Disappointed

[GrayOwl]

I wish you success along the way.
Acceptance, pride in accomplishment, I hope you find ways to pursue your goals.
Your little guy is most important, I'm glad you see that.
Our society dictates a lot of false goals and directions, so if you proceed slowly and cautiously, that is great.
Be diligent in your search for assistance, there is a lot out there. Talk to profs and anyone affiliated with programs, schools, aid. When you talk to enough people and put your name and your goals and your enthusiasm out there, sometimes good things arrive in the wind, so keep the faith, and accept progress on it's terms and at it's speed.
Sounds like you have great goals.
A friend of mine married a Russian girl working toward a degree in law. Many opportunities have come along financially and I hope they're happy. I think so. But it is a long process.
Have a great weekend. Wish you the best.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

With my current degree and profession, there's no room for growth or a pay raise unless I become an ed...

I think you are working it out in your mind, which is great! Don't put too much pressure on yourself now about future kid activities, vacations, paying for his college... the reality is, not all of us have been able to do that. We have lucked out in latching onto family for vacations based on where people live or parent funding, but have only really been able to pay for two on our own in these 16 years. Our kids had medical problems too. You run into unexpected job loss. You can't predict any of that. For us, it just never is easy or calms down. There is always something that you are having to deal with. But... life would be boring without that, right? Forge ahead and adapt! I believe in you!

 

[Casey_03]

I am taking a short trip to my distant relatives' cabin in the wilderness next month, so am hoping maybe I can try to decompress then and clear my head on what I should do. It's a cabin on a part of land that has been handed down in my family from generation to generation, and has quite a bit of family history, so it will also be nice to be able to give my son a visit there, just like all the visits there I got as a kid. Will have to rack up my credit card bill to pay for gas, but I think it is a long overdue mini-vacation and will be worth it.

 

[anonymous]

@TexCat, for some.of the "other posters", as with @Casey_03 , it isn't a matter of not being passionate about children. My number one job in life remains being a good parent. I always knew kids were something I wanted and that they would be a priority.

If this is not something that you are passionate about, proceed with caution. As @TexCat says, life will always throw curveballs.

I went forward with my education for all the wrong reasons. I allowed my lack of confidence to make decisions for me. I do have a good job, but financial stability is far different from being passionate about work. I got lucky with my mentor. I learned about the kind of person and supervisor that I wanted to be. That was a blessing.

But letters before and/or after one's name does not equal job satisfaction nor happiness. That is another matter completely. Make sure if you are going to do this that it is something you really want to do.

Again, hindsight is 20/20. Things to consider...

If financial stability is your only reason for this, be sure to calculate the years of lost income while you are in school. It is so hard to be at the top of the undergrad class and watch the bottom of the class graduate, get real jobs, and get paid real money while you set for five years or more still pennyless.

Second, you should calculate the salary differential between what you can make with and without that. PhD. Is it worth the lost income, accrued principle on student loans, price of tuition, and increased stress?

Is this only about the money or are you the type of person who wants to be in charge and not have to take orders from others? This is something I never even considered. I am not necessairly one who enjoys being in charge, but the extra letters with your name will, many times, push you into operating in that capacity.

Are you an introvert or extrovert? How will your degree change your requirement for interpersonal interactions?

It is so much more than just the money.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

@TexCat, for some.of the "other posters", as with @Casey_03 , i...

My point was more about what is the driving force for @Casey_03 to choose her path. Not about whether people that do high level careers are passionate about that, over their kids. I don't believe that. My sister is a full time CPA and she leaves work and devotes every minute to her kids. When my kids were little, I devoted my whole day to them, but loved it when my husband got home so that I could leave and have a break from them at "work." (Still getting to teach clarinet, which I love doing). Honestly, I chose my passion, fought my husband over keeping my part time private owned business over teaching full time. But I love the career opportunities that came from it. Financially.., it made things harder. But, it fulfilled me on a mom and career level. Most of my friends have graduate degrees and do what I do. I have some regrets about not having one, but they were planning towards playing in symphonies and I really was more into the education thing and didnt want to teach college, so I guess undergrad was enough for me.

 

[Casey_03]

If financial stability is your only reason for this, be sure to calculate the years of lost income while you are in school.

It's not my only reason. My only plan in life was always to go as far as I could with schooling, and I got accepted into a graduate program years ago but didn't go (because I moved to Russia instead). I thrive in academic environments and have always excelled and been at the top of the class, and I feel like I will waste so much potential if I don't take my education further.

As for financial costs, if it's a PhD program the tuition is covered and they provide a stipend, so I won't be paying from my income for that (although I will have to work and teach as part of the program). The salary difference between if I get the degree and land a job in that field and if I don't is huge -- I'd be making about four times as much if I got a degree in that field. I don't even have much income to lose if I were in school, and there's a chance I could continue to work part-time at my current job.

You seem to have gotten the impression that this is solely about money and I'm not passionate about it -- I assure you, that is not the case. But it didn't seem particularly fitting to rant on about Arabic and Russian and the thrill of studying foreign languages.

There is also the simple fact that I got my bachelor's degree in a certain subject area solely because I was passionate about it. And I have regretted that for over a decade now -- it was idiotic to not think about money, and it set me up for quite a bit of regret and disaster, poverty and starvation. Money is a big priority now, but that's not a shallow thing when money means I can have financial security for my son and not have the stress of wondering how much longer I can survive off of old stale bread and a hardboiled egg each day.

It's most certainly not just about letters after my name or money. It's the fact that I know I can do so SO much more with my life and I don't want my son to grow up with a mother who regrets her life decisions and spends most of his life depressed.

I think at this point it's not a question of whether or not I'll go back to school; it's more a question of what degree I'll go back for -- something work intensive and demanding, or something a bit easier but that will still give me a competitive edge in the job market.

 

[anonymous]

Nothing in particular led me to this course of study. It just seems like a good way to make use of the skills I already have and acquire new ones that would give me a decent, interesting career.

I apologize for misreading this message as saying you were not passionate about the course of study. It seems like you are thinking theough this quite thoroughly. Good luck with your decision.

 

[Casey_03]

No need to apologize at all! Just wanted to clarify that it's not solely about money or a need to get a title.