DBT: Has Anyone Here Gone Through This Therapy?

[Maryann]

Thanks for the encouragement but I'm not bullet proof. My oldest son is a disabled veteran and was in the hospital for week during Christmas, New Year and my birthday. I did hold it together. I still use it and it works but the thing that I hate about this (and every other tool) is that you have to keep using it. You can't take a day off. I tried to take a couple days "off" of the constant monitoring and relaxation and just eat junk food and have a few angry thoughts now and then and this morning woke up in a cold sweat. I have to work all the time probably for the rest of my life.

Thank you for your encouragement too! I have gone to 3 sessions of DBT and so far it seems OK. But, I am fighting not getting overwhelmed by so much introspection and having to analyzing my every thought and action. After freaking out about the amount of work that's involved, I am slowly moving forward.

I just had 2 shocking pieces of news last night and all I want to do is shut down by sleeping. I don't even want to acknowledge the facts of it and I definitely don't want to talk about it. My regular therapist is recovering from surgery. I only have a temp DBT counselor that I will see this coming up Tue. I would assume this is a great time to practice some skills. But since I'm still confused about the skills, it would make me even more angry and frustrated.

 

[Hashi]

...so much introspection and having to analyzing my every thought and action...

I found this very hard when I started. I struggled to keep the diary. For me, it was a very alien way of approaching things, and it was a huge amount of work. I felt like all my old ways of doing things were under attack in a way, as well as under the microscope. While that was a good thing and what I ultimately wanted/needed, it really was a lot all at once.

I've found some of the skills difficult, and I'm still learning, practising, and working to apply them. I think it really is worth it, though.

It comes in time and in stages, I find. Three weeks is not very long, so I wouldn't expect too much of yourself. If you can put any skills into practice now, then great. If it's just a case of using this time to try to understand some of the skills a bit more, and see how they could be used in a situation like this, I think that alone would be significant progress.

I'm sorry you've had such difficult news. I can understand just wanting to sleep. It must be harder that you can't see your regular therapist at the moment.

 

[Hashi]

I still use it and it works but the thing that I hate about this (and every other tool) is that you have to keep using it. You can't take a day off. I tried to take a couple days "off" of the constant monitoring and relaxation and just eat junk food and have a few angry thoughts now and then and this morning woke up in a cold sweat. I have to work all the time probably for the rest of my life.

I've only just seen your post here. I hope things have got a bit better since you wrote it.

Yes, it's hard not to have a day off. I'm feeling exactly the same way, with eating well and also with regard to marshalling helpful and healthy coping thoughts and behaviours. I have to hope it will become more natural to me over time. At the moment, it's just hard work.

 

[Gloria]

Please guys don't give up! The first month or two are the very hardest. They say it takes 30-60 days to learn a new habit and I was so totally exhausted trying to track those automatic thoughts. But then you start to get "repeats" and then instead of needing to writie it down, you remember the last time you wrote it down and how you coped and it just disappears. I am also writing down my automatic thoughts when I wake up from bad dreams. Notice that I didn't say nightmares. Nightmares are so awful that when I wake up I have PTSD symptoms. Bad dreams are just kind of annoying that you saw or experienced something unpleasant and aren't nearly as bad.

You know I would mind participating in a discussion thread about our DBT. If we did this, we could share our automatic thought and how what we told ourselves to change that. Also, we could share how we accomplish mindfulness. It takes practice and I am sure that you will be encouraged and get ideas from other people who try to get into that mindful state.

Off I go to my automatic thought log as I had bad dreams. I am now looking up on the internet interpretations for the bad dreams and once I realize that my mind is trying to tell me something, the next time I have the dream I am aware of the reason and can actually change my dreams. I think that's really amazing! Me controlling my dreams? What a novel idea!!

Hugs and blessing to all and hoping you have a wonderful day. If you didn't find it difficult, you wouldn't be making progress!:p

 

[Abstract]

You can't take a day off

That is darn hard isn't it. Whenever I have felt exhausted and that I need to just float along I slide downwards very quickly. The biggest difficulty I probably have is staying connected to what I think and feel enough to be able to manage my interactions with others and moderate my mood. And therefore have enough information to judge how to best act in situations.

In truth a lot of it is automatic compared to 4 years or ago. It helps to look back on my writing or poems as it is easy to forget. It just still requires an enormous amount of work.

I am more accepting of that in the last 6 or so months though and that helps. At the beginning I had to diarise (detailed descriptions of all that happened in the day and how I felt or should have felt) for a couple of hours every day without fail to have any hope of not self destructing.

and end up with a major depression

Thats exactly what happens to me. Being aware has reduced my depression symptoms enormously as well as my suicidal thoughts. In the last 2 years I have developed enough self awareness to realise that dropping it immediately sends me into depression mode. Thank you for sharing that. It is so helpful to see someone else say this is the case for them!

PTSD really sucks!

Nothing wrong with saying it! It does suck!!;)

! I have gone to 3 sessions of DBT

Maryann,
That is only a tiny taste of it and you so deserve to be patient with yourself and treat yourself with compassion. I am sorry you find yourself so tested to early and hope your situation has improved.

I know people who have been on two years of DBT group sessions before they are able to use the skills effectively but everyone I know that has done this has said it changed their life. I hope that is the case for you!

it's just hard work.

Sorry it is that now Hashi. It is all hard work. Maybe the changes are there and sometimes we don't realise how far we have come.

I know for me that sometimes progress can actually initially be painful. I have made connections but I have not yet taken the next step which enables me to reduce distress. Its like cleaning a wound in some respects.

a discussion thread

I would really like that too. Sadly I can't seem to access a group and when it comes to therapy I want something different. So I rely on books and online for DBT.

bad dreams

I hope they pass soon Gloria. Not fond of dreams.

internet interpretations

I do this too! It can be helpful.

If you didn't find it difficult, you wouldn't be making progress!

And sadly this is often true. Sometimes it happens effortlessly but usually not. I find just putting one foot in front the other helpful as it makes it much less overwhelming for me.

Thanks for sharing everyone.

 

[Gloria]

All who want to be included in a DBT discussion, please PM me. I will share my automatic thought for the day and how I resolved it. Also, anyone sharing how they stayed mindful and didn't freak is an inspiration to me. Today, I am being tested for ovarian cancer (as I have several symptoms) so this DBT is keeping me grounded. I tell myself that 95 % of the people who are tested for cancer are negative.

PTSD does stink. My new significant other is so nice. He thinks I'm so wonderful but I made darn sure that he knew that I have a serious form of PTSD and it has interfered with past relationships and caused hospitlizations. It kind of burst his bubble a little as his last wife was a alcoholic and no one really chooses to be involved with someone with mental disorders.

However, I pointed out that no one ever can tell I am freaking out with PTSD unless they see me in a nightmare at night. I know that anyone reading this will understand. We are so good at hiding our terror and anxiety that we smile and act like nothing is bothering us.

Well, my new significant other is going to therapy and talk to our pastor and join this site if that's what it takes. He already suddenly touched me in a private place (by accident not on purpose) and saw my reaction. If I see it coming, I am fine but my knee jerk reaction is not good. So I did cry and now he is so careful about grabbing me and picking me up and hugging me. He is a huge (6'4") teddy bear and means no harm but large men can startle me if I'm not prepared.

This is just one example of living with someone with PTSD. On the other hand, people with PTSD seem so much more self aware and so loyal and my automatic thought of being a burden was balanced by thinking of all the positive things I bring to the table in this relationship.

 

[Namaste]

I just discharged from a Women's Trauma DBT program last week.

I went three days a week, met with a one on one every other week, and a psychiatrist for med regulation every other week. I was there since October, and I can say it did help a little.

It gave me the skills to try and cope, and manage the symptoms of the PTSD, as well as lessen my vulnerabilities. I learned a lot about myself, my triggers, etc., and had some serious breakthroughs while I was there. It didn't hurt that I was with women whom I grew close to, and made me feel safe and that I wasn't the only one going through this hell.

As I said, I discharged last week, and I'm finding it hard to adjust to life outside of the program. I still see my original T (and the one who referred me to the program) once a week, and am seeing her tomorrow for the first time since my DBT program.

I've learned a lot of interpersonal effectiveness skills, and have been trying to apply those. It helps, but Rome wasn't built in a day. It's going to take a long time for me to get a full grasp on things, but I Just have to keep working at it.

I'm supposed to start EMDR with my T, but we shall see.

Good luck to everyone!

 

[Gloria]

I tried EMDR and I think it might help but the DBT has done one totally incredible thing for me. As soon as I get a thought or just a feeling, I immediately picture in my head the Excel spreadsheet that I keep my DBT automatic thoughts on. I don't waste five seconds writing something down if I don't need to.

I am a Christian but I am passionate about becoming friends and learning other's religious beliefs without judgement. I have actually seen my "wounders, molesters, perpetrators" or whatever you want to call them and have been able to just turn away without feeling anything. You see they are not worth my attention.

I focus my attention on my morning coffee, the soft fur of my cat, the smell of my horse, my sons' smiles and all the good things and have gotten to the point where I have no feelings of hatred for anyone. I was just thinking last night that if there is an afterlife where I will see people, I don't even want to see my sister or brother or anyone. They did what they did, it's over and the present is all I have. I think Alan Watts who is one of my favorite authors would be proud of me. I think I stay in the moment much of the time which is something that seemed so difficult that I never thought I could do it.

I have gained so much insight by the sharing that has been done on this thread and thank all of you!

Many blessings!
Gloria

 

[Gloria]

I think I would be scared of a group setting. I have been working on different aspects of DBT. I think if practiced would be very helpful.

Nighthawk, I have read your posts and seen you grow. You would do great in a group setting. You might be afraid of revealing too much but in groups, I always learn so much from other's experiences!
Hugs,
Gloria

 

[kimba]

Hi everyone,
I just want to share that my first group experience EVER was doing a two week, 9 AM- 2PM program M-F intense DBT program. It was an hour and a half drive to get there and home each day on top of the "work" done in the groups. I actually had to go through the program twice because I had so many issues the first week of try #1 as an outpatient that I really only experienced one week of the program.

For try #2, I went as an inpatient for two weeks so I was living on the campus and we had DBT groups following the same schedule mentioned, but with added groups on the weekends for a few hours and an additional group each evening. It was alot of work, but I can say it has helped. My medications got squared away at the same time.

My PTSD symptoms have settled down a bit where I am not as super-hypervigilant as I was and I have minor panic attacks instead of major ones much less frequently. My SI is less intense and happens less frequently as well. There is more hope and a more even keel in life overall.

DBT takes time to become part of your daily life and for those who have been numb or not good at figuring out what they are feeling, it is a big change once you start figuring out how thoughts influence feelings etc.

Good luck to everyone doing the DBT and I hope it helps you as it has helped me.

 

[Gloria]

Thank you for sharing Kimba! I didn't go through group therapy but got started on DBT with a therapist. Then I took it from there with workbooks. I can appreciate how hard it is to get in the habit of being mindful every single day.

I immediately switch my thoughts because I have learned to discipline myself using DBT. Overall that has been very beneficial. However, during the last month I have been completely isolated in my house and unable to stand on my feet because of a fractured bone in my foot. I ordered many things on-line because I couldn't get to the store and so there were boxes everywhere and my house was filthy. I had cobwebs and the carpet wasn't clean and nothing was really cleaned in the whole month. I started having terrible nightmares until I realized that this reminded me very much of my childhood environment because I had a filthy room in the basement and wasn't allowed to go out except for school.

I stopped using my DBT skills when my mental state deteriorated. I became more agraphobic and agitated. I am back on track now but I realize that I must improve my DBT skills and force myself to use them even when I kind of lost my sense of reality.

I'm back on track but I thought I would actually lose my mind if the doctor told me he would have to put me in a cast for another six weeks. I couldn't see where you live Kimba but in my area there has been snowfall after snowfall making it impossible for me to leave my house. I would gladly go inpatient if I knew of a hospital that uses DBT in my area.

I had a great deal of stressors besides being housebound. My beloved fourteen year old dog needs to be put down but in my mental state I couldn't bear it. I am back to optimism and laughing again (and using my DBT thought log). I have two more weeks of very restricted activities but now that I am back on track I can do this. I still can't find it in me to put my dog down even though she is unable to walk, deaf and suffers from heart disease. She still wags her tail and seems happy. Sometimes I get stuck when I try to change my thoughts to something positive. I don't know how to turn my sad thoughts about my dog around to think something positive.

 

[Hashi]

Gloria, I'm so sorry about your dog.

Do you have to change the sad thoughts to something more positive at this point? It sounds like you'll need to grieve, and the challenge is to accept the sadness and take the best care of yourself that you can through that process.