Difficulty

[Snowflake]

One thing I have difficulty with, is believing and accepting, I have an inner child. Another thing is knowing nobody can meet her needs ..... Nobody.... except for me. This sucks ...it's not fair!!! Do I have an inner child because I can't separate myself from her and I have no idea how to meet her needs .

 

[Ellabella44]

start with anything "childish" that you suddenly have a feeling that you would love to :

color
hug a stuffed animal
curl up in a blanket
listen to a sleep talk down "story"
fingerpaint
paint
collect seashells
kick small rock down a walkway
blow bubbles
blow a pinwheel
bubble bath
games
food you loved as a kid - Jello, Macaroni and cheese...etc.
make your backyard patio/ paving stones/ stepping stones colorful with sidewalk chalk
get a stuffed animal, pillow, etc you love the feel of

The fun stuff can be the start of meeting her needs. Small primitive comforts. Fun and games.

You dont have to seperate yourself from her to meet these needs. If there is more needed you'll find out.

Start with the simple things. :)

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Snowflake one of the things I did with my therapist was this.... I had a memory of being a very small child. I could see myself, standing under a tree at my neighbors house. I was looking at my house which was next to my neighbors. I knew what I was wearing right down to my shoes. My fist were clenched, and I was stiff and angry but scared too. I was about 5 or 6 and terrified.

That's all I could remember, and it haunted me for yrs. Try as hard as I could, I couldn't remember anything other than that. To this day, I can't remember anything else, and I KNOW there is more. I've let it go.

Anyways, my therapist knew how difficult this was for me, as we discussed it many times. Finally he asked me to try something. He closed the shades, turned down the lights and asked me to just find a spot in my mind where I could feel safe. Then he asked me to find my inner child under the tree and take her to my safe place and just hold her and tell her that it's ok, that I would protect her. He kept encouraging me to hold her, tell her that I loved her and that I would always try and her safe.....

It was one of the most healing, and draining sessions I've had with him. I CRIED, and cried so hard for that child because no one had ever protected her before. It was empowering, healing and cathartic......

If you think that you can, find that child and comfort her, hold her and tell her that you will always try to protect her....

 

[sun seeker]

Another thing is knowing nobody can meet her needs ..... Nobody.... except for me.

I recall making a comment on this in another thread. I'll repeat it here: that just isn't true. It's a popular misconception that a lot of self-help books promote, as well as a lot of therapists. I so wish you had access to a therapist who could work with attachment issues in a way that worked better for you. The way you are being told it has to be just isn't the only way. When there is serious developmental trauma, first you need lots of modeling of secure attachment and for a trusted person (i.e. therapist) to show you how to care for your child parts. Eventually you internalize that and learn first to imitate that care, then to really feel it from inside of you. Someone on another thread said something like that expecting someone who has not gone through that therapeutic process to care for their own child parts, is like expecting a three-year-old to cook their own dinner.

I know you have a strong attachment to the therapist you are working with, and that isn't something I would want to disturb. I just want to gently point out that the way she is doing things is not the only way. There is nothing wrong with you for not being able to do something you don't yet have the tools to do.

 

[Snowflake]

I recall making a comment on this in another thread. I'll repeat it here: that just isn't true. It...

Hi-the person that really stressed the inner child was the online life coach. However, my therapist agrees I have parts, including the inner child. I agree I have attachment issues-I just don't know how to fix this.

 

[shimmerz]

Years ago when a therapist I was going to referred to my inner child I thought she was nuts. Many therapists later, and with newfound knowledge that comes with time progression, I have found that using 'inner child' work helps. I just don't call it inner child work so much. I see it as more of an energy block that stunts emotional growth - a part frozen in time that could not move on wards and grow and progress because it was caught in a loop.

You may find this to be of help to you. It is called Matrix ReImprinting and is a hybrid of Emotional Freedom Technique, both of which have helped me in leaps and bounds.

The guys name is Karl Dawson. He is renowned for his therapy techniques.

 

[Ellabella44]

I found mine at the beach collecting seashells and kicking a rock down the walkway there. Made a game of it on a rainy day when nobody was there. :)

 

[sun seeker]

@Snowflake, would you mind if I PM you about this?

 

[Snowflake]

@Snowflake, would you mind if I PM you about this?

Absolutely

 

[Deleted member 34535]

One thing I have difficulty with, is believing and accepting, I have an inner child. Another thing is...

Hi Snowflake. I have a unique concept of the Inner-Child if you will as one who has had his PTSD as well as many other mental health diagnosis for my entire life. I saw my Therapist Yesterday and I told her that I had absolutely no childhood. I have no memory of feeling like a carefree child. My only memory is of one who was hovering above everyone, always separated from the world, looking for my next potential threat.
A couple months ago, I started thinking that I would never be completely free until I was able to actually see what happened to me. I believe my abuse occured prior to or at the age of three where our brain is incapable of producing an actual memory that we can see. Then I thought that when a trauma occurs, something magical happens. Our creator put in motion a mechanism whereby when a trauma occurs that we need to be protected from, a chemical and electrical phenomenon takes place, something like the Big Bang Theory of Creation. I call my creation Buddy because he has been my buddy for pretty much my entire life doing just one thing, protecting me from seeing what it deems I should not see and am not ready to see.

Some unique characteristics I believe my Buddy has. 1) I believe he is frozen in time. Think about it, He is born at the time of my trauma, which I believe is at or before age 3. He has one singular focus his entire life, to watch the door in my brain that leads to where my traumas are locked. I think my Buddy still thinks I am 3 and not 53. We have been communicating with one another for about 6 weeks and we are building a relationship slowly but surely.

2) And probably the most contraversial part of the My Buddy Theory is I believe my Buddy has his own unique spirit. I think My Buddy has his own feeling spirit unique to him. Think about it. My Buddy works 24/7.....365.....doing one thing, protecting me. I think My Buddy has a good spirit. I thinks he loves me because all that he does 24/7.....365 is serve me and love me.

My Buddy may fit into the inner-child category for some and if someone wants to think that, I am more that fine with that. I look at it this way, whatever it takes to get those of us with this incidiuos disease known as PTSD, then it works for me. Bless You!!!

 

[Deleted member 34424]

My inner child is extremely annoying and pisses me off because she's always so fearful and anxious with irrational things and haunts me with them. Still working on getting her to chill out and it's NOT EASY.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@ShamrockChalk. Maybe if you weren't so pissed, and upset because she is anxious it would work out better. Just a thought.