OMG!!! I had exactly same experience. If that is possible. I actually experience splitting on my therapist because again I felt he should have grounded me. I said how mean and cruel is it you let me dissociate so deep for an hour and then let me go after to take the subway...I was livid! the next two days, I spent looking for a new therapist. I thought he was enjoying watching me breakdown like that...sick ...I want to say more but I better get hold of myself.
Then a miracle happened. Seriously. I felt grateful that I am able to recognize that I was splitting on him. My feelings toward him were from the transference/dissociation during the therapy...which MEANT THIS:
this is my experience so please read with that in mind.
As a child, I was neglected by my mother. I must have starved for food and love and WISHED as an infant, my mother loved me enough to take care of her. I am asking the therapist to become my mother because I am still under the transference. I am like please love me, protect me and engage me and ground me...when truly it is all about my inner child calling out my mother.
I felt down and cried!!!!! there is no way I could be (as an adult) be angry at a therapist just doing his job. what should he do was to make me realize that...but here I was realizing it and I laughed and I sang to my inner child and I gave so much love to myself and count my blessing....I still had love inside of me...because you know abuse can destroy love.
Your demands are a result of the transference. You can skip this therapist and find another one and I am almost certain you will have same feeling. twist your perception and look at this as an infant or small child..who are you truly angry at or want their attention? it is not the therapist. the therapist was just a person in the room who was giving you that safe space you could disintegrate and come out again.
if you like, ask next time that you want the last 10 minutes of the session in breathing and no talking...so YOU CAN GROUND YOUR INNER CHILD.
ALL THE BEST.
