Sufferer Desperate But Hopeful

[Flong]

Hi everyone!
I'm really glad to be here, and it's nice to meet you!
I'm finally tackling this issue head on, after suffering with it for two and a half years.
PTSD was caused by several major events that happened right around the same time in 2012, a few prolonged. I think I might have been okay eventually, but then in September 2014 the worst of them happened. My once strong system went into complete collapse. I ended up in the ER with my organs shutting down and doctors not understanding why. Of course I understand exactly why now...there was nothing wrong with my body...it was actually doing exactly what it's designed to do. But now, the freeze/collapse is still present over two years later, which is a major problem. It feels like my life is over.
But am now completely determined to get back a semblance of the life I was once really happy with. I can't live like this any longer, and I won't. I'm doing everything in my power to get my life back, to restore calm and confidence that I once had. I am willing to put in the work, but I need to know how.
The "life" I'm living now is a constant 24/7 nightmare. I'm sure many of you completely understand this feeling. I'm just here to contribute whatever I can, learn whatever I can, and hopefully document my recovery.
I am hopeful that I don't have to live like this for the rest of my life.

 

[Bliss]

Welcome, I am pretty new here too, it is helping alot! Just reading is comforting:) hope it helps u too

 

[ladee]

Welcome! That determination will help get you down this healing path.
You didn't mention if you had a Therapist. Hope you do or are seeking one.
This is a hard journey and we need all the support we can rally.
Glad you are here.

 

[Flong]

YES, as of two weeks ago I have a therapist, and it's very much what I need. She specializes in exactly this, and has been the best decision since I started seeking real help.
This issue is more complex than I realized initially after realizing what I was suffering from had a name. The solutions are complex as well, but I have hope that everything is going to work. I don't mind putting in the time and effort, I'm up for it. I've had enough of living like this.

 

[Flong]

Oh, and also you're going to hear me plugging a book here and there because it's the most incredible thing I've read concerning PTSD by far, and I'm only halfway through it.
If you're suffering from PTSD in any shape or form, this book is going to give you the science behind what is happening to your system in fine detail. Later chapters deal with treatments.
It's written by Bessel Van Der Kolk, who is one of the first doctors to discover and work with people suffering from PTSD as an illness, and pushed for recognition since the 1970s until present day. PTSD wasn't always a thing recognized by the medical community! This book has helped me understand exactly why I feel the way I do in ways I never imagined possible. It has already helped me more than everything else I've read combined. I hope it works the same for anyone who decided to pick it up.