Did talking with therapist about suicide help?

[Louise87]

Hi

I’m wondering if anyone has experience talking about suicidal thoughts with their therapist, and if they found it to be helpful. I’m really having a hard time, and I trust my therapist and want to ask for her help, but at the same time, I’m having a hard time imagining how she could help me. I’m just wondering if anyone has found it to be helpful and would be willing to share.

Thanks for thinking about it.

 

[blackemerald1]

Hi @Louise87 - yes have discussed this quite a few times with psydoc and T. Physical, psychological and even philosophical aspects.

I think though it was well established that I wasn't currently suicidal. So they knew I wasn't trying to tell them I was actively suicidal...not even in a round-about way... which I can do for other subjects I am wary of touching on.

They know me well enough to differentiate when I am and I am not suicidal too. I guess there is a lot of trust going on with this conversation and these people. So it was understood I was wanting to sort out the background, secret stuff - the taboo. To take it out and shake it all about really.

Do you have that kind of trust relationship with your T?

The discussions are very soothing and assisted me. I still do discuss it further from time to time when I feel I am needing to share with someone whom I trust and who doesn't shrink away from the topic and say dumb things.

If it was more openly discussed there would be less of it?

 

[ms spock]

Yes I have and yes it did!
I also rang the Suicide Callback Line in Australia, they are really good for me.

 

[whiteraven]

I have talked with my therapist extensively about suicide, primarily because I recognize I have an intense fear of death (and don't want to actually die, but just be rid of the pain). It's helping me with the fear of death, but it really hasn't stopped the suicidal thoughts.

 

[hithere]

It helped me but my therapist had skill in that area. He helped me think it out, what core thoughts I had, what is realistic and what isn't, Basically is there some dark lie I'm believing and if so what might be me truthful-- also brought it brought it back to what helped in the past to get me through. It was very helpful. I use that model ever since and it helps lessen such intensities when it ges really bad. I think it depends on the therapist though. some cannot handle it. For example my therapist did tell me that they "worry" about patients with SI to the point of not sleeping... so I imagine some therapists may have their own "stress cup" too full to help with the seriousness of SI--- just my thoughts anyway.

 

[scout86]

Yes, and yes. And we still have "let's talk about suicide" days, even though it's not the same kind of issue it was.

 

[Louise87]

Thank you all for responding. I appreciate you taking the time to help me out.

I guess what I’m struggling with is...if I were really at the point that I were going to kill myself, I wouldn’t be talking to my therapist about it, I would just go do it. So I’m not at that place, so what’s the point in talking to her about it? I realize that I’m skipping over lots of steps here, and I guess I’m just trying to imagine what those steps might be and how they might help me. I’ve been seeing my therapist about a year and a half and I’m still extremely private and closed off with my thoughts and feelings a lot of the time, so this kind of thinking is sort of a common pattern for me.

 

[blackemerald1]

So if I am not actively suicidal then that is possibly (for me) the best time to discuss suicide.

I discuss it in the third person with my T. But of course all of the feelings etc., are absolutely mine. It's just easier to attribute them to 'another' I suppose and we both know this.

I look at it a little like a pantry cupboard of food. In the good times I stock up on essentials in case there is a lean time. I can sort of do this with SI - I discuss the feelings and thoughts I know I can have from my safe position. I can question how I get there, what can tip me into it, what can hold me back and why, what are known triggers. Who can help me. How can I help myself. What is the point when I say something to get help. Who would find me, what would they think and have to do etc., etc., I really do get into the nitty gritty stuff. It's not at all pretty.

Other conversations I have had are about the legality of it. Euthanasia. Accidental suicides, murders/suicide pacts.

I just find that these conversation/discussions help me to see that when it's happening I can do something about it. I have verbalised the spiral and I can jam on the brakes, put myself into lock-down and look into that pantry for evidence that I have been to this lonely place before and even more importantly... I have returned alive.

 

[EveHarrington]

Do you believe that help is only available to people once they reach crisis levels?

 

[scout86]

So I’m not at that place, so what’s the point in talking to her about it?

The point it to avoid getting to that place. And to have some options, other than suicide, available if you do.

 

[ButterflyBean]

QPR: Question. Persuade. Refer! It’s simple...

QPR Institute | Practical and Proven Suicide Prevention Training

 

[loui50]

I've spoken to my t about suicide while in crisis and while not in crisis. She was very helpful. It isnt a subject to avoid.

We have discussed voluntary and involuntary inpatient. We've discussed emergency plans. You should definitely talk about it. Have a plan.

Your t isn't going to react with any type of judgement. Please talk about it.