Relationship Dear Sufferer Of Ptsd...

[mixtapeheartache]

Nicolette, your patience is astounding. I don't really NEED the pots and pans, I can always by new ones, I suppose.

I am reading this great book called "When Someone You Love Suffers from Posttraumatic Stress: What to Expect and What You Can Do."

Very insightful so far.

I went to the councillor today. She think I should contact her and be kind but assertive, and really be okay with her simply not "being into this" and ready to move and and think more about myself than the other.

A challenge for someone with codependency tendencies and ample empathy, but will try and do it. Focus on myself--- the rest will follow, apparently.

Thanks for also clarifying the semantics-- my councillor also referred to it as a mental illness.

Cheers everyone, and thank you so much!

 

[BewitchedBewildered]

I know this is a little off topic, but I know my guy has told me about his sometimes issue with phones and I have read about that in several PTSD books. Can anyone explain the issue with phones or is it just the contact in general? Just trying to understand.

 

[mixtapeheartache]

Phones, like not wanting to have one or text or talk?

 

[BewitchedBewildered]

Phones, like not wanting to text or talk

 

[mixtapeheartache]

It's something I noticed dwindle rapidly-- forgetting or leaving phone at home and going out. Can't say if its "normal", but its happening to me.

 

[nursenurse]

It's an issue with my guy, as in does he remember to use it, now that he has it? Well, now he is learning to love that phone because my need is communication. It took awhile, it isn't perfect, but he is trying. I swear to God I saw a porker with wings in the sky - 2 calls in 1 day. Just about needed some nitro spray :D

 

[safenow]

Here is my .02 cents on this topic.

I hate phones. I am a person with PTSD from multiple traumas. I do not like getting calls, nor making them. Those who love me and have stood by me through thick and thin know that, so they don't take offense when I don't call them. Now I must admit, those a few and far between. LOL. I think I have 2 friends. I have a lot of acquaintances, but they are different.

When I am doing okay, I have to contact them and let them know it was not personal, it is just the way I am. Some understand, some do not. Either way is okay.

I was very touched by your letter. If your lady doesn't accept it, then she is in pretty bad shape. So don't give up. Just don't text or call. Let her know you need your pans, then don't push. Allow her the time she needs to get it together.

Anthony is a very lucky man to have Nicolette. I wish I'd had someone who loved me enough to be that way. sigh. Oh well.

Good luck.
safenow