ED Disordered eating

[ms spock]

I am officially at my WW weight goal which means I am 70 kilos which is the top of my BMI for my height! I am so pleased with that!

I went to the meeting yesterday. I got some award type things, clapped and lied and told them my why was being at goal weight to reduce cancer risk as overweight puts you in a higher category and both my Mother and Sister have had breast cancer. My real why was to learn to not binge eat as a PTSD related symptom, and to not remain numb all day medicated and sedated by food that has been a disordered eating pattern from early childhood when the sexual assault started around twoish. No one in public needs to know my why. I am extremely proud to get out of being extremely obese, obese, overweight, to now being a normal weight.

 

[HealingInProcess]

I am officially at my WW weight goal which means I am 70 kilos which is the top of my BMI for my height! I am so pleased with that!

I went to the meeting yesterday. I got some award type things, clapped and lied and told them my why was being at goal weight to reduce cancer risk as overweight puts you in a higher category and both my Mother and Sister have had breast cancer. My real why was to learn to not binge eat as a PTSD related symptom, and to not remain numb all day medicated and sedated by food that has been a disordered eating pattern from early childhood when the sexual assault started around twoish. No one in public needs to know my why. I am extremely proud to get out of being extremely obese, obese, overweight, to now being a normal weight.

I'm glad you've made your goal and thank you for sharing with us.

 

[ms spock]

My bigger goal has been I don't feel the need to comfort or binge eating @HealingInProcess! I am learning how to emotionally regulate myself so much better. I never thought I would be able to get through a day without numbing myself with food. It is astounding that I have gotten here!

 

[ms spock]

It's still not easy I have to be mindful and aware but I am getting there.

 

[ms spock]

Another massive victory for me I had a success and didn't reward myself with food! It is AMAZING.

I now have routine, and I go volunteering every day and it will lead to more paid work!

I also had an upsetting experience, and I didn't go back into my traumatic childhood. I didn't even think of binge eating or comfort eating. I talked about it. I had a cry. I felt a bit low. Then I got over it and then I actually just fronted up to deal with the situation last night which was a non starter and I had support that I had been treated unfairly. I didn't over eat or avoid and just drop out. So I am doing it!

I am now no longer obese or overweight. I am in my normal BMI.

But I HAD a crisis and I did not comfort eat or binge eat.
I HAD A SUCCESS and I didn't reward myself with food. Both times I didn't think about it!

 

[ms spock]

This has become a non issue for me. I never thought it would be like this. I am all over the place with some issues but this is doing okay!

I am managing a whole lot of things so much better. A bit of slipping and sliding but really doing so well with this.

 

[ms spock]

Three weeks away from LTM in Weight Watchers. I am not self medicating with food. I have totally changed and transformed around food. I am sure there will be slipping and sliding but it is a huge shift. I no longer binge eat before going to bed.

 

[ms spock]

So I binge ate not last night but the night before. Now I am back on track.

 

[HealingInProcess]

So I binge ate not last night but the night before. Now I am back on track.

Yeah I have had this problem but I say forget it and move forward.

 

[ms spock]

Absolutely @HealingInProcess!

 

[ms spock]

So doing really well with this. Maintaining my weight and in two weeks I become a Life Time Member in Weight Watchers. I am eating really well. I eat proper meals and I am within my normal BMI weight range. It is cool. Tough feeling feelings but I am sticking with it!

 

[ms spock]

So I have had several comfort eating times before bed these last two weeks, I am not worrying so much anymore about that. It will settle when my new circumstances of working.

And @Friday you are right my weight does fluctuate between 2-3 kilos over time, but it is not a worry now. I am just under the weight I need to be these days so it doesn't matter.

Today is an achievement day I become a life time member in WW - which means I have maintained my healthy goal weight for 6 weeks! I am so proud of myself. To lose the weight I had to learn not to self soothe and medicate with food - as much. The odd time here and there is not a problem. I have totally changed as a person, not only physically but also mentally.