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Do sex jokes or sexual "humor" upset you?

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I think one of them in a hopeless person to even think about changing, as he was a bar tender by trade for most of his life, after having been in the Service. My hat goes off to ANYONE who has been in the Service. Nothing against folks who have been or are in the Service. However, I do know, from what all my male relatives have told me about being in the Service, that a lot of course language and ideas get germinated there. It is a rough life, so it demands rough language and ideas to deal with it. I understand that.

However, being a bar tender is a different story. I don't think the person has to take the bar with them wherever they go. I think it is a place they can choose to leave behind. None the less, I doubt this fellow will. It seems too ingrained in him. It is just about 95% of the words that come out of his mouth. The other 5% are acts of kindness, thankfully, his one redeeming feature. The one thing I can and do admire him for, that he seems to want to help the 90 year olds usually, except for the one that he picks on. If only he would leave that poor fellow alone!
 
Well, today was one of the toughest things I have ever felt I had to do. I spoke to this man I have mentioned here above who HATES me and told him about my calendar that had a notation about VJ Day on it on yesterday's date. I tried to show it to him too, but he sat there like a stone and shunned me, as he usually does. Anyway, long story short, he hates me and has not spoken to me for several months. I don't feel I deserve this, because what I said, I didn't even say to him. None the less, he is mad at me because of something I said to someone else, which resulted in everyone in our group getting a lecture. The lecture was that people have the right to attend the Senior Center without being teased. You guessed it, he had been teasing me that day, and she had been too.

Anyway, I was trying to be nice today, as he had been upset yesterday on VJ Day that nothing was on the news about it, and no one had said anything about it. (He served in WW II, and VJ DAY is the day Japan surrendered, in case no one knows). Anyway, I tried. I can't make him like me or forgive me. I can't change him. I simply tried to be kind to him, to show him that I don't hate him like he hates me. (I've been told that he hates me). I tried to show him that I care. All I can do is try, the rest is up to him and God. It is in God's hands now!
 
I've read this entire thread and I'd probably be put off too. I know I wouldn't say anything to them unless my daughter was there... Im like an out of control mama bear when it comes to her.

Was the bus full or could you have changed seats? It would be nice to think all of society would use their brains and know what is and what isn't appropriate but that's just not the case...sadly.

I agree with member who said HEADPHONES!!
 
Actually, no, sadly I really had no other choice of seating on the bus. If I had known that they would sit directly behind me, I could have chosen a different seat when I first got on the bus, before they boarded it. A las, I did not realize where they would choose to sit and so was just the unwitting recipient of whatever was going to choose to sit so close behind me.

There is a girl who was sitting directly behind them, who is wheelchair bound. She has to sit in the far back of the bus, due to that being the place where they secure wheelchairs. I made arrangements to sit in the seat that they chose to sit in, next time, so that I could be close to her and carry on a conversation with her. If I have someone to talk with, even if they carry on as they did this time, I can be distracted by her. I would then hopefully not be aware of their conversation. I would be instead into my conversation with her and thus be able to ignore anything of their conversation that might spill over into ours.
 
I have to say, just in general, to everyone, that this idea of "practicing tolerance" really sticks in my craw. I have had time to think about it for a few days and I have come to the conclusion that practicing tolerance is not in my or anyone else's best interests. I don't even think that tolerating this sort of thing helps those who do it particularly, since it seems obvious to me that they offend far more people than they don't (by the number of negative replies to this sort of thing here, as opposed to the few positive ones). If the percentages here mirror the real world at all, there seem to be far more people that are turned off by this sort of thing than there are folks who tolerate it or are not bothered by it.

None the less, I have to be realistic too. I realize that I will not be able to control this in others, no matter where I go, even if I were to speak out against it, and I doubt I would have the guts to do so anyway.

I agree, the best solution mentioned so far is the one suggesting HEADPHONES. So I guess it is time for me to go shopping....
 
From your history with these men, I think they are doing it to get your goat, and the best thing you could do is pretend you don't hear. Don't engage with them at all anywhere. They are doing it on purpose to get you back for reporting bullying, in my opinion, so it would be better to put on headphones and pretend they don't exist. I think anything you do will egg them on, rather than change the situation. Amazon has noise blocking earbuds for about 6 bucks.
 
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