Relationship Did I do the right thing by breaking up with him?

[Sweetpea76]

Exactly... feelings vs. actions.

PTSD makes people feel certain ways. It doesn’t “make” them do anything physically. Name calling, intimidation, threats, breaking up your belongings or house, DV... that’s all unacceptable behavior. Feeling rage is one thing. People choose the way they respond to rage though.

 

[Freida]

PTSD does not give us a pass to make someone our personal pinata. I don't care what the issue is - threats of violence have no excuse. Do I get angry enough to want to smash someone's face in? Yep. Am I going to threaten to do it? No.

If his PTSD is that out of control then it is up to HIM to do the work to fix it-- not up to you to accept it as an excuse for his behavior

 

[OrangeJulius]

So just for my own understanding, what's considered "acceptable" in terms of anger as a PTSD symptom? Because I know it definitely is a symptom for many people. So where's the line in general?

Like others have said....same line as with anybody else. When you are at your most angry, what do you do with that feeling?

My boyfriend is angry all the time. I have never once been yelled at or called a name or threatened. He might close drawers harder than usual....but nothing is ever damaged or thrown during his tantrums. If I am around he mumbles stuff under his breath angrily but I imagine he probably yells those when he's alone.

Feeling angry is not an excuse to take anything out on you. Even if you are the one he's angry with. It's generally best for everyone to step back until everybody is calmer and capable of having a discussion.

 

[TruthSeeker]

My sufferer and I were in an argument when he told me he wanted to "smash my face into the pavement." I broke up with him right then and there as I feel like he just went way too far, even if he was just "talking out of anger." Did I overreact or make the right choice?

Yep.....you were threatened with bodily harm. Don't look back, he's not respectful, emotionally in control of himself, and it's not your job to fix him. Way to go!

 

[Cloudymorning]

Thank you all for your support. The cherry on top is he's now telling me I'm overreacting and that he didn't actually say that...? I'm just losing more respect for him by the minute.

You get bonus points for recognizing that he's gaslighting you.