Hi All,
I am posting this to talk about my distractibility and sensitivity in therapy.
So, I have CPTSD and ADHD. I have tried meds, can't take them.
In therapy I have already talked to my T about not just letting me ramble on and on, cause I will. At first she thought that I needed to "get it all out." But then I told her it was an ADHD thing and it actually feels good to be interrupted (in a validating way) and then guided into a focused session.
So, she adjusted and it has been great.
I place a large focus on my PTSD symptoms because that is what I get therapy for.
I cannot afford an ADHD coach in addition to my trauma T. I realize I need to give some attention to ADHD effects and manage them especially in my therapy work.
Recently, I noticed major distractibility and hypersensitivity in therapy.
My T was clearing her throat over and over and this was the only thing I could focus on (distraction and then hyper focus).
I mentioned it in a way I thought was subtle by asking if she needed water. She kind of got offended and said, "you dont need to take care of me." This lead to me disassociating because I could tell I had upset her and then the whole session was disconnected.
I am just now becoming aware of this and that it is my ADHD in action in therapy.
There have been multiple other times like this.
Her phone will go off on vibrate. She has to keep it set to vibrate as she uses it to buzz people in from downstairs.
One time she had a mint and that is all I could notice.
She has thought this was like a "perceived invalidation thing" and it kinda is, but I really just get hijacked by the external noise or action and then I feel anxiety.
Here is what I think:
"She keeps clearing her throat. Is she going to do that for the whole session? It is really distracting me. Why am I bothered? It is not even that loud. I hate myself. I cannot say anything. That will be rude. I don't want to waste my session."
I am very much like the dog in Up (squirrel!) except rather than happy it causes anxiety because I want to focus in therapy.
So, when the distraction comes from her it is socially awkward to bring it up, tricky to make it sound nice and not like I am a jerk.
I am really crossing my fingers that making her aware that this is just my ADDness and that I don't expect her to stop being human and walk on egg shells around me, will make this easier to handle. Maybe I could point distractibility out when it happens and we can move on, I don't know.
I will often be distracted by noises in the environment like outside the window or if a light is too bright and she is really accommodating about this because these things can be easily adjusted.
I am a teacher and one time a girl with ADHD requested that I not ever walk by her while she is working. I understood this completely.
I told my student that I physically cannot avoid walking by her, but that I can give her more space and maybe she could get head phones while doing her work.
I am trying to figure out strategies for me to use with distractibility and hyper sensitivity in therapy. Maybe all I can do is recognize it and tolerate it.
I also struggle with keen awareness of my environment (hypervigilience). So this can add to it.
Can anybody relate?
I am posting this to talk about my distractibility and sensitivity in therapy.
So, I have CPTSD and ADHD. I have tried meds, can't take them.
In therapy I have already talked to my T about not just letting me ramble on and on, cause I will. At first she thought that I needed to "get it all out." But then I told her it was an ADHD thing and it actually feels good to be interrupted (in a validating way) and then guided into a focused session.
So, she adjusted and it has been great.
I place a large focus on my PTSD symptoms because that is what I get therapy for.
I cannot afford an ADHD coach in addition to my trauma T. I realize I need to give some attention to ADHD effects and manage them especially in my therapy work.
Recently, I noticed major distractibility and hypersensitivity in therapy.
My T was clearing her throat over and over and this was the only thing I could focus on (distraction and then hyper focus).
I mentioned it in a way I thought was subtle by asking if she needed water. She kind of got offended and said, "you dont need to take care of me." This lead to me disassociating because I could tell I had upset her and then the whole session was disconnected.
I am just now becoming aware of this and that it is my ADHD in action in therapy.
There have been multiple other times like this.
Her phone will go off on vibrate. She has to keep it set to vibrate as she uses it to buzz people in from downstairs.
One time she had a mint and that is all I could notice.
She has thought this was like a "perceived invalidation thing" and it kinda is, but I really just get hijacked by the external noise or action and then I feel anxiety.
Here is what I think:
"She keeps clearing her throat. Is she going to do that for the whole session? It is really distracting me. Why am I bothered? It is not even that loud. I hate myself. I cannot say anything. That will be rude. I don't want to waste my session."
I am very much like the dog in Up (squirrel!) except rather than happy it causes anxiety because I want to focus in therapy.
So, when the distraction comes from her it is socially awkward to bring it up, tricky to make it sound nice and not like I am a jerk.
I am really crossing my fingers that making her aware that this is just my ADDness and that I don't expect her to stop being human and walk on egg shells around me, will make this easier to handle. Maybe I could point distractibility out when it happens and we can move on, I don't know.
I will often be distracted by noises in the environment like outside the window or if a light is too bright and she is really accommodating about this because these things can be easily adjusted.
I am a teacher and one time a girl with ADHD requested that I not ever walk by her while she is working. I understood this completely.
I told my student that I physically cannot avoid walking by her, but that I can give her more space and maybe she could get head phones while doing her work.
I am trying to figure out strategies for me to use with distractibility and hyper sensitivity in therapy. Maybe all I can do is recognize it and tolerate it.
I also struggle with keen awareness of my environment (hypervigilience). So this can add to it.
Can anybody relate?
