You handled this issue with the fear of a new diagnosis really well. You confronted it, talked to him about it, and got relief and solutions... you were even near a breakthrough. You not only solved the current issue but sounds like you were working through deeper issues too.
New challenge came up. One you feared. Tech crashed. I’ve had that happen and it’s weirdly jarring and triggering. Not the end of the world, but yeah it’s hard to continue. It’s like a phone call dropping, only more so. For me, it triggers past trauma and abandonment. It’s like I’m doing all this being vulnerable stuff and bam, the bridge to another person I was leaning on in this new territory isn’t there. While life goes on, it still stirs up the pain of the past and sure, it can be hard to not shut down.
While all the fears are bouncing up, keep in mind that it’s not jarring only because the here and now moment of tech crashing is painful, but because the past was too.
There is something in therapy called a “corrective emotional experience” that can happen after a therapy glitch. If the therapist and client can work through the glitch together, it not only solves this current moment but helps with the unresolved past pain too.
That why talking to the therapist about the codependency disagreement was so helpful - yes the here and now was solved, you got not only reassurance and solutions but also to experience healthy relationship conflict resolution, and that fueled the space for more work.
No one wants glitches and bumps and disagreements in therapy, but they happen when doing deep work. It’s par for the course. If it’s not Telehealth crashing it could be that construction happens next door to the office. (I’ve had that happen.)
There is a time to throw in the towel and walk away and quit. I’m not sure you are there yet and even more I get a sense that you don’t want things to get to the point you quit.
Plus, your almost breakthrough was not because it’s been smooth sailing. but because there was disagreement and that prompted a discussion that was really helpful to you.
This tech issue sucks, no doubt, but it can also be an opportunity. Is there a plan you and the therapist could have if this happens again that helps with the trigger of sudden abandonment/cut off if tech falls through again?
