Poll Do You Feel Safe Around Law-enforcement Officers?

[Kefira]

Don't commit crimes and you won't have to worry about the cops.

More like don't commit crimes and don't have the audacity to report crimes committed to you. I was first raped when I was 14. A couple months later I broke down and told a teacher, who told our school's assigned officer, who bullied me into reporting. Seriously. The whole "If you don't grow up and do your duty to report this, he will hurt someone else and that will be on your hands" bit. So he took me to file a complaint in the county where the incident occurred, where they sat me down (at a point where I couldn't even physically talk about what had happened without completely shutting down- I was NOT ready to do anything remotely like this) with two male officers. The officers then proceeded not to listen to much of anything I said, and not to try to get answers for the things it was obvious I couldn't say (because I would make half a sentence and break down in tears). By the end they were humiliating me and saying I had wasted their time, because I had gone out with my assailant that night, and I had kissed him willingly. You know, before that whole he then proceeded to threaten me with a knife and rape me thing. Obviously the only solution was still 'buyer's remorse': the term used to my face. All of this, also, without indicating to the parents of a minor that it was occurring, so I was completely on my own.

Before this I had volunteered for several years with the police in the town where my school was located, teaching elementary children basic safety (know your parent's number, your address, basic traffic laws so you can walk safely from A to B). The man who raped me was an EMT. It was a small town and once they found out who I had identified I received a lot of cold shoulders from the officers.

All of this led fairly directly to me not reporting my subsequent long term abuse. And when my friend date raped me two years ago my immediate thought when considering whether there was anything I could do was that I didn't want to be explaining to two male officers under the assumption I was out for some sort of revenge why I was accusing my best friend, someone I spent time with alone often, of raping me. Particularly when I went to his home willingly, alone, at night.

I have met some officers who have been wonderful and compassionate. But these are not the people I have had to deal with in an official manner.

 

[Karen12]

Police have helped me when I needed it, my interactions with them have been good. Yes, I feel safe around them.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Do you know what (many) cops think of the mentally ill? The next time you need to deal with the cops will you have your guard down as you assume they are one of the ones who doesn't mistreat the mentally ill? I won't. They don't deserve my trust.

I was in medical crisis and a cop didn't believe me, as he thought I was simply "mental". His actions could have killed me.

If I ever deal with the cops, it's zipped lips until I get a lawyer, even if I'm innocent. I will NOT have my freedom taken from me because they know I have a mental disorder and think they can treat me poorly.

 

[sun seeker]

Don't commit crimes and you won't have to worry about the cops.

That's just not true. Ask all the innocent taser victims over the last ten years or so. Ask the victims of torture.

I'm shocked, nauseous, badly triggered by this comment. I had to say something, but I'm going to stop reading this thread now. It's just too much.

 

[Friday]

Because I regret not speaking up more than I regret staying silent...

Please remember that it's as difficult to hear 'all cops are _______' as it is to hear 'all women are c*nts' or 'all men are rapists', or any other 'my abuser was a cop/woman/man/black/white/parent/etc... So I've transferred my fear and hatred of one (or more) persons to the entire group they belong to'. Cops get PTSD, too, and this is their "safe" place, too. Being hated isn't an easy thing to wear. Especially when you're being hated for something you would never do, and it smacks you in the face somewhere you weren't expecting it. People's emotions are raw, here. Goes with PTSD. And generalizations sting. Whether it's 'don't break the law' or 'cops aren't safe people'.

Not saying anyone is wrong here, generalization cut both ways, just a gentle reminder.

 

[Recovery4Me]

A vocation has not done the horrific crimes or given gracious life saving aid to me, it was the "people" within those vocations. Some have had more power than others, some were just empowered through their hearts.

Black and white thinking...is dangerous.

 

[therisa]

@FridayJones I felt threaten, by my first encountered, with this constable, I was mere meters, from my apartment, when he stopped me, on the sidewalk. I wish, I had gotten his name and badge number, to report his misconduct, to his superiors. Except, I don't expect, any action would have taken against him, as this regional police force, is notorious for its negative actions towards minorities, like the LGBT community.

 

[Friday]

@therisa I'm sure you did, and for clarity, I'm really not trying to shut anyone down or say that abuse by cops doesn't happen! At all. In some cases it's at the institutional level. That's real, and it's valid.

I'm not sure how to accurately best say this... Where I get concerned is where our fears are invalid (all women, all men, all cops, all gay people, all black people, all fat people, all Jews, all whomever....) and we start validating those fears instead of looking at them rationally, and moreover defending them and attacking the group itself. Instead of looking at how valid or invalid the fear is, it becomes a ____bashing.

It seems like with most abusers the understanding that hating &/or fearing a whole sex, race, religions, sexual orientation, profession, etc... Is irrational / something to work against / heal from / generally unhealthy. But with police? People feel free to get eaten alive by their hatred and fears. I think because they're an "okay" group to hate. Because "everyone" hates them & irrational fears keep being re validated over and over. It just makes me very nervous.

And then you have a situation like the above.

I might should have said nothing. Still not sure.

 

[Blue Survivor]

Wow, I feel like I answered one general question, and then asked another and suddenly everyone is jumping down my throat. Thanks for the assumptions guys, I thought this place was for support!

To clarify - in general I feel like 'bad' people (NOT those who were not helped by the cops, and NOT those who were beaten or worse by cops) tend to dislike or not trust them. That's it. I am talking about the people who keep speeding or driving drunk or stealing...they are never happy to see a cop because they know they will be busted.

On to those who misunderstood me...I am sorry. With everything going on now (Ferguson) I assumed this was a general discussion about cops and how the people today feel about them. I never intended to trigger anyone. I have a family member who was married to a cop for 2 decades, he beat the hell out her and nearly killed her and the guy's cops friends just turned a blind eye. So of course I know there are people who have had negative experiences with cops. But I thought this was a general discussion about people & their views on the police.

 

[scout86]

@FridayJones , personally, I think you did fine.

It's really easy to get sucked in to all the messages the PTSD sends us and assume that they are true. It's really easy for anyone to generalize anyway. It's easy to think, "I got hit by a car while wearing blue shoes, I'm NEVER wearing blue shoes ever again!" Looking out for cars is valid. Blue shoes? Not so much. "I had a horrendous experience with a police officer/man/woman, blue shoe salesperson" is valid. "Never ever again" maybe not so much.

 

[Recovery4Me]

@FridayJones If positive change is going to happen, it must start with post such as yours and unity of us as a people. It is hard to be rejected and you showed courage.

Please remember that it's as difficult to hear 'all cops are _______' as it is to hear 'all women are c*nts' or 'all men are rapists', or any other 'my abuser was a cop/woman/man/black/white/parent/etc..

Well stated!

Anyone can point fingers in justifiable hatred or wrongs...as we or someone we know & treasure have suffered wrongly. However, we can not stop hatred by hating.


"We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. "
~Albert Einstein

 

[darrenS]

ive had both good and bad experiences....i have met cops who were crooked to the bone, ive been set up and nearly killed by a corrupt cop, but then i have met some fantastic cops , sure most are like procedural robots , but in the US we have made them that way with threats of law suits etc .

I dont have an opinion on Ferguson - but having been caught up in riot situations and gang situations i can understand cops making mistakes. I could not do their job.

I do think the current discussions are important as they are shining the light on how cops in the US handle conflict etc , only yesterday a homeless man was shot on Hollywood blvd as he pulled a pocket knife...but then you look at the video of how cops handle the situation in Brisbane Aus - and that should be what happens...they took ninety minutes to disarm a gunman ...no one was shot ...no one was hurt an the gun was not loaded. I remeber as a kid , aussies cops never carried guns , and they uually just gave you a good clip across the ear...police violence ..sure...but it was better than having a lifelong conviction. I think police training has precipitated their removal and the loss of connection to the community.