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Destroying Our Past

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Jimmy1

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I thought that as one of the welcome threads had been hijacked and had become popular I would start a thread here.

I got rid of all my old uniforms which I regret, although I still think I have one downstairs somewhere in a foot locker. My medals were unceremoniously thrown in the back corner of a packing box at one stage.

The problem is that all the hate in the world in what we did and the destruction of all those things that remind us of what we were apart of, will not make life any easier.
It has taken me four years just to go to an ANZAC day dawn service, and I did not even go to the remembrance day service on Friday. I still hurt too.

But, when I look back, my mother and father (if he were alive) would be proud of my service, my children are proud of my service and I will have something for them to remember by.
Destroying my stuff will not bring anyone back or ease any of the hurt.

When I joined at a young age, I had pride and honor and wanted to pin the medals to my chest.

This is just my opinon
 
My 5 yr old came back from school the other day with a handmade US Flag. She asked a few simple questions about what a vet is and what it means. I got choked up on it. Mixed feelings. Part of me is proud and the other is wanting to keep her from all of it. She is a lot like me. and I could see her thinking military service...be like dad and win his approval. I really dont want that for her. I want her to find her own path in life not try to follow me hoping I approve.
I got rid of everything for me but it will maybe keep more of these questions at bay. I hope so.
 
I regret junking stuff. No I don't want to live in a museum but I should've kept more.
Today, of all days (Remembrance Sunday), I realised that.
For the sake of those I knew who are gone, I should've kept more of the mutual memories. Like Jimmy says, erasing it doesn't bring people back or help the pain. So I've stopped trying to wipe out the past. One day I might even be able to look it in the face again.
 
Having been to the Remembrance service today, I have actually thought about replacing my medals that I destroyed, so I have just been on the net having a look. Damn they are expensive. so I might just do the ribbons and leave it at that. all the Pics and Kit can`t be replaced, so I have to get used to and make do with the few pictures and my Oath of Allegiance that are left.
 
I too keep all my stuff locked up in a closet. Every once and a while I look through the boxes. At times I want to remember and at times not. This past Friday- 11-11-11 - I was certain that my school would do some type of ceremony as they had in the past. I readied myself this year for the stream of questions and found that I had the old pride...but for some reason no ceremony was held. The school did nothing, opting instead to tell students to attend the ceremony that the city was having.....And this school has 3 of us as principals - who are military veterans. (1 USAF, 1 USMC, and 1 USA -> me)
 
A lot of memories, faces and stuff came flooding back today.
Yeah, I know, 'no shit, Sherlock?'
But it just goes to prove you can't erase it anyway. The stuff I got rid of was probably useful as a collection of place-markers, labels sort of. Might've helped organising recollection a bit better. Not to mention respecting those who are gone.
Jimmy said a while ago that the memories are locked away in safe-deposit boxes and somehow we've got to open them up and deal with them.
Maybe that's the trick. Trying to wipe the past or run away from it hasn't worked for me, I feel like a stupid rabbit trying to out-run a truck. Going to catch you sooner or later.
 
Well Margaret took me to ANZAC day services this year and I wore my medals and Army Combat Badge. You see over here they have the ICB for all front line infantry and now as everyone is exposed with modern day fighting, they have the ACB. Anyway I went. I felt uncomfortable as the service was out of whack. But I made it.

I found two uniforms downstairs, my desert cammo and my standard cammo uniforms. I can't believe I threw out my mess uniform and my general duties uniform. I found my medals and the miniatures for the mess jacket.
I also found a shit load of photos in a box. I have not gone through them yet.
Well they are all going to stay where they are. The only thing I might do is put everything in that foot locker, that way when I am gone my kids can have it.
 
I still have the Mess Dress and my 3As. I should sell that Mess Dress. It's worth a bit. My Mini's are around here somewheres, the Medals themselves I wore on Friday. I was in a smaller city this year. No Reservists were out and the Veteran's were few and fart between. First guy a ran into was all excited to show me his Uncles Medals, which he was wearing with pride. Congratulate me, I left it alone and minded my own business. I'll be donating my Medals to the Regiment in my will. No one will ever wear mine but me.
 
I don't have a shred left, not even a dog dish left to steal (Dan!). And I don't know if I'll ever tell my daughters about things. Almost doesn't feel right to sully their minds with something Papa did so many years ago. Have not really told my wife so much either. As said before, I've got a worn out box of remnants that I've been lugging around the world. Far too painful to go through, but I'll sort it out one day. Maybe Remembrance Day 2012.
 
Got drunk as a skunk and built a bon fire in the back yard. First to go in was my dress blues (sans ribbons, I suffered through too many AA barrages to dump them), then fatigues, then this, then, to make me sure that I would suffer for the rest of my life, my notebook with all the songs I had written when I was in Nam. Man, I put my soul into those lyrics. Perhaps not one of them were worthy of listening to by others but they were what I was back then and back then I was a warrior.

Sarg
 
Hey all, my first post. Its been almost 30 years and never have talked about it to anyone. Not my ex-wives not my children. Dreams I had so many years ago are now back and are as bad as ever. Quote from above "Jimmy said a while ago that the memories are locked away in safe-deposit boxes and somehow we've got to open them up and deal with them." I agree I have locked the memories away for so long, but they always have been there and now I'm dealing with them again, and again and again. I have medals left and photos everything else has been long gone. The photo's are locked away in my safe-deposit box that I'm now scared to open.
 
Hello Ernie, if it's time to start talking then this isn't too bad a place. Welcome.
There is a hell of a lot of experience here, a lot of the guys and girls listen really well.
So you can say it all.
 
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