Do I have cPTSD

[medindexer]

Thank u kubash16 for your reassurance. I'll be seeing therapist tomorrow and I'll inform him (have told him I was going to check things out cptsd-wise).
My feelings on reading about PTSD and particularly cPTSD is that it is early days for it. It reminds me of the ME/Chronic fatigue syndrome story where so little is known of the pathology still after, what, 20+ years?
Better leave it there before it gets too long?

 

[Kubash16]

There’s quite a bit known about the pathology. From my understanding, it’s more of a disagreement on exact symptomolagy (sp?) because the scope is pretty large and traditional PTSD does cover a decent amount of it already. There’s also discrepancy over it compared to Borderline. But there are some key differences.

 

[Jade-]

What symptoms are you experiencing @medindexer that have you considering cPTSD?

 

[Sideways]

I obviously have depression now, but I'm wanting to know if it's in a background of psychological trauma or not. If trauma is important in my case, then maybe that might impact on treatment considerations.

So, trauma is important to your case. You found the situation you were living in traumatic (makes sense - someone threatening me with a knife would produce a similar response). It’s relevant. Ptsd or not, your experience is relevant.

Dealing with the impact that trauma has had on your mental health? Absolutely that’s a potentially crucial goal for you long term.

Does that mean its a case of ptsd? Let alone complex ptsd? Nope. May be. May not be.

But loads of people develop all manner of mental illnesses as a direct result of trauma, without ptsd being part of their diagnosis.

Sounds like you have good reason to think that your traumatic experience with your ex is responsible for the depression you’re currently experiencing. It may be that you meet the criteria of major depressive disorder.

But just because trauma may have been the cause of your mental health status? Doesn’t mean ptsd (or any specialised form of it) must ergo be part of your diagnosis. You may have Depression from the traumatic experience. You wouldn’t be the first person to develop Depression (without ptsd) as a result of trauma - that’s actually pretty common. And pretty significant and disabling in its iwn right. Some people don’t survive a Major Depressive Episode, so it’s more than enough to have on your plate.

 

[Kubash16]

Hi @medindexer, have you talked to your T?

 

[medindexer]

Yes, I have talked to him. He knows about my questioning of trauma, and that I am going to visit a trauma centre to be assessed/ask questions. He knows I don't have PTSD. I came here to see if it was a subtle form of post traumatic events

I appreciate your continuing advice. It's difficult for me (surprise). How do you assess the impact of being born without mum being able to take care (but with no idea whether she was mentally or physically unwell), living with her through her depression years (my teens), sometimes looking after her when she was drugged into semi-consciousness - I still remember her face falling into a plate beans on toast that I'd made her (laugh if it wasn't so bad).
The years of living with a wife who clearly was not happy with me nor trusted me however I tried - and then the disaster of her paranoid psychosis and following 4 years of what seemed like walking on eggshells to not upset her. There were many single events that were relatively extreme (other than the knife). When someone watches you make a cup of team and drop a sweetener in to ensure you are not poisoning her - even when I made tea for myself, when I put a sweetener in, I would recall her response.
Is that trauma or just stress - I don't know. Looking up some decent sites like MIND I see....
.....you may be particularly likely to experience what some people call an 'emotional flashback', in which you have intense feelings that you originally felt during the trauma, such as fear, shame, sadness or despair. You might react to events in the present as if they are causing these feelings, without realising that you are having a flashback.
That's how I feel quite often. Not every minute or day. It feels as if I'm in her hold. I need to stop feel sorry for or excusing her I think, for what she's done.
Don't worry if you think you can't help any more. Cheers

 

[Mach123]

Is your therapist a trauma specialist? You are wasting your time if not IMO. I just had an MRI on my prostate and they gave me a prognostication based on a picture that I have a 4 of 5 chance I have cancer.

Based on your story there is a pretty good chance your trauma caused PTSD if you have symptoms. Symptoms + trauma = x. Now solve for x.

I'm not an expert but I have cPTSD?

Your story was terrible, very much like what happened in my family, my moms childhood trauma came to get her when she was in her forties and I watched her holding my dad at knife point. (My opinion of what happened). Mom was gone. I was 12.

That's what generational trauma looks like.
Good luck and thanks.

 

[medindexer]

I appreciate all of you people's input. Not surprisingly I am getting mixed message as it's hardly a science. I have found that some people who have obvious PTSD (either from childhood event or extremely severe acute adult events), may feel that their 'ownership of the condition PTSD or cPTSD is being diluted by others (and I don't mean that criticallly - all of us here are suffering from something or other). None of us I hope is saying they are suffering more than anyone else. We are here to get support from others surely. All I know is that for 4 years following her illness (not to mention before it) what happened behind our door was continual, scary, depressing and perhaps cumulative in its effect - all without any support from professionals - nor friends who could not appreciate it.
I'm questioning if it's possibly a less common, but non-the-less form of cPTSD.

 

[Kubash16]

No one here is denying the possibility, we just can’t be the ones to diagnose you. Especially since we don’t know all of your symptoms.

A lot of us can get pretty defensive when others claim to have something but haven’t actually been diagnosed. This is because of the people who claim to have PTSD from the election, or from some subtype of music, none of which meet the actual criteria. The more people who claim to have PTSD when they in fact don’t, the harder it is for those who do to admit they have it and seek help and the less seriously doctors and others will take them. It gets incredibly frustrating to be looked at like okay ya you had something stressful, well I did too but I don’t have anything.

I’m curious as to why your therapist says you don’t have it, that could be an indicator that you don’t meet the criteria. That doesn’t invalidate what you went through at all, or that you have nothing wrong. It only means this particular group of symptoms does not fit well for you.

You are still welcome to post and ask for feedback.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

He knows I don't have PTSD. I came here to see if it was a subtle form of post traumatic events

The thing is, CPTSD is a form of PTSD. You can't have CPTSD without PTSD. CPTSD is also generally considered to be much worse than PTSD, and much harder to resolve (needing long-term, phase-oriented treatment not to dissimilar to the sort of treatment used for folks like me who have DID, which is considered the most severe form of PTSD).

I'm not trying to discount the difficulty of what you went through. But I'm having trouble with this disconnect here.

I have found that some people who have obvious PTSD (either from childhood event or extremely severe acute adult events), may feel that their 'ownership of the condition PTSD or cPTSD is being diluted by others (and I don't mean that criticallly - all of us here are suffering from something or other).

Yes, you are right. I'm having trouble with this. I struggle to be taken seriously with my illness, and struggle with this because sometimes it feels like others want the label for external gain. I understand that everyone wants an explanation for why they are suffering. I understand that things feel intense and difficult and without support, illness is hard, whatever it is. But I also know that it feels a little like how it has become en vogue to claim celiac disease / gluten intolerance, which has made it increasingly hard for those of us who are actually gluten intolerant to be taken seriously, as people assume we are just on a diet.

 

[mylunareclipse]

I am sorry you have been through such hard times.
It seems to me like there’s a lot more than just your wife to your story. You have been in therapy for only seven months. I think sometimes it takes longer than that for the the full picture of symptoms to come into light to the therapist. I think you should do whatever helps you. If reading about treatment of PTSD or CPTSD helps you then you should go ahead and read and see what you can apply to your own healing.
I think the major issue here is do you feel heard by your therapist? Is he someone who can help you?
I think diagnosis are I a way human-defined and do not take away from what you are experiencing. After all people coming back from war a few decades ago were called “stressed” and nowadays would have a diagnosis of PTSD. Aka they wouldn’t fit the diagnosis then (coz there was none) but they would fit in now.
You don’t have to search for other people’s validation for your experience. What you’ve been through sounds awful and I hope with time you with be able to heal, hopefully with the help of a professional as well.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I think, ignore if you want?, that if you have to stretch to fit your experience into the trauma required by PTSD, then it isn't PTSD. Just my opinion. If you don't have the symptoms required by PTSD, you don't have it. Good luck with your trauma eval, I hope to God you don't have it. It's the worst thing that every happened to me and it's lucky I'm alive. My brother had it too, and suicided 4 years ago in my shop after multiple attempts.