Alien0n3arth
New Here
Crying for absolutely no reason. It happens at work or at home. I’m quiet, calm, patient, I usually have my “neutral mood” as I call it. I usually feel nothing emotionally, just wandering in my world, wondering how the temple in Abydos was built or the lines in Nazca or creating new combinations of magnets for my experiments which I had to stop because of my toddler. It happens at work that I cry.
We have a loud heating system and I work in a warehouse. I use my earplugs and my manager and colleagues are fine with it. Sometimes I forget to put them. And after some time spent there I suddenly start crying and shaking and I feel it shakes me from the inside. But why?
I don’t have any flashbacks, I feel usually well, sometimes have fatigue also do t know why and I have no feelings, no bad feelings, no fear of anything or at least I don’t recognize any feelings. But I remember from my childhood I used to have emotions and I felt them somehow physically they were strong but I couldn’t identify and express them also talk about them or stand up for myself. I was kind of blocked.
But I did have emotions. After the terrible abuse I experienced I feel nothing and sometimes force myself to start feeling something but it’s hard. 10 years have passed and it’s slowly getting better. I have no issues with intimacy I still crave it and I have it with my husband although the trauma included sexual abuse. But I have unexplained and unexpected stress especially in loud and chaotic environments. I always had it since my childhood but what bothers me is that now I don’t even recognize the moment when it’s too much for me. Because i feel nothing.
Any experience or advice would be appreciated. I have my therapist but I have to wait long for my next appointment.
We have a loud heating system and I work in a warehouse. I use my earplugs and my manager and colleagues are fine with it. Sometimes I forget to put them. And after some time spent there I suddenly start crying and shaking and I feel it shakes me from the inside. But why?
I don’t have any flashbacks, I feel usually well, sometimes have fatigue also do t know why and I have no feelings, no bad feelings, no fear of anything or at least I don’t recognize any feelings. But I remember from my childhood I used to have emotions and I felt them somehow physically they were strong but I couldn’t identify and express them also talk about them or stand up for myself. I was kind of blocked.
But I did have emotions. After the terrible abuse I experienced I feel nothing and sometimes force myself to start feeling something but it’s hard. 10 years have passed and it’s slowly getting better. I have no issues with intimacy I still crave it and I have it with my husband although the trauma included sexual abuse. But I have unexplained and unexpected stress especially in loud and chaotic environments. I always had it since my childhood but what bothers me is that now I don’t even recognize the moment when it’s too much for me. Because i feel nothing.
Any experience or advice would be appreciated. I have my therapist but I have to wait long for my next appointment.
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