Dissociation- Are You Still Aware?

[zoie33]

Today was the first time my T noticed that I dissociated in session. I know of at least three times when I did it and I always seem to dissociate when I have the thought that I'm dead inside. I think he only noticed this time because we were doing EMDR and kept asking me how that made me feel or where my body I felt it and I kept telling him I don't know I'm done I've been done since I told you I wanted to be dead. I never knew that this was really dissociation so I'm just wondering when it happens to me I kind of stare off like my mind goes a million miles away but I'm still aware in a way I remember most of what he's saying or at least at the time I'm aware of what he is saying. This is all new to me and I know everyone is different but I just wanted to know is it possible to remember what happened in session when you dissociate I can still remember him asking me questions and bringing me back.

 

[Sunshineturtle]

Today was the first time my T noticed that I dissociated in session. I know of at least three times when...

For me, it depends upon the level of what is going on. During EMDR, yes aware. A trauma happening, no.

 

[whiteraven]

Sometimes I remember and sometimes I don't. It's common to feel separate from your body or to feel very far away in your head but still aware that there are people and things going on around you. When I first recognized that I dissociated, I thought back to one thing I always used to do: standing in a long line at the grocery store, my mind would be completely blank - no thoughts and my vision would be very distorted and blurry because I wasn't really seeing out of my eyes just then - but I would be vaguely aware that I was standing and that there were people around me. It was often like this, although sometimes I am completely amnesiac for the time.

Awareness comes and goes and can be more or less. For what it's worth, for me it has gotten much better the more I've learned about it and worked with it.

 

[gealach]

For me, in the moment I'm not aware. It's only when I come back that I realize I've been gone. I'm not aware of anyone or anything around me, and I have no memory of what happened during that period of time. I use cues, clues, or my watch to figure out how long I've been gone (usually less than 5 minutes).

For me it's like those sci-fi movies where a character is abducted by aliens, with no memory of the abduction, just the missing time on their clock. But I'm pretty sure I haven't been abducted by aliens :roflmao: :alien: :hilarious:

 

[Muted]

I get what you're saying. For me it's like fuzzy, I will remember bits and pieces, but not all of our conversations. I hate that when I can't remember!!

 

[alis]

only occasionally will I "lose time" and very rarely end up in places. usually I am aware when things begin to get "fuzzy,"it feels like I'm losing touch with the reality in front of me. but when people speak to me it is very very far away as if I'm at the bottom of a very very deep empty swimming pool and people are trying to speak to me from so far away. I think I get a blank dead stare as my thought processes stop and I intermittently stop existing. It's like I can realize they're speaking but I can't quite make out the meaning or the point to what they're saying if that makes sense?

and depending on the scenario I can realize I'm in a dangerous space to be dissociating severely (ie: driving,) and I'll try grounding techniques. (not always.) A lot of the times I really prefer the dissociation to the panic attacks.

I guess it doesn't really answer the initial post. My answer would be, it depends? Usually, yes. Though I think I've gotten more atuned to my body and it's reactions and such. There was definitely a point in my life where I was dissociating but I never realized it.

 

[zoie33]

Thanks Alis. Mine is very similar. I never lose time and I am just now becoming more aware of what dissociation is and when I do it. Pretty sad that it has taken me 50 years to discover this. I am so grateful that I finally have an understanding and knowledgeable T to help me through all of this.

 

[Lexie p]

Yes I experience dissociation and it feels like been zoomed somewhere inside of me and people voices go in and out. It is a light airy floaty feeling. I do not feel any emotions. I find I can't talk any length because it will happen in mid sentence and I feel like I am losing my train of thought and I don't finish the sentence. I see people in front of me but I am someplace else. I lose track of minutes here and there. It sort feels like I am in a trance. Driving I am zoned out. How I drive on auto pilot - I see everything but I am not connected to anything. It's a weird feeling that I can't control. Therapy seems to have triggered most episodes happening sometimes continuously. I don't know how I get things done but I do.