Justmehere
Sponsor
Depression is showing up as my struggling to not be tense, grouchy and irritable. I'm stuffing it with people, but also taking longer and longer to try to put on a decent attitude. It's beginning to leak out in a few spaces. I have no frustration tolerance. Not really. On the outside? looks like it. Inside, it's ugly. And when I'm alone, it's bad.
Sometimes it's said that those who are mad need to get sad, and vice versa. Maybe. Sadness seems better. But what I feel a lot is shame. Humiliation. Self disgust. I think it's the anger turned in... so I don't push people away, but it's becoming harder and harder. I'm failing. Lots of normal supports are gone or missing because of the pandemic and other factors.
Not sure the way out. I can't take meds due to health condition being treated. I'm on waitlists for therapy, but every time an intake comes up, they say they can process trauma but not help with this. I am super unwilling to process trauma yet again right now. (Been there done that and really done with it right now.) Processing the trauma didn't help with this.
Stuck and looking for ideas.
Sometimes it's said that those who are mad need to get sad, and vice versa. Maybe. Sadness seems better. But what I feel a lot is shame. Humiliation. Self disgust. I think it's the anger turned in... so I don't push people away, but it's becoming harder and harder. I'm failing. Lots of normal supports are gone or missing because of the pandemic and other factors.
Not sure the way out. I can't take meds due to health condition being treated. I'm on waitlists for therapy, but every time an intake comes up, they say they can process trauma but not help with this. I am super unwilling to process trauma yet again right now. (Been there done that and really done with it right now.) Processing the trauma didn't help with this.
Stuck and looking for ideas.