Dissociation In Stores?

[eav]

Almost every time I go shopping, I think I dissociate. Things get foggy, start to kind of swim around. I used to think it was vertigo, but the therapist says it is panic attacks. I truly don't think I'm panicking at all, it isn't even that unpleasant as long as it is a store that I know my way around in--except for the fact that it makes shopping difficult. Sometimes when this happens and I'm in a location I don't know well, I have panicked and it was very difficult, I have ended up lost and had to rely on others. Does this happen to anyone else?

 

[therisa]

Yes, Eav, the last time it happened to me, was November 13th, in the juice aisle, of a local supermarket. I spent about 5 minutes wandered that aisle, before I realized, what was happening to me. Another time, when I was walking home, from the pharmacy, after picking a prescription, which I stood on a street corner, wondering how I got there for several moments, as the panic kicked into overdrive, almost becoming a full fledged panic attack. So you're not alone, in this.

 

[Cabernet88]

I have felt this way before while shopping. I have never described it as panic, but I do feel very odd like I'm not really there. However, at the same time, I feel like I want to get out of the store/mall as soon as I can--so I suppose that's the panic end of it.

 

[Promicarus]

Happens to me, as well. I believe what you're describing may fall into the category of what's called "depersonalization", and if I'm correct, it is considered a "panic reaction", even though not necessarily the same as what's commonly understood as a "panic reaction".

I see it as a way to escape without escaping--of escaping inward, and cutting oneself off from a dangerous environment.

Have you ever been diagnosed with agoraphobia? I wonder--I have.

It's often hard for me to remember what I've come for, or for matter to think clearly at all. Everyone's a potential threat, I tense, which is a self-fulfilling prophecy, because everyone naturally notices someone tense.

I used to be followed around by a squad of security guards whenever I entered a store. At least that's improved. Someone so tense and "on alert" is naturally assumed to be up to something nefarious, of course. But that scenario played out, snowballing into a "fight/flight" response, causing me to dash from stores, more than a few times, with security in pursuit, and stopping me.

It would be comical--except that it's not. Not when you're there. I understand completely.

I've learned to control it somewhat, to the point that I can pass relatively unnoticed (being 6'4" doesn't help). But even now, upon speaking to anyone, my vocal tension is obvious, making others obviously uncomfortable, bordering on concern.

 

[eav]

Thank you! I was feeling very alone in this. I didn't think of it as dissociation at all until I got lost in the city--had to text a friend to tell me how to get back to where I was supposed to be. I was gone 45 minutes when going half a block on the same side of the street to pick up a food order for our group. When I got back, obviously upset, a wise friend suggested that I have a real dissociation problem. I've been doing this for years, but always thought it was related to vertigo.

 

[Promicarus]

It does sound likely to be dissociation--especially if it's accompanied by a sense of imminent danger/threat. But if you do experience vertigo, as well, I hope you'll see a professional for a diagnosis, as vertigo can be caused by either an inner-ear disorder, or neurological disorder. If it were me, I'd want to get a differential diagnosis--especially as vertigo can be a symptom of a more serious illness. How long have you experienced vertigo, and what are your symptoms? Just curious.

If you've had it for a long time, and it's particularly pronounced at greater heights, then it's less likely to be associated with a serious neurological or inner-ear problem. But if you've just noticed that it developed relatively recently, I'd think that that would merit a visit to the GP (general practitioner, M.D.).

Best wishes.

 

[Ghostybear73]

It was happening to me because I panic in places with a lot of people. I have to have my husband do all the shopping, even though I do try at times.

 

[MissMacD]

Stores are tough for me too. I have had a fear of Corn Flakes from a childhood trauma and then once I walked into the supermarket and the entire entry way was filled with a display of them from floor to ceiling. I didn't know whether to cry or laugh. Lately I've done more of the latter. What's even better is that my abuser recently got married and her new name is Kellogg which is the brand of the cereal I despise. I now refer to her as Corn Flake so that I can think of her with a sense of humor instead of fear.

Oddly enough I've found moving to a huge city to be extremely comforting because when I need to disappear I can. I could never do that in a small town. There are some places that make me fell really anxious like big busy department stores and at times when I am taking crowded public transit. It's not natural to be in close proximity to so many other people.

 

[macca]

A few weeks back, when my symptoms were worse, I went to the supermarket to do 10 mins worth of shopping, and it took me an hour. Even though I was really familiar with the layout and where everything was. Not sure what was going on, though now when I go I don't like people walking up behind me.

 

[roaminggnome]

You are not alone on this one. These days I dissociate very quickly when in stores. It used to be such a simple task to shop. Now I only go to stores that are familiar to me. It is interesting to see what ends up in my cart when I don't have a list and am dissociating.

 

[eav]

@Promicarus I've had "vertigo" at least 15 years or so, I've talked with MDs about it, but don't seem to have any disease that would be causing it. I've had anxiety/PTSD symptoms most of my life. The therapist thinks the "vertigo" is just panic, we'll see what the psychiatrist thinks in a few weeks. I get dizzy, things get foggy and start to swim around. My sense of direction disappears--directions don't even make sense, I get lost.

I agree about the lists--I almost never shop without them! My memory is so poor, too, that lists are necessary.

 

[gone]

Ugh, I hate shopping, always space out and often leave empty handed. Recently I found an iPhone app that lets me make a list for every store I go to (called Easy Note). When I check an item off, it remains on the list (deselected), so I eventually build up a more or less complete list for every shop I have go to. That way I don't wander the aisles wondering what I'm supposed to be doing there... at least not so often.