Dissasociate from therapist saying something positive

[NewBeginnings]

Sometimes in T, a major trigger that makes me want to disassociate is when my T says that sh...

I am not sure what I do but it is not positive. I have asked my therapist why she is kind and nice. I acuused her of doing that because it is her job. I have challenged her and said she doesn’t mean to say “xyz and she is trying to trick me. I have asked her to be angry with me and that I am waiting for her to get upset, ask me to leave therapy, tell me to see someone else, etc. This hasn’t been all in one session but through the years. Don’t remember all the details but I hate when she is understanding and at the same time it has been helpful even if I don’t want to admit it.

Her response has basically been I am uncomfortable and do not know how to take it because I did not experience this as a child. She says it is not her job to be nice and say what I want to hear but she needs to be real. She says she is not angry and if she were that it would not help me for her to yell at me and i would further dissociate.

My point is not exactly but what a validating post that this is something many struggle with.

Good Luck! We need to believe our therapists at face value until they give us a reason otherwise.

 

[MyWillow]

If my therapist talks about how much I’m valued in my work role....BAM....GONE....dissociated. Last week she changed tack just enough to keep me present...said how exciting it must be to be at the forefront of such revolutionary technology. I really appreciated that she did that. If I talk ABOUT work that’s a way to ground me but to say I’m good at what I do sends me spinning. I have no idea why.