General Despair

[Sweetpea76]

I apologize @Mr Laurie if my wording seemed insensitive. I've been with a combat vet for years and know that his PTSD is beyond his control, so I would never want to imply that any sufferer could "suck it up" or deal with it. My intention was to ask @Sighs if her vet's stressors were getting the better of him, as in overwhelming him. In other words, is his stress cup is overflowing because his partner is out of town?

 

[Deleted member 20280]

@Sweetpea76 I have no issue with that at all, the issue was the choice of wordning only as I posted I totally understood the sentiment behind the wording and no issue with that is was the wording only. Thankyou for explaining your intention but really there is no need, honetstly, I took umbrance as I explained in my reply, I responded to Lemontree's thread regarding calling Combat Veterans only. The matter is dealt with and I offer a :hug: if you accept.

Kindest Regards

Laurie

 

[Sweetpea76]

I gladly accept hugs anytime! :hug:

 

[Sighs]

Sigh! And now he's gone from sad to angry. He's yelled at me down the phone til I was trembling and trying not to cry. Called me back almost straight away and said he wasn't angry with me and didn't mean to yell at me. Then called back and because I couldn't work out the answer to his question (I was driving my daughter's car and she doesn't have hands free and I was having trouble concentrating on what he was asking me) yelled at me again. He hung up on me. Haven't heard from him since. Wonder if he will still pick me up from the airport or whether I need to look at booking a bus. Do I text him and offer to book the bus to save him the drive? Arrrgghhh Hate it when he's like this.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Can you get transport at the last minute? Or do you need to book in advance?

Blerg... that hamster wheel gets squeaky sometimes :(

 

[Sighs]

Sigh! If I don't book in advance it might be booked out. There is only one bus on a Friday. I honestly have no idea how he'll react if I text him something like "You sound a bit stressed. How about I get the bus to [small town an hour from us] so you don't have to drive to [major town 2.5hours from us]? The other thing is that the bus stop is not at the airport - and I have no idea how to get from the airport to the bus stop - I guess there might be a shuttle... A taxi would be expensive. Oh - bugger it - he's the one who decided to drive me there in the first place - I would have been happier to drive myself and leave my car at the airport. SIGH!

 

[Deleted member 28812]

Essentially the trigger which put him into this downward spiral was a conversation with a neighbour who treated him like like he was a charity case. Doesn't go down well with a man who is used to command.

That sucks. Could you talk to the neighbour to stop treating him like this? I had a word with the neighbour. A not very friendly word if it had to be.
I mean I guess he ment no harm but treating him like a charity case was so wrong!

At the same time I think your guys prejudiced attitude towards civvies is a bit over the top and not good for him if it keeps him from volunteering and volunteering could be good for him.

I would use a taxi.

 

[Sighs]

Lol - don't worry - he already told the neighbour exactly where he could stick his charity!

I wish his attitude was over the top but he tries to engage with / relate to civilians and they let him down. So its hard to encourage him to give them more chances...

I still haven't heard from him so I haven't booked anything. If he doesn't show up to collect me I will get a taxi or a shuttle to the bus stop and get the bus. Sigh!

 

[Purplemunchkin]

This is where individuality comes in, and how every person reacts differently.

I would send hubby a text confirming the details of when he needed to pick me up. I wouldn't mention alternatives as this would mean he had to make a decision, which would stress him out more than following through with the original plan of picking me up.

He might not be talking to me when he gets there, but he would show up. If I gave him an alternative he would probably be offended that I didn't trust him to pick me up so would tell me to get the bus, but then still turn up to collect me and be really pissed off when I've actually done what he said and got the bus.

But your guy might be the complete opposite?!

I would offer to give you a lift, but I think it's a little far... :p

 

[Sighs]

Thanks for the offer @Purplemunchkin! ;)

Yeah, I figured a change of plans - or the option of it - might actually add stress rather than remove it.

I think he's gone hunting as I haven't heard from him. Hopefully being out in the bush calms and soothes him.

I'm trying very hard not to take it personally and have sent him a text saying "Hope your afternoon was better. Love you.".

 

[Deleted member 28812]

@Purplemunchkin is right. Calling a taxi might make him feel useless. I did not think of this!

Why did civvies let him down? All of them?

 

[Sighs]

Civvies say things like "We'll order it for you today and it will be here on Tues." - then they forget to order it for a couple of days, or the packers don't send it on time or the courier doesn't bring it on time or when it gets to us its not the right thing etc etc

Civvies complain about being hungry or tired. Civvies don't have each others backs - in fact they often stab each other in the back!

They say "We'll have to get together sometime" but never actually invite you over. They tell him that they totally understand his PTSD. Or that he should just get over it. Or that he must be pleased he doesn't have to go to war anymore. Or that he is 'so lucky' that he doesn't have to work anymore.

Sigh! I could go on all night...