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- #13
flowerapple
Confident
Maybe you have something like that - where you thought you were giving, but it was actually also giving back to you....
Yeah, I think I do. I mean a couple times for the month I volunteer at the hospital on the Adult Mental Health Unit. I started doing it because I used to volunteer on another unit but I didn't really enjoy it too much and they needed volunteers on that unit, so I said okay. At first it made me uncomfortable because I had similar problems, but I enjoyed spending time with the patients and talking with them. Now, though, after reading you post, I think it also helps me in a way. When I talk to them and show them compassion and things like that, it points out to me how kind I am to other people, but not to myself. And that in the same way I believe they should be treated, is the same way I should treat myself. It's like I know it, but I don't do it. I still don't do it, well at least not as much as I should, but I try sometimes. It's really hard though, because I keep think that yeah I should be kind to myself, but at the same time, it's like yeah but I also caused all of this to happen, so I deserve the consequences and punishments and bad feelings that come along with it.