ED Disordered eating

[shatter eyes]

Well I ended up doing lost parrot stuff, and that takes a lot of effort and time. It was a d...

Sounds interesting lost parrot.
I will look it up.


I overate... it feels my heart has no space to beat again.... body pain and foggy mind so i just ate ate ate ate

 

[ms spock]

Sounds interesting lost parrot.

I was out walking. I found a lost pet parrot. I picked up it up and brought the little critter home, and then I started looking for the owners. Some people came around to see this parrot. It was not theirs. It is emotional when peopel don't find their beloved parrot.

I overate... it feels my heart has no space to beat again.... body pain and foggy mind so i just ate ate ate ate

I have lived most of my life here! I really have. It is what I used as a child to manage my life.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I have too. I don't know what changed. The last 2 weeks I have been in horrible pain, and I ate more as a coping mechanism. I decided to stop doing that. I want to lose more weight, but I don't want to go crazy doing it, and I can't seem to find the happy medium. I saved a bunch of diabetic recipes, I will at least look at them today.

 

[ms spock]

I ate some food before bed. I did not overdo it. I kept to my points yesterday in Weight Watchers, found it difficult but did it, after blow outs the three days before.

 

[ms spock]

Some of my eating issue is about blocking people's connection and ability to get at me.

 

[ms spock]

So I anaesthetise myself with food a lot of the time, which I didn't realise how much I do that. I have done that most days, all day. I am only realising that I feel very strange because I am not full, bloated and sedated so much of the time. It is a real change of state for me.

 

[ms spock]

I am also having a lot of anger coming up. I am also having a lot of frustration as well. I am feeling highly reactive as well.

 

[ms spock]

So I am continuously choosing not to comfort eat today. So because I am making this solid decision I am feeling so many other feelings.

 

[ninja]

After we're solid with this we could make a dictionary of feelings. :geek::hug:
I think it is empowering and a big deal to be able to say 'no' and know there will be other times when we will say yes. It gets easier as the trust in that is built.

 

[shatter eyes]

I started Apple Cider Vinegar again... i remember in the past it has helped regulate my SEE FOOD diet. I guess it is stress eating when there is no taste or enjoyment it is just something to munch crunch on.... instead of something to punch on.

I feel highly reactive lately but low energy. My mood is like eat eat eat leave me alone i am eating.. fk off i am eating.. sorry my hands are full.. i am eating.

I notice my over eating is nearly all sugar and carb food like cookies and cereals.

 

[ms spock]

Night time is my danger time! I just comfort eat at night time. I comfort ate last night.

I did well with my eating most of the day, but I over did it at the restaurant a bit, and then when I got home. I didn't do so well. I am still doing better overall.

I still am shocked by how little food that you really need. I am shocked at a portion size. I can eat one of those serving up a meal! It was the way I managed as a child.

I just want to curl up and sleep and avoid the world.

But I also managed to not eat on and off the whole day so that was a big improvement! So I am learning new skills, I am just struggling with them at the moment. They will normalise and start to become second nature after about 30 days.

 

[ms spock]

Today is being a really tough day for me with the eating. My maladaptive daydreaming/ongoing maladaptive narratives are back with a vengenance and I have to learn to manage this a bit better. So I have to go back to breaking down my own distorted cognitions. This is linked with my hypervigilance