Sexual Assault Do you ever get over being overly sensitive about doctors and ob/gyn visits?

[SeekingAfrica]

I have been through SA and rape as a child, and then as an adult about 7 years ago. While I first started dealing with it 7 years ago I found myself really freaked out about OB/gyn visits, blood tests and altogether doctor visits somehow. Also I am hyper-sensitive to tough of strangers to places that I find too personal. Of course gyno goes into that, but I mean also things like...my stomach for example. Or, I still haven't brought myself to check a really bad hamstring pull because of which part the back or inside of my legs might need to be check or touched.

I got over my general fear after a whole lot of physical therapy that I just had to do and deal with. But I am organizing my important documents, and I have this list of health things that I need to check this year, including the general yearly gyno full check up. While organizing documents I found results of an old gyno visit and blood test that I took 3 years ago and it send me into really long and foggy panic attack. I practically forgot time and space for a while. I am still trying to remember what else was I planning to do today. Do you ever get over being that sensitive to gyno after many times or something(exposure...), or is it always something that you just bite your teeth and get through? Or is it just me that is that hypersensitive?

 

[EveHarrington]

I'm getting sick just reading your post!

(Is that an answer to your question?)

My first/only OB/GYN.....she was ok, her office staff treated me like shit. It was a degrading experience.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

I'm getting sick just reading your post!

(Is that an answer to your question?)

My first/only OB...

Thank you for responding. I'm so sorry about your experience! I feel doctors or staff or whoever, can be sometimes insensitive to anxiety, because it's not a physical thing you can explain.
My first exam was that one 3 years ago. I specifically called ahead to make sure they scheduled me with the woman of the 2 doctors. Waited hour and a half and then when they called me in turned out the mixed the dates and scheduled me with the male OB/gyn. I had been nervous for weeks until the appointment and figured I should just get it over with. It was still fine, but fine in the "I got through it" way. And my anxiety this year is way worse than it was then. This will take mental preparation.

 

[Pakadlangitok]

Never go. I refuse to go to any dr because I cannot stand to be touched. My therapist wrote a letter that if I had to be seen, they cannot touch me or if they have to use gloves. I cannot stand skin to skin. Never.

 

[Joan]

i just avoid.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

At one time I felt sort of safe with a female ob/gyn who seemed to really care about my past experiences and went out of her way to make it a comfortable space. She never touched without first explaining where and why, warmed up all the instruments, offered alternative suggestions for things that were much cheaper than prescription things, etc. A real diamond in the rough.

However, she left and the others I tried were much less compassionate. Then I experienced some other medical professionals who lacked competence in the least of things, like telling me one thing (that I needed a complete shoulder replacement to ever experience pain relief) and then documenting the opposite of what he said (that no surgery was recommended at this time....like WTF??!! - by the way, I had no surgery and the pain left w/ full range of motion restored)...a general practitioner telling me I'm healthy based on blood work, yet I was weighing in at 324 lbs. and was mostly bed ridden, and another ob/gyn who wasn't mindful of trauma, at all, nor seemed interested in becoming more mindful as I tried to explain. I refuse to pay that high of a price to someone only to be made to feel as shitty as some of them made me feel.

I no longer do their "wellness" checks like I did. I used to be required to do certain things as a state employee regarding their definition of wellness and such, but now that I'm free of that prison, I no longer partake. Their ideas of wellness and mine stopped jiving a long time ago when they were making me much more ill than I would have been without their "help".

Living well via what I choose to consume and fueling my body with only the things it can healthily recognize and process has offered me more wellness than I recall was ever found through their avenues. Also, seeking help from the some of the old school (mostly called "alternative") methods of healing have proven to be much more helpful than typical allopathic methods for my biology. And don't get me started about being expected to have your boobs painfully smashed between that damn machine they have. If you do happen to have tumors and such, they'll get smashed and that'll cause them to multiply and grow, correct? How can that ever be viewed as a wise move?

 

[Julesy]

Okay, so I totally get this. It freaks me out too, especially when I'm in symptom or having trouble with dissociating or am triggered, which occurs quite often in this type of exam, unfortunately. As a child, after I was abused my parents tricked me into going to the pediatrician. They told me they we're taking me to get an itchy skin rash on me feet checked out when in reality, I had to strip down in front of every one (why when we're just checking my feet?) and then invasively examined for any signs of the SA. At 6 years old, I felt like a specimen to be displayed and coldly examined---it was almost as traumatizing as the initial SA itself.

So, I do get triggered nowadays with these exams. What I've done recently is write a letter to the doc and her staff beforehand, explaining (without a ton of detail) that I have a history of SA and that, in the interest of trauma-informed care, I wanted to let them know this so this so they can proceed with the exam in a less-triggering manner. Nowadays a lot of docs and medical folks are trained in trauma-informed care so they know what it means and, once notified, can make the necessary accomodations. But they won't know to do this if we don't speak up and tell them this is what we need.

I encourage you to think about doing this not only with your ob-gyn, but with all your docs who will potentially touch your body, just have it as part of your chart. If you don't want to write a letter you could easily put a sentence or two on the patient information forms they give you to fill out before the appointment. Something simple would suffice like: (Handle with) TRAUMA INFORMED CARE: I have a history of SA and ask you to consider this fact during the course of my treatment. Thank you.

The more we communicate openly, the more we can be helped and ultimately healed. Take good care, Friends.

 

[Julesy]

Hey, one other thought on this: public health clinics, I have found, tend to have more of a handle on this kind of thing than even most private practice docs. I think it's because they deal with more folks who have potentially been exposed to traumatic events in their lives and they are trained to work within the parameters of that. I have been to both private practice docs and now go to a public health clinic and the public clinic even has a question on their patient intake form that asks specifically about past abuse. Might be a good option to consider for gyn care visits if nothing else. Planned Parenthood is great with this as are many other community health centers.

Just a thought. Thanks!

 

[SeekingAfrica]

At one time I felt sort of safe with a female ob/gyn who seemed to really care about my past...

Wow, thank you! This was so comprehensive answer! That really helps. I like the idea of a letter. I used to be from the people that never go to the doctor, unless they really have to. That's how I was brought up, that's what my parents do. But they do it to an extreme, they don't even go when clearly there is an issue and now that they are getting older it's really putting a toll on their health. So I've learned to balance in that- I use home remedies, essential oils and home-made beauty care sometimes, but on the other hand I do go to doctor when I feel there's a real issue. That's personal preference. However I'm now having a tough year and numerous issues and I'm fighting between my anxiety from doctor visits and my anxiety about the toll this amount of stress and many smaller issues will cause to my overall health. So I've decided that in the next calendar year I'll check each health issue I'm having plus few overall checks of my general condition. Many things are off and I can use the help in figuring out how to improve my health more. Especially that I go to ballet and if you ignore injury that actually needs treatment(there are pulls and overexerting of things that can heal by rest, of course) then if can become a lot worse before you know it because of the constant dancing over it.

As far as public versus private, I had private insurance for the past few years. I tried few places my insurance work with and found one I'm really comfortable with. I went there for physical treatment and plan to continue that, because now I know my physiotherapist there and I trust him. But for OB/gyn I need to try new one now and that's stressful. Public is not an option yet, I'm a foreigner, but by anything I've heard from people around me, I'm not sure it's any better where I am.

However I do really like the idea about the letter explaining what you need of the doctors. May be I'll utilize that. Would your insurance or anyone else but the doctors have any access to that information though?

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Hey, one other thought on this: public health clinics, I have found, tend to have more of a handle on th...

Answered this in the previous post, answering to the person that posted above you, sorry! I kind of merged my thoughts on all I read:). So yeah, it's above. Thank you for the note.

@Tornadic Thoughts Oh, one more thought. When I mentioned I'm doing few more overall checks, I also mean things like...allergies analysis, and test which blood type I am(yes, somehow, I never checked that. Logically I know the probable answer but I want it confirmed.). As I finally started organizing and taking care of myself after moving out on my own, I realized ...I'm on my own now. In foreign country. I'm an adult now, and I want to be informed about all I can possibly know. So when emergencies happen I'm not completely blindsided. Especially blood type, I feel that's important. So it's not just about checks, but just having the information to deal better with my health.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

Ideally the info would not be made known to others. We have HIPPA laws in the US that are supposed to protect that kind of thing from happening. Not sure how it's handled in other countries. I fully support seeking them out for emergency and injury/urgent needs, but learned through various direct experiences that I can't rely on them to maintain the level of wellness I've achieved without them. It seemed some of the checks were more for the benefit of what they tried to sell me as a follow-up than it was to ensure my actual wellness. The benefits of hearing varied experiences is one of the reasons I love this place. Wishing you much wellness.