Dissaciation?

[misswonderland]

It's been pointed out to me before but sometimes that it looks like my eyes glaze over and if someone is talking to me my eyes dart back and forth. My muscles all tense up, I can't make decisions, it's like a flip switches.

I know the one time I lost an entire day memory wise that was how my behavior was.

Dissasociation? Or something else?

 

[Aideun32]

Sounds like Disassociation to me. Probably a flashback type deal if it flips just like that.

 

[misswonderland]

I have a difficult time realizing it's happening until after the fact, or someone says something. It worries me to have gaps in time like that or to not know what even triggered it.

 

[Aideun32]

I have a difficult time realizing it's happening until after the fact, or someone says something...

yea friend, the same thing happens to me. It is very hard to tell for me when i am going into these states, there are methods to checking though. It seems like you have somewhat of a handle of when this state appears. Finding the thing that trigger can be tricky, try thinking about why you need to become distant from yourself? that helps for me.

 

[Beans]

very likely dissociation. while I don't have gaps in time, it's like I can see myself and i'm there, but I'm on autopilot. No thinking just tense watching trying to get through whatever situation my trauma has caused me to deem as threatening.

 

[MyWillow]

I'm only new here but I only ever go into a dissociative shut down during therapy sessions - I definitely have some serious "blanks" in session that I've only recently become aware of. I suspect I've experienced my first all consuming flashback too (I can't hear, see, move or talk during this)...whilst I'm yet to de-brief with my psych (it was in session) I understand eyes darting around such as you describe may well be a flashback. My GP said a beautiful thing to me this week: "I think it's a real positive. Not only are you in a place where you recognise your dissociation but you feel safe enough that your brain is ready to remember. It's not going to be a walk in the park but I still think it's a positive." I was blown away.