Do You Experience This

[Gloww33]

I am so sorry if this is confusing, but thought maybe someone could help? Sometimes I experience false flashbacks or maybe it's day dream, or I disassociate about stuff that never happened and it is traumatizing where my son is dying or just extreme situations. It is like my body remembers trauma, and I go through the emotions like it just happened, such as crying and stress and everything that would be appropriate for that situation, but it never happened. It is like my body remembers something really bad, and I have physical symptoms, but because my brain does;t recall the memory it makes it up as my body experiences the sensation.

I should also add, I am starting to recall other memories that I confirmed did happen with my older brother, like our parents drugging us to sleep in the day.....not sure if that has something to do with it or not.

 

[jmni]

I have. I think it's a combination of real trauma that you have experienced and your actual fears. You might fear that you are incompetent to protect your family. But you have all this other truama and your body is responding in the form of flashbacks, etc.

 

[stuff]

Yes. I think it has to do with my own fears and the idea that if horrible things have happened to me so far, there is nothing to stop more horrible things from happening to me. I find that in itself kind of traumatizing.

 

[Friday]

That's pretty normal in parenting-land without PTSD. I have yet to meet a single parent who -with at least their first kid- didn't go through 0-60 worst case imaginings at least once, and more often, hundreds of times. More real life exposure stuff, the more often your kid doesn't die, get abducted, suffer traumatic brain injury from running into a corner or a wall (jeez, kid, look where you're going), the more relaxed one gets about the possibility of it. Also, the more often they get sniffles, stitches, broken hearts, etc... The less value we place on how !!! the event actually is. Like, okay. That might need a band-aid if it doesn't stop in a minute. Instead of OMG!!! You're bleeding!!! To the ER! Should we call an Ambulance? I want the top hand surgeon to check for any sign of... And breathe.

 

[risingsun]

I'm not sure if this relates or not. But I notice in my dreamworld that my past (before PTSD) is presented to me as a horrifying nightmare. I dream of people that I've known and places I've been but in the dreams they are turned into horrible nightmares. It's like I'm seeing my past in such a frightening way and it gets all jumbled up with my traumas and my present situation. So its like I'm seeing my past through "PTSD" colored glasses in my dreamworld. Its usually a sense of regret, fear, cruelty from others, horror and a high sense of disturbance in the dreams. But I have to keep the faith that they will go away. They will.

So it relates in a way that they are "false flashbacks," but rather in the dreamworld. But its horrifying because I'm frightened to go to sleep each night and in the morning, I run out of the room in terror. Anyway, thought I would share that. I am sorry for all that you are experiencing right now. My prayers are with you, Rising Sun.

 

[Gloww33]

Thanks for your thoughts everyone