Disclosure to people outside the medical sphere?

[TruthSeeker]

You don’t

I concur that you can't be sure whom you can trust.....and whether they can handle it. One thing I haven't learned to do well until more recently is stay safe by keeping my mouth shut about my feelings. In the past, I have been impulsive....when I've told my issues it was....a super bad idea and always ended badly. I hate dishonesty, secrets, and never wanted to be seen as having anything to do with that....so I told ALL.....like water spewing out of a faucet. Telling people all my business, I learned the hard way, isn't safe....and can cause lots more pain....and make me more vulnerable. Unfortunately, I married a narcissist and my brother is also a super-narcissist and they have gotten so much narcissistic energy out of me having issues-making them think they are normal.... a way to

support their position that I'm crazy and they are sane. ​

OMG.....I'll hear about it the rest of my life....and as a result, husband is now my X. I found I must stay safe by disclosing to people who are safe and I trust implicitly and won't hurt me with this information. I already have been.....from a couple of directions so after getting burned, I learned a hard lesson. Seriously think before disclosing about the authenticity of your relationship with whom you want to tell....can I trust this person with my life? Then wait 24 hours, and ask yourself again. If it is someone from work....forget the idea (work is a gossip mill)....work and health stay separate. If it is someone in an organization you enjoy, reconsider. Sharing means becoming vulnerable which to the wrong person can make you not safe...

So, I have learned that there is a difference between secrets and privacy, sharing a little and TELLING ALL (degrees) and this (my mental health) is private. I only disclose now, bits but never the whole thing.

Sorry I went on so.....I found I'm quite passionate about this subject....didn't realize it till just now. Thanks!

 

[Swift]

I kind of have different levels of disclosure.
Sometimes I'll get shaky hands or I'm jumpy AF and it's noticeable. I also have wicked self-harm scars that I keep covered usually.
If I do something weird or I can see someone looking at me trying to figure out what's going on, I generally just say, "oh, don't mind that, it's just the PTSD" super-casually, like it's asthma or diabetes. People's responses generally let me know if they're worthy of more info.
For those who ask "what was the trauma?" I'm generally like, "hey, you probably don't know this and I get you're trying to help, but that's a pretty hard question for people with PTSD because it's a reliving-type disease, so we generally don't want to talk about it." They usually apologize, I say they weren't to know, we continue talking about other things.
You can't really ever know if someone is safe to tell, but you can run a mile when they show signs that they might not be.
Following is an incomplete field guide to idiots in their natural habitat.
The types of people I run a mile from are:
- people who act entitled to your information purely because they want to know (I'm just curious! You can tell meeeeee etc)
- anyone who wants you to convince them that PTSD is a Real Thing or who asks you to justify it
- anyone who thinks they know how to treat it. (Oh you just need more exercise/medication/to pray/a yoga retreat/vitamins/twelve pieces of chalk and a cockerel in a circle at the full moon.) Often do the "my friend had that and she did x and now she's cured!" No, dumbarse, she just stopped telling you about it because you're an idiot.
And my personal fav:
- I think we *all* have some PTSD. When X happened, I thought about it for a whole week!

Good luck.

 

[TruthSeeker]

I kind of have different levels of disclosure.
Sometimes I'll get shaky hands or I'm jumpy AF and it's no...

Awesome. Thanks for sharing....I love the last part.... field guide to idiots in their natural habitat
Add this to your list- a women's drumming circle around a bonfire! I almost asked in the woods? Clothed or naked?

I get the same kind of responses when people find out I have a seizure disorder......put stones under the bed (a German superstition thing), eat a different diet, and the real outliers: others laying on of hands to rid me of demons (but at the same time I'm told my seizures won't go away unless I'm really believing, stop taking my medicine, and I believe, believe, believe), join a cult-get with the right God, my friend has....., try this med.....you didn't go to the "right" doctor or best clinic.....
people can be so righteous and honestly believe they are being kind.

 

[Swift]

Hilarious.
Maybe we should start a, what's the most ridiculous advice someone has given you, thread.
Far out.
Also, naked women's drumming circle?
Count me in.

 

[Tinyflame]

Oh, hee. :roflmao: The drumming is excellent, :tup: , but it'd better be warm. :coldfeet:

 

[TruthSeeker]

Hilarious.
Maybe we should start a, what's the most ridiculous advice someone has given you, thread.
Far...

I would have asked if we could also have marshmallows....no use wasting a good bonfire!

 

[Swift]

TraumaCure, now with naked drumming circles and marshmallows! I would have started therapy ages ago!

 

[Tinyflame]

Plus chocolate? :laugh:

I think TraumaCure sounds like a creative vacation.. :tup::)

 

[TruthSeeker]

Maybe we shouldn't make fun of things that are foreign or intriguing???? LOL I did ask the purpose of this drumming circle.....and it was an energy-based response I got. Here is an elaborated description for TraumaCure!

Dancing and drumming in a circle around a bonfire in the woods (naked or clothed-your choice), whilst holding a toasted marshmallow on a stick,
will increase energy flow in specifically challenged chakras,
leading the participant to a even energy flow throughout the body,
resulting in fewer PTST/trauma symptoms which will move one towards the normalcy in their life that they seek.

Ya'll took this drumming to a place....I never thought it could go....thanks for the laugh!

 

[katz]

Do you have someone to talk to who has similar experiences?

No. Not anymore.

 

[Nessa7]

I will tell anyone and everyone that I see on a somewhat regular basis that I'm in therapy. Fighting the stigma of mental illness is important to me, and it's something that I can do to help. I find that for every person that has a negative reaction that there is someone that was considering therapy for themselves or a family member that could benefit from the conversation.

As far as the details go, it depends. I don't disclose to anyone that I generally don't like. I'll limit what I say to someone that knows my parents, because I don't want people in their lives to judge them by their worst phases of life. If someone else is disclosing, I'll be very open. For me, having really positive experiences from relating to people over our histories has made it so easy to brush it off when someone responds in a way that is well-intentioned but kind of offensive.

 

[Still Standing]

I have told my doctors about it which I thought was practical. I have also told others but very few really want to talk about it. A couple of people sorta understand and a few are on a different view than I so there is no support there. As a whole, I feel pretty much on my own. This forum is my haven for like-mindedness, of sorts. It has gone a long way in support. I think there is a lot of confusion concerning how someone outside of military can have PTSD. And to tell someone about the PTSD, often they want to know the why's and it is not something I want everyone to know about. So, I try to be discreet with whom I share.