Relationship Denial

[CarebearL]

My sufferer made plans to see me on Friday night and then cancelled on Friday morning. This is after three weeks of one text a day and only because I initiate it to check on him. What happened to the sweet charming guy that was there three weeks ago. I am going on holidays for two weeks and had hoped to see him before I left. I don't know how other supporters deal with the sudden change from everyday normal living relationship to nothing it really upsetting me.

 

[lanagirl28]

I am dealing with a similar thing, however my fiance and I were in a functional (for the most part, aside from his normal PTSD symptoms - normal little arguments), I went on a trip to see family and we were just fine, and then all the sudden he started hardly responding to texts and has completely detached. Called me the day before I was supposed to come home and broke off our engagement and our relationship. He has completely shut down and shut out his family too. I am not sure, it seems like we are in similar boats... it is definitely upsetting for such drastic changes to take place that leave us bewildered.

 

[CarebearL]

I feel for you J. Have you thought about how you are going to deal with it when he makes contact again?, I have read quite a lot of the posts now and realize I have to make a decision because this will be how it is and I am not sure I am strong enough.

 

[lanagirl28]

I am still so confused about everything, as I'm sure you can relate to! All that I can plan for at this point is that if he does make contact again and wants to work on things, I would need to know that he was getting help, because I'm not sure if I'd be strong enough to say no, and I'm also not strong enough to go through this again!

In my situation, I have to see him because all my things are still there and since we were living together I want to make sure I get the little things that matter to me... so I'll have to go back. I can't decide when though because I don't know how much time to give him or even myself.

 

[CarebearL]

Your situation sounds so much harder than mine and i can only imagine how much you are hurting. I honestly think I am going through a grieving process for the of the future I had imagined. It was a fog of anger, sadness, despair, guilt and doubt but it seems like I am coming out the other side. I am taking sleeping tablets for the first time in my life as I lost the ability to stop the endless thoughts and sleep which impacted on everything else in my life. It so hard knowin how to move forward when you are unsure where your sufferer is really at. For me it has come down to looking after and healing myself and when I'm feeling whole again I will deal with him. Something I see now is its ok to be confused and cry and be unsure and feel everything that goes with it leads to the acceptance and hopefully the right frame of mind to make decisions from. I wish there was something I could say to you that could help but I am a newbie too so all I can do is hope that for you it gets a little bit easier each day. Hugs.