Define self harm

[Sally sue]

I have no idea where this goes, so move as needed.

I just wonder what defines self harm? Recently I've been wondering if scratching, pinching, etc is self harm, and whether these things are exceptable/helpful /bad if you leave no marks, and don't draw blood.

Weirdly, I guess I was thinking that it would help me be more in the present and feel better...my arm is pretty red now :(.

Deep breathing, etc just doesn't seem to work for me, especially when I'm driving...now I just feel guilty and stupid :(.

 

[Queen Boudica]

Yes that is self-harm. Just because it doesn't leave a scar doesn't mean it is not self-harm. I mean I had bulimia that did not leave any marks still self-harm.

No don't think it is helpful. It shows you are turning your pain inwards and hurting yourself instead of finding more positive ways to channel it. You are causing yourself pain and inducing adrenaline to help you cope and maybe that is how you needed to before but adrenaline is a killer.

No need to feel stupid. I scratched and picked for years and did not associate it with self-harm. And no need to feel guilty, you are trying to cope in the best way you know how but there are better ways, just I think it is addictive like a

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I think that scratching/pinching/etc can be seen as self harm. But, I don't want you to feel guilty or stupid for it! Sometimes I think we turn toward a coping mechanism that we think will work and later end up regretting it. I've had on and off self harm issues for years and still catch myself doing self harm things like hitting myself or smacking myself. I know its not good for me as it can quickly spiral into more (for me, since I'm in recovery).

I think that if you are trying to bring yourself into the present by physically feeling things, you could try to hold ice or go out into the cold (many people find cold to be grounding, and I find it to be comforting as well).

But please don't feel bad!

 

[Friday]

It's not the marks that define harm... I can choke someone to death and not leave a mark. Not even antemortem bruising. If I don't want to leave petechia (little burst blood vessels in the eyes and skin), I can use a similar hold and go for the carotid. Either way, dead is dead. And probably the most extreme version of harm. Marks or no. So marks are ruled out.

Meanwhile I can be a Clutz and stand up under a cupboard and split my scalp open. Am I harmed? Yup. But that's an accident. Not deliberately doing myself an injury for the natural high. So the level of harm isn't exactly a good tell, either.

I have to be careful with sports. When I'm doing well, the one consistent thing I have going is that Im getting a lesser version of that natural high, each day. Sports wouldn't normally be considered self harm. But when I'm doing badly? Watch out! I will run my joints into balloons of swollen and torn soft tissue. I push myself to the point of injury, and beyond. For that natural high. Physical pain trumping emotional pain + endorphins and other happy chemicals flooding my system. That's self harm. At least in my lexicon. And then I end up in a dual fight : PTSD v Adrenaline Junkie unhealthy version. Fighting both impulses, instead of one helping to calm and moderate the other.

Physical sensation to stay grounded is my number 1 standby.
Adrenaline Junkie of the healthy version, the sparkle & joy of life.

But there is simply too much of a good thing. When it stops being a good thing and starts becoming a harmful thing.

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

Definitely self-harm. I also used to think that breathing didn't work for me, until I got an app for it.
The app really works because a voice (or a sound, like a singing bowl sound) tells me to breathe in, breathe out, and then you can expand the time of the breath you take.

Also would be an idea to consider getting out of the situation that makes you that anxious.