Dissociation......how do you come back and focus?

[Fahrenheit451]

Tonight we had the family over for Thanksgiving dinner (Canadian). I knew things were going to be rough today as I had multiple nightmares last night and my wife has a knee injury so couldn’t help out much. Every time I tried to sit with the family I was lost. I couldn’t follow the conversation or add anything to it. For me everything turns into one big blur of sound and sight. My family knows about my PTSD but I felt embarrassed that I had to keep going outside with the dog so I could get myself centred again. How does everyone else handle this when it happens?

 

[Tinyflame]

In my old days it was cigarettes, and as you said leaving. Sometimes walking fast and long. Or conversely, isolation. Sorry I can't recall much that's useful situationally at this moment. The dog was a good choice. Of course laughter, better company, safety. Sometomes you have to just make out the best you can, or keep busy, get breaks, and have an exit strategy.

Happy Thanksgiving. ??:)

 

[bellbird]

For staying present at the dinner table (my family doesn't know about my PTSD) I have a habit of digging a fingernail into the tip of my thumb.

Not an ideal method I suppose, but it can help me to return to the present without drawing attention to myself by being too obvious/noticeable.

Happy Thanksgiving from me, too :)

 

[Muttly]

I sometimes would put something in my pocket. Some token that would remind me of the now in a positive way. A rock from a place I had just visited, a little dog statue a friend had given me, that sort of thing. I'd reach into my pocket and squeeze it and focus on that and the feeling of it in my hand and the message of good present things.

 

[grit]

I think it depends what coping mechanism you need short or long term...quick or measured.
The fact you notice the tunnel vision is really good. I think at least for me, acknowledging my feelings to me is the most effective.bit puts things into perspective. Like I feel anger, rejected toward or by my mother now, but I know that is my history with her not right now. That brings me to reality- the antidote of trauma. If your feelings are not directed anyone in the room, then still acknowledge as I feel I am not seen or heard and check the body like I feel it as headache or stomach ache...so just being frank with your body and mind brings to the present.
Walking the dog is great if you are acknowledging and feeling rather than avoiding and evading your body and mind...it dies not work.

 

[Fahrenheit451]

I sometimes would put something in my pocket

That’s a great idea.

 

[MyWillow]

Cuddling my cats and dogs, heavy blankets, walking (seeing, touching, feeling and smelling leaves and flowers), talking about or imagining a lovely memory, sharing a special photo/video with my psydoc...

 

[Teasel]

Sense of smell helps me. I keep an olbas oil inhaler in my handbag for when I feel particularly foggy and want almost a jolt back to now.

And I spray my favourite perfume on the back of my hand when I'm going to be out and about or in a situation like you describe.

So that way I can smell the back of my hand fairly unobtrusively when I need a comfort / bringing back to the present kind of thing.

 

[IAHC]

Tonight we had the family over for Thanksgiving dinner (Canadian). I knew things were going to be rough today as I had multiple nightmares last night and my wife has a knee injury so couldn’t help out much. Every time I tried to sit with the family I was lost. I couldn’t follow the conversation or add anything to it. For me everything turns into one big blur of sound and sight. My family knows about my PTSD but I felt embarrassed that I had to keep going outside with the dog so I could get myself centred again. How does everyone else handle this when it happens?

So one thing that I’ve been doing that helps if using the 5 senses to bring me back to reality. It could look weird in front of other people but I’ve done it in classes, in public etc. what I’ll do is first count 5 things in the room of one color, if it’s blue then someone’s shirt, someone’s eyes, a dish, a marker, whatever in the room if blue. Then I’ll try to smell 5 different things (which isn’t always possible) but at a dinner you could count the different foods that you smell. Taste is difficult but if you could drink water or a beverage focus on the taste. Then I’ll try to touch and notice the next the texture of 5 different objects. Finally, since I think sound can be the hardest to pay attention to when I’m dissociating, try to notice 5 different sounds that aren’t the topic of conversation if that’s the trigger. So like a fridge running, dogs walking, people talking outside of the classroom. That tends to help me so I hope it might be useful!

 

[DharmaGirl]

So one thing that I’ve been doing that helps if using the 5 senses to bring me back to reality.

I do that too, @IAHC! It works really well. Otherwise, if it's uncomfortable for me, I just let myself be dissociated. It's a pleasant feeling for me, it's been with me as far back as I remember. I know it's not good for me, but it helps me get through things.

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes I think sometimes you just have to. Too much adrenaline or fight or flight is exhausting.

 

[tacit]

For me it was a bit of a combination of Muttly's & IAHC's. Sort of a script i would go through. Something like ..firstly reassuring myself that it is now, Sunday, this 20th day of October in 2019 & not back when 'whatever' (the trauma) was happening & that i know this to be true because i can see my ..& then acknowledging 5 blue items that are my own & that i could only have now & did not exist in the past. For example ..my blue watch on my wrist that i bought for myself because 'whatever', my blue jeans i am currently wearing that i bought at 'such & such', etc etc. My vision would clear up, as well as clarity of mind & would bring me back to being in the moment.
I think the key is finding personal connection with the present (tangible & undeniable). Hope that helps ?