Dealing With Old & New Trauma Alone In A New City.

[Pizza Weirdo]

Hello all. I'm here because I was sexually and physically abused throughout my childhood.

I'm now 23 years old, recently graduated college and moved to a new city where I don't know anyone. A month ago, I was drugged and sexually taken advantage of by a stranger at a bar. This has made my PTSD that I had been self-managing somewhat-okay for most of my life really blow up overnight. What was general anxiety and distrust has intensified into a real inability to function most days.

I'm seeking your advice because I don't have any strong relationships in this new city, so I'm without support overall, and I don't know what to do (and don't want to be all "HEY, WANNA HEAR ABOUT MY TRAUMA?" to people I've just met, but I feel like it's important to explain why I act sort of different in social interactions). I am seeing a therapist now, and was (until recently) romantically involved with someone who stopped seeing me because he was "unable to deal with my mental health". That, too, makes me afraid to open up to anyone here, since I don't have a strong foundation with them already, and it has me feeling very alone.

Any advice on how to open up to people without fear of judgment or abandonment would be greatly appreciated.

 

[therapybankrupt]

Welcome to the forum Pizza Weirdo. You are not alone. The people here are generally very nonjudgmental and understanding. Check out the wiki. It will help you with your PSTD journey to well being.

Tb

 

[Springer80]

Hi Pi-We (Is it ok to call you that, I'm a lazy typer and I think Pi-We is cute?!),

Welcome to the forum, people here are nice and I think you'll be able to get some support. Your situation sounds tough, just a new city on your own is difficult. Hang in there and glad your able to join.

S80 :hug:

 

[JessMar0126]

Hi Pi-We,
I was drugged too, on Feb 9th, when I was at a bar. I won't go into everything that happened t me. Needless to say I was quite traumatized, and I will never forget that day in my life.

I stopped drinking cold turkey. I actually had my first 4 beers this last Wed.
Along with giving up alcohol, I too have been seeing a therapist regularly. I normally see him one a month and I call him at least 3-4 times a week.

The no drinking aloud me to reflect on my life. Quite honestly, I have felt like a new person. Physically and mentally I feel healthier, and my relationships (Friends, family, potential partners) are healthier as well. This also helped me to deal with what happened me with a clear head and aloud me to process better.

In regards to meeting new people and developing relationships. I found that I was tending to do things more by myself. Mainly what I did is go to the casino and play BlackJack. Probably odd I know, given the environment. But 1., this aloud me to do something I love to do. 2. it's one of my stress relievers. 3. It put me in a social atmosphere, but only if I wanted to be social.
That was key for me, I could interact with other people at the BlackJack, but I didn't have to if I wasn't ready. In the beginning I was fairly mute, but after a 3 weeks or slow I started talking to people. It wasn't personal conversations, but it was conversations about the game. Once I took that step, I found that slowly I began to talk to people more on a deeper level. It was baby steps.

Abandonment with a spouse is a possibility regardless of your personal situation. I actually met somebody playing BlackJack and we got heavily involved in March. Guess what, he has PTSD. Now I am dealing with him dropping off the face of the earth the last 2 weeks. He was one of the first people I shared with what happened to me Feb 9th. Do I feel abandoned, HELL YES! Even so, rather than being negative about it, I am researching as much as I can on PTSD.

After what happened to me and giving up drinking, well it gave me a new perspective on life and how I handle things. I truly feel that it happened to now prepare with me this PTSD situation. So I guess what I am telling you is that you slowly have to work your way into socializing again and working on your fears. Find an activity where your at ease and slowly find your way again. Eventually your fears subside. I am not going to lie, they will always be there somewhere in your mind. It does get easier, as long as you find a healthy approach to deal with them.

I hope this helped you even if just in the littlest bit. Oh, and this site helps tremendously!

I hope things get better for you and I will keep you in my prayers.

Keep talking to your therapist. It's always good to find somebody to talk too that knows only what you tell them and has no judgment.

 

[Pizza Weirdo]

Pi-We IS really cute, that's funny!

I really appreciate all the kind words from you guys. I think I've known to expect it all to happen in baby steps, but it's hard not to want everything to be better immediately (of course, who wouldn't). So seeing you all reinforce that those good things will come with time is definitely helpful, and I'll try to keep my focus on short-term small goals for now rather than expecting an overnight fix. Thank you!