Research Did Your Ptsd Sufferer Come Back After Their Bail Out? Tell Your Story Please

[lostforgottensoul]

Id have to agree with you all. Im a sufferer and left my ex because he was abusive. When we tried it again he didnt change the fundlemental things he needed to so i said no, and that was that.

If i were him I would stop trying to predict and start asking myself "what can I do better?" How can I support better? Obviously any relationship is a two way street but all I can control is me. Yes, its nice to understand but so many variables and too many balls in the air and most you dont have control over. You know?

Id ask myself "if they come back, what can I do to make it a better place to come back to?"

 

[lostforgottensoul]

It's not fair to discuss him when he's not here to defend himself,

I kind of wonder if it was the reason SHE left.

I agree with both of these points and he can still lurk not signed on which is why i put my last comments as i did. Hopefully if he is lurking he will look at what he can do to make it a better place to come back to and changing himself so that she will want to come back.

 

[Olivia2016]

I have bailed. I've bailed twice and am fighting another bail. The first time I bailed I ran 2000 miles away. I was i...

KC, thank you for sharing. You describe it very similar to my husband's description: he also says that he feels like his body is acting independently of himself and he is not in control. I am sorry to hear how much you are suffering. I just want to share the supporter's point of view: we don't feel that our PTSD partners are "not good enough", all we want with all our hearts is to be included and to be able to help, which are not options in these cases. All this "not good enough" stuff is in your heads only, not in ours. In my opinion, the best you, the sufferers, could do (but probably unable to) would be to sit down, talk about the situation, and find solutions that give you solitude and isolation that you desire without abandoning your partners completely. The abandonment and lack of communication are the most damaging feelings for us that bring a lot of suffering and stress, not coping with the partner's PTSD when they are around. I wish the best to you and your family.

 

[Tinyflame]

That is kind of you @Olivia2016 to say.

Best wishes.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I just want to share the supporter's point of view: we don't feel that our PTSD partners are "not good enough", all we want with all our hearts is to be included and to be able to help, which are not options in these cases.

You speak for all supporters? I have a habit of speaking for all sufferers sometimes (though, in my opinion, there are things we share, I shouldnt do that).

All this "not good enough" stuff is in your heads only, not in ours. I

Really? Because those are the exact words my ex said to me, along with he is sick of putting up with my issues. Those were his exact words.

the best you, the sufferers, could do (but probably unable to) would be to sit down, talk about the situation, and find solutions that give you solitude and isolation that you desire without abandoning your partners completely.

This i agree with and is the sort of "fire drill" I spoke of earlier.