. I feel like I am walking on a very thin tightrope most of the time, and I feel so useless and hopeless because the one thing I want to do is help her to be happy because she is my daughter and I love her so much. But there is nothing so bad as watching her continually fighting her demons inside and not being able to help take them away. Don't get me wrong, I don't just lie down and let her walk all over me, but its that feeling of being on edge when I do discipline her because I am never sure of the outcome. One night I told her off for not eating the meal she said she wanted, I didn't yell at her or anything. The next thing she was running out the door in the pitch black to go god knows where, but we live by a river and that terrified me. I thought she had gone to throw herself in there. So I jumped in the car and drove the short distance to the river got out running up and down the banks I couldn't see her anywhere. I was crying and yelling out her name and felt like screaming but managed to drive back home thinking I would ring the police. When I got there she was standing in the garden. I was so angry and scared I didn't know what to do. In the end I just went inside, she followed and sat down in the lounge. I turned everything off, lights tv etc and went to bed, not saying a word. The next thing she comes in crying, saying she is sorry and talked about alot of stuff that was in her head at that time. I felt relief but also a kind of sick feeling that I was lucky that time. So yeah it is so damn hard dealing with all of this, yet she is a lovely girl that I pray will make it to being a lovely woman. She is on medication Seraquel and is coming off citalopram slowly before she takes Venlafaxine Efexor. She hears voices in her head telling her that her time is up, they are getting worse and so are her suicidal tendencies. So any ideas on how to help me help her would be greatly appreciated.

 

[pandora]

It concerns me that she is hearing voices.....what do these voices tell her to do? Has she ever been tested or is there a family history of schizophrenia??? I hope you don't mind that I asked that.....it just sounds scary. Does she have a therapist that specializes in trauma or maybe she should be reassessed by someone....she is very young. She is lucky to have a Mom that is so concerned but I would definately get another opinion or at least a med review. Some medications when used with teenagers can increase suicidal tendencies. Good luck! I hope things get better soon and you get some peace of mind.
Does she have a therapist to talk to regularly and is she being completely honest? Maybe starting a journal of her thoughts and feelings might help as well as CBT to change her thought processes...in turn helping her to focus and stop hurting herself (cutting) they teach strategies to fight off the strong feelings to hurt herself. Take good care of yourselves.

 

[catjudo]

I'm sorry that I don't have any good advice on how to help your daughter but I do want to share that I personally know, from first-hand experience, that it is possible to have auditory hallucinations without being schizophrenic. It is possible to be so severely depressed that you have auditory hallucinations and the things that the sufferer hears are so dark, disparaging and frightening that it can easily drive them to attempt suicide. I've been told by professionals that hallucinations caused by depression are among the worst but I don't have anything to compare them to so I can't really offer an opinion on that.

Your daughter, with your help, has a long journey ahead of her. I'm still on my long journey but my auditory hallucinations and suicide attempts/ideation are seven long years behind me. I can't begin to describe what a dark, desperate time that was. If she's anything like I was, she probably feels like she is losing her mind and there's no way for anyone around her to understand what she's going through. For the most part she's right (at least about people not being able to understand). She's very lucky to have your support. This can be overcome. Best of luck to you both. :Hug_emoticon:

 

[Auburngirl]

Hi there,

I have complex PTSD too. It is a challenging thing to live with and I'm sure all the more difficult when you are 16. It will be hard to tell what parts are a 16 year old being a teenager, and what parts are C-PTSD. I can already tell she's very lucky to have you as her mum.

I find there is comfort in routine. You can help her with this - getting up and going to bed at a particular time (or even just in the morning and in the evening), eating. Her therapist can help her set goals. Stopping self harming and sorting out medication is definitely a priority, but both could be ongoing negotiations.

Have you had a chance to talk to her psychiatrist about what C-PTSD is? Does she have dissociative symptoms?

I'm not sure I've been of much help, but best of luck. And make sure you enjoy the good days and hours. They may at times feel like brief fleeting oases in a desert of struggle but they are precious and they are what help keep us all going.

 

[ga yankee]

i usually don't post in the carers section but I wanted you and your daughter to know---

Ditto...I also have C-PTSD and I hear voices and see things out of the corners of my eyes. I've been told it's because of my hyper-vigilance and the depression...I have no other diagnosis. Not that PTSD isn't enough. Talk talk talk is my suggestion. Her, you, therapists, groups like this. I've healed so much with understanding of this. Before I just thought I was nuts. I'm not...I have PTSD. Welcome and good luck.

 

[Nicolette]

Welcome to the forum Helly. I have been reading this thread and can't even imagine how difficult what you are going is like, let alone the struggle your daughter has. There is nothing I can think of saying in relation to offering advice but I am here reading and listening if that counts for anything....all I can do offer is an ear. :rolleyes:

 

[Ace Ventura]

Visual/Auditory symptoms

I would like to echo Ga Yankee's response:

"Ditto...I also have C-PTSD and I hear voices and see things out of the corners of my eyes. I've been told it's because of my hyper-vigilance and the depression..."

My husband (PTSD sufferer) also has periods where he sees things, especially out of the corners of his eyes. Hyper-vigilance and depression are big issues for him, too.