Wow. You said some good stuff. Tough decisions and tough to come to.
When I was in my twenties I used and abused and ran with "the crowd" (even though I thought not).
I couldn't understand why my life was so full of unfortunate, crappy circumstances that always happened to "me".
Why "me"?? Lord !!
And when I didn't change(didn't want to), didn't see(didn't want to), what "I" was really causing in my life, I became very very confused. Life surely didn't seem fair to me and I thought I had tried everything. And really - I was so baffled I thought I just wanted to die and all that miserable crap to end. But there really was/is/are many many great paths and experiences.
It took a lot of hard self honesty and a lot of hard recovery. But, WOW !! What a difference it has made. And I found some good supportive people over the years too.
And when I started to see positive results and changes - MAN I wanted it all NOW !! Now it can't change fast enough !!
So learning to live in the present - is literally one of the concepts I cling to today. It saved my life. And sure helps with my sanity and serenity. I do isolate. I do get very lonely. I am working on that process, but today that seems very manageable. Don't have all the answers, but I trust that what I need will be revealed to me when the time is right.
A beautiful hand painted copy of the serenity prayer that my wife made for me 40 years ago hangs near my desk - it's so true.
But, by and large today I am comfortable, still growing, and finding ways to make life quite meaningful and enjoyable. And at 60 I backpack, canoe, am starting a new business venture trying to improve workplace conditions here in the states, and life is as good as I allow it to be. On a minute by minute basis.
You sound good. You sound like you have good sound decisions and good direction. Just my opinion. But what do I know, eh?
I hope things go well for you and life is a great journey.
Feel free to message me any time.
