My husband wants me to call her and tell her, these things I can't, she wouldn't care she would just tell me how she how grateful I should have been for the scraps I was given. So I guess I will say it here.
Dear grandma, how dare you, how f*cking dare you lie to me and keep who my real family was from me. How dare you spend my who life telling me that no one wanted me so you were stuck raising me. You lie to me and told me my aunt wanted nothing to do with me, but you kept me from her. I lived 3 blocks from her when I was 19 and you told me she didn't want any contact with me. Well she tells me that was a lie. And guess what, I believe her.
I figured out you were a compulsive liar when I was in the 3rd grade and you told me another parent called and said I did something I knew I didn't do. In fact their son wasn't even there that day. There was no phone call, you made it up to have an excuse to punish me. It wasn't another kid making stuff up like I thought before, it was you. I never believed you after that day. Yeah, I played along with your lies when you would take money behind your husbands back to give to your drug addict kids, for the few scraps you would give me here and there to keep quite. I own that one.
f*ck you for the time I had to do a family tree for school and you told me I couldn't put anyone down but me because I didn't have family. How dare you not let me contact my mom's dad before he died because you were so afraid I would tell the truth about your f*cking sick pedophile son.
How dare you allow him to hurt me and tell me I was making it up, You tried to scare me by telling me how it destroyed another family. You coached me on what to say to the Dr. when you son gave me a black eye for fighting back. How you told me without my virginity I was worthless and no decent Christian man would want me.
How dare you never allow me to have any friends growing up, how dare you rip up my school papers so I would get into trouble so I didn't embarrass you. How dare you drill into my head that I was dumb, and couldn't go to college. How dare you never tell me I did something right. You told me everything I ever did wrong and wouldn't let me forget to this day that I couldn't cut in preschool, but you never told me what I did right. I never knew why you were punishing me by locking me in the shed again. People think I am weird because I carry gallons of water with me everywhere now, but I I will never be able to forget that thirst.
How day you give me syrup of ipecac when I had an upset stomach. I alway though I was a baby because I got sicker than most kids. Well I know what the stuff is now. I learned when I was 15.
f*ck you for never one giving me a hug. I no longer buy your "I don't like hugs" excuse, I was a child. Parents don't like changing diapers either but they do.
You successfully raised a wreck of a child who wants nothing more that to receive the love and experienced I should have had as a child. My husband thinks your the one to blame for all the other abuses that happened to me, well maybe he is right. I hope for your sake your religious beliefs are true, because that means god will judge you, and it won't be pretty.
Dear grandma, how dare you, how f*cking dare you lie to me and keep who my real family was from me. How dare you spend my who life telling me that no one wanted me so you were stuck raising me. You lie to me and told me my aunt wanted nothing to do with me, but you kept me from her. I lived 3 blocks from her when I was 19 and you told me she didn't want any contact with me. Well she tells me that was a lie. And guess what, I believe her.
I figured out you were a compulsive liar when I was in the 3rd grade and you told me another parent called and said I did something I knew I didn't do. In fact their son wasn't even there that day. There was no phone call, you made it up to have an excuse to punish me. It wasn't another kid making stuff up like I thought before, it was you. I never believed you after that day. Yeah, I played along with your lies when you would take money behind your husbands back to give to your drug addict kids, for the few scraps you would give me here and there to keep quite. I own that one.
f*ck you for the time I had to do a family tree for school and you told me I couldn't put anyone down but me because I didn't have family. How dare you not let me contact my mom's dad before he died because you were so afraid I would tell the truth about your f*cking sick pedophile son.
How dare you allow him to hurt me and tell me I was making it up, You tried to scare me by telling me how it destroyed another family. You coached me on what to say to the Dr. when you son gave me a black eye for fighting back. How you told me without my virginity I was worthless and no decent Christian man would want me.
How dare you never allow me to have any friends growing up, how dare you rip up my school papers so I would get into trouble so I didn't embarrass you. How dare you drill into my head that I was dumb, and couldn't go to college. How dare you never tell me I did something right. You told me everything I ever did wrong and wouldn't let me forget to this day that I couldn't cut in preschool, but you never told me what I did right. I never knew why you were punishing me by locking me in the shed again. People think I am weird because I carry gallons of water with me everywhere now, but I I will never be able to forget that thirst.
How day you give me syrup of ipecac when I had an upset stomach. I alway though I was a baby because I got sicker than most kids. Well I know what the stuff is now. I learned when I was 15.
f*ck you for never one giving me a hug. I no longer buy your "I don't like hugs" excuse, I was a child. Parents don't like changing diapers either but they do.
You successfully raised a wreck of a child who wants nothing more that to receive the love and experienced I should have had as a child. My husband thinks your the one to blame for all the other abuses that happened to me, well maybe he is right. I hope for your sake your religious beliefs are true, because that means god will judge you, and it won't be pretty.
