Dissociation during therapy

[LucyLou]

I've had my session this morning and I think it was a good one. A hard one, but a good one. I sent alot over to her via email before it. I actually feel ok. Maybe this dissociation thing isn't so bad She brought it up, how I dissociated at one point and I need to be able to keep myself present in session but it's not even something I realise is happening. She's advised I look up on dissociation. She didn't say it was a bad thing and it's a normal trauma response, she just said that I need to try stick with it in session but I don't know what to do to stop this happening. Anyone else the same?

 

[parrotthepolly]

Dissociation is a common stress response and in therapy you discussed a lot that causes stress so of course it happens.

Try grounding techniques, like squeezing or holding onto something so you know you're present? Are you aware at all when you're dissociating, do you feel like you're in a dream or anything? Or do you forget stuff?

 

[LucyLou]

I just forget stuff and my mind goes blank

 

[Sues]

I dissociate a lot during therapy. My therapist is gentle with me about it and slowing guides me back. He's never told me that I need to not do it. He simply reminds me that it's normal and it's a coping mechanism, and a smart one, that kept me safe during the traumatic time. We work on grounding skills and when he sees me doing it he reminds me to breathe and 'stay in the room' but there's no telling me that I need to work on staying present. He tries to help me to stay present, but doesn't make me feel like I've got to stop doing it, which I can't.

I also don't realize I'm doing it. It's something that often happens quickly, so it's hard to control, but my therapist will prompt me when it happens to use grounding and they he sits with me through it.

 

[Asatantrosa]

I also dissociate alot during therapy. My therapist asks me regularly during sessions how present i feel and notices when i dissociate and then we do some groundig excersizes so i come back to myself. This happens automaticly, i don’t notice when i do it which makes it hard to decide to just stop doing it. I noticed though that the more we’ve talked about the traumatic memories the more present i could be and some things always makes me dissociate, like closing my eyes. Try to notice how it feels to be dissociated in your body and if there are things that make you stay in the moment. My therapist brought thai chiliflakes i could chew on during the more difficult parts and the burning sensation in my mouth helped me stay connected to my body

 

[Susan Jane]

I used to do this a lot, I thought I was just tired, but it turned out that I was escaping it. I was very confused about it. I used to call it feeling weird. Now when it happens I touch something sturdy with my hands… something wooden helps most, chair or table and bring myself back slowly….

 

[Movingforward10]

but it's not even something I realise is happening.

Same. It took my T pointing it out to make me aware. Had no clue. It's just how things were and was normal. But it's not everyone's normal.
So learning that awareness is step one.
Then working out what it feels like and what it is for you.
And then working out what triggers it.
And then working out how to manage it in terms of grounding and coming back again.
And then, slowly, slowly, it doesn't happen as much.

It's a long process.
And it's pretty impressive really when you think about it (and take the judgement about yourself away). How our minds find creative ways to survive. really helpful at the time.
No longer needing that coping strategy means learning a new one. And that takes time.

 

[whiteraven]

She brought it up, how I dissociated at one point and I need to be able to keep myself present in session but it's not even something I realise is happening.

I dissociate a lot, and in therapy, my T helps guide me back. I couldn't do it myself...I realize it's happening now, but I never used to.

 

[TruthSeeker1]

I've had my session this morning and I think it was a good one. A hard one, but a good one. I sent alot over to her via email before it. I actually feel ok. Maybe this dissociation thing isn't so bad She brought it up, how I dissociated at one point and I need to be able to keep myself present in session but it's not even something I realise is happening. She's advised I look up on dissociation. She didn't say it was a bad thing and it's a normal trauma response, she just said that I need to try stick with it in session but I don't know what to do to stop this happening. Anyone else the same?

I have gotten a pretty good handle on it.....I dissociate when I'm triggered but that happens infrequently now. I find that if I'm angry about something that was hurtful, unfair, wrong, inhuman, belittling, and I allow my thoughts to go there....it will start looking foggy....and if I choose....key words here....to stick with the emotions so I can wallow or escape then the dissociation will worsen and I could end up in the wall-not aware of my surroundings. I think some of the grounding techniques are helpful at first....but there came a time I didn't go any further.

I spent a couple of years identifying triggers and discussing the associating feelings that lead me to dissociation and the more I tried to talk....word finding and dissociation were challenging when your brain has been instructed to survive via escape....the more present I became as I talked about it. Later on, I found focusing on the mind-thoughts (What am I thinking?), then knowing the brain....will respond w dissociation to escape....as it's been trained to do....by my thoughts which were always to leave, run, escape, avoid, etc. When I replaced the thoughts with positive thoughts......that was the beginning of making bigger strides in not being triggered. Being honest with myself.....and my excuses was hard....but it has been the way to improvements in staying grounded.

Now, when I realize I'm angry, anxious, or talking to myself in a negative way....I've been triggered by my own thoughts. Once I realize I'm in negative mode, I actively stop and step back from the feelings, identify the thoughts, and say aloud "let it go. I can just let this go. I'm in control. and repeat till the fog dissipates." Dissociation is a learned response to trauma....and it can be unlearned with vowing to stay present with positve self-talk, I can statements, and being willing to let the negative all go without reservation (includes the prideful issues of being right) by focusing on the words "let it go." This stops the negative thoughts, puts positive ones in my head, one of gaining control and having the courage to do so. Courage to change is key. Wanting to change and give up being the abused person.....and flipping that to a person with courage to change is key.

We get something out of dissociation....escape and pity, blame, righteousness, etc. but all of those behaviors are not healthy and won't stop the dissociation because it's based on old negative tapes we play to ourself. I had to choose to let go of the wallowing, blaming, whose at fault (not me) and flip things to a positive, change perspective on the events, and at this point... eventually looking at things from a different perspective would rid me of the trigger. I did it trigger by trigger......but my friend, it can be done if you are ready to work on letting go!