shatter eyes
Diamond Member
I read your share.
Welcome and i agree with others it is a big step in the right direction.
You wanted to know if there is somebody who would know the gang life. I will say yes I do.
I can tell you are excited to share some proud highlights or moments of your gang life and the luxuries. Koodos to you for being proud of running 10 blocks, taking 4 shells close to meeting mr. Grim, later becoming captain to PCP high lows robbing car jacking to you owning houses and couple of cars while dodging taxes case.
You got two kids to pursue your own further healing is an anchor.
What has helped me is:
Remind myself what lessons i have learned.
My fortunes are of empathy and insight from life as a gang member, not from monies/materials. Having been a gang member created a deeper sense of how community plays a pivotal role of society and why voting is important.
Anyone can pull a trigger but it takes a certain caliber of person to put the guns down and walk away.
Walking away for me meant I donated all of my belongings first. For me to find myself and the problems within I had to strip the exterior. It was a slow process but it was easier in my soul because I knew by giving away the luxuries to charity I was shedding my exterior while fantasizing how another person would be coming across Versace Dolce Moschino etc Dunhill goodies for cheap or even free. I asked myself who am I? who would I be? The materials only distracted my return to innocence. It is quite impossible or fkn difficult to maintain larger items like cars without doing side jobs or running gigs.
Whether you have toes in or both feet out I would share my voice to you that you are human.
Longing and reminescing the past gloom and glamour happens and it will fade. The glamour is really not glamourous. There is no Ghetto Fab. Families get destroyed. When one smokes or gets smoked out it is their whole family that deals with the tragic trauma.
There is a writer by the name of Ryan Gaddis. You may want to check him out. Another author is Levine and his book is called Dharma Punx.
I read Dharma Punx and though it was not anywhere close to history I felt validation of how this kid landed into a crew.
We try to find a haven where we can speak share and allow our vulnerabilities to be vouched by another that we are no less of a man without the masks/materials. There is no gangster anomynous. It is a lonlier road that is true. However, shed the layers, lighten the load, learn to listen the heavy heart beats - what is it saying? Your childrens heart beat? What are they saying, what song are they singing to you? I dont have any kids but I hear a child's heart song has the power to empower parents to change. A super natural force.. ya dawg like sum trippy sh1t. Kids got that bass in chest.
We both Child Soldiers.
Childhood robbed by circumstances there nobody to blame for what we saw or done. All we can do is learn to extract the experience into lessons, morals, etc. Enter "normal" life little by little, take the bus and ponder, walk the streets without fighting, and try to engage a community or charity.
Hanging banging slanging flapping jacking macking (some pimping) flipping sipping tripping dipping comes a fork in the road: Quiting or RIPping.
Welcome to your new gang at MyPTSD.
Welcome and i agree with others it is a big step in the right direction.
You wanted to know if there is somebody who would know the gang life. I will say yes I do.
I can tell you are excited to share some proud highlights or moments of your gang life and the luxuries. Koodos to you for being proud of running 10 blocks, taking 4 shells close to meeting mr. Grim, later becoming captain to PCP high lows robbing car jacking to you owning houses and couple of cars while dodging taxes case.
You got two kids to pursue your own further healing is an anchor.
What has helped me is:
Remind myself what lessons i have learned.
My fortunes are of empathy and insight from life as a gang member, not from monies/materials. Having been a gang member created a deeper sense of how community plays a pivotal role of society and why voting is important.
Anyone can pull a trigger but it takes a certain caliber of person to put the guns down and walk away.
Walking away for me meant I donated all of my belongings first. For me to find myself and the problems within I had to strip the exterior. It was a slow process but it was easier in my soul because I knew by giving away the luxuries to charity I was shedding my exterior while fantasizing how another person would be coming across Versace Dolce Moschino etc Dunhill goodies for cheap or even free. I asked myself who am I? who would I be? The materials only distracted my return to innocence. It is quite impossible or fkn difficult to maintain larger items like cars without doing side jobs or running gigs.
Whether you have toes in or both feet out I would share my voice to you that you are human.
Longing and reminescing the past gloom and glamour happens and it will fade. The glamour is really not glamourous. There is no Ghetto Fab. Families get destroyed. When one smokes or gets smoked out it is their whole family that deals with the tragic trauma.
There is a writer by the name of Ryan Gaddis. You may want to check him out. Another author is Levine and his book is called Dharma Punx.
I read Dharma Punx and though it was not anywhere close to history I felt validation of how this kid landed into a crew.
We try to find a haven where we can speak share and allow our vulnerabilities to be vouched by another that we are no less of a man without the masks/materials. There is no gangster anomynous. It is a lonlier road that is true. However, shed the layers, lighten the load, learn to listen the heavy heart beats - what is it saying? Your childrens heart beat? What are they saying, what song are they singing to you? I dont have any kids but I hear a child's heart song has the power to empower parents to change. A super natural force.. ya dawg like sum trippy sh1t. Kids got that bass in chest.
We both Child Soldiers.
Childhood robbed by circumstances there nobody to blame for what we saw or done. All we can do is learn to extract the experience into lessons, morals, etc. Enter "normal" life little by little, take the bus and ponder, walk the streets without fighting, and try to engage a community or charity.
Hanging banging slanging flapping jacking macking (some pimping) flipping sipping tripping dipping comes a fork in the road: Quiting or RIPping.
Welcome to your new gang at MyPTSD.
