Do You Find Yourself Dislike Being Touched?

[Froggie]

For me it really depends on the person and I have to be the first one to show that I'm ok with the touch or just being close to me.

 

[ISupportHer]

Funny that this thread popped up on the intro area.

This kind of came up in our house yesterday. My wife was facing the counter in the kitchen, she knew I was there, we were talking. I reached around and put my hand across the top of her chest and laid my head on the back of her shoulder as a hug and she withdrew from me. There was a time I would not have understood this. She did come to me hours later to make sure I understood why. That she "has a thing" about being approached from behind.

Did anyone see a news report a month or so ago here in the States about what guys want in relationships? It said that a big satisfier for guys in a relationship is cuddling. LOL, some joked here on the news show that the cuddling was just a means to an end for guys, if you catch my drift.

As a husband, I miss the touching so very much. The TH I first saw said I should show her my "presence" when she is withdrawn by using touch. A gentle touch on her forearm or the back of her shoulder as I walk by. LOL, well I found that is not always a good idea. As I read about PTSD and depression, I see the reason behind behaviors many times. I think that is the key to not letting things get to you. In this situation and so many other things in life. I see the lack of physical touch as my honoring her boundaries, a GOOD thing, instead of dwelling on it as a negative. Not that I am not human and try to still "reach out" literally and figuratively.

ISH

 

[OKRADLAK]

As you can see in last post, I hate it. But recently I have been craving being held. If I were a man, I might go to the phone book and hire someone to just hold me, it's that bad. To be held, carressed, held tightly..........it's awful.

 

[pontifixmax]

Wonder if dislike being touch like hugging, or sit/stand right next to you that have physically contact, or touch your head anything? any of those make you antsy? or anxious or what? I often find myself dislike to be touch it makes me uncomfortable. Any thoughts or sharing?

I'm not a fan of being touched either, especially when its unexpected. Its happened a number of times where a friend has come up behind me and clapped me on the shoulder or the back and I jump out of my skin, followed by wheeling around quickly to face whoever's behind me, expecting a threat. Needless to say they are startled at my reaction and they look at me like I'm weird or something for reacting this way. Even when someone's touch is expected I tend to freeze up, becoming very rigid and wooden. With my ex girlfriend it took along time to even share a bed with her and not react to her touching me in my sleep. Once I almost punched her in the face when she touched me while I was sleeping. Luckily she got out of the way in time but I still feel badly about it to this day.

 

[ProductOfSociety]

A lady touched my hand at the grocery store. It really took my all to not flip out on her.
I have been really on edge lately.

 

[pontifixmax]

An attractive young woman I work with keeps touching me, the occasional casual stroke of my arm, on my back etc. I try not to flinch but like I said I cannot help but freeze up. Perhaps I'm reading into it but I cannot help but wonder if she's flirting with me. I'm terrible at reading the signs to do with such things. Anyways she really is very nice so I don't want to put her off, platonically or otherwise, with vibes that could be construed as unfriendly. Its not her fault. I'm just not comfortable with being touched is all.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

I give off a very frosty atmosphere to anyone that breaks the rules regarding my body space whether they know them or not, which makes me look like an icequeen. When I am ready for physical contact though and feel safe, I genuinely enjoy it and it really helps to heal some of my trauma by opening up to another human being, it shows I am still capable of trusting people.

I, too, have a thing about people invading my space, and have been told that I seem stern, until someone gets to know me. They are suprised to find that I'm actually nice! I was married 4 times, and finally realized that I cannot have anyone that close. I can be the one to reach out and hug, but don't come towards me with open arms! I do not trust people as a rule, but because I 'read' people very well, I've gotten so I can avoid contact with those who have a negative 'vibe'.

I was so afraid of not wanting to touch my own children, that I nursed them both, without a bottle in the house. Thankfully, I am able to hug my son with only positive feelings, and my little girl was quite the hugger before she died. Couldn't talk, but she sure could feel and show love!

I feel a lot of guilt that I live with my parents and can't bring myself to hug them very often. I know it's a fact that we 'need' touch. But, there was no touch, no love expressed in our home, and now that they are elderly, I still can't do it. I can talk to my dad, but mother is here but absent, as she has been my whole life. I can also accept hugs from children, as they are innocent, and free of motives, except love!

My son is a loving, compassionate man, and is openly lovable, and receptive to love. Part of that is because his father is a Greek immigrant, and they are very huggy people! For that, I am very thankful!

 

[Helen Melancholy]

I actually really like touching, I casually touch people all the time but I HATE being touched, unless I'm in a relationship or great friends with the said person I hate them being in my space. I yelled at an acquaintance friend the other day because he was standing straight in front of me only 5 inches away it felt like. I don't feel uncomfortable in small places, just when others are closing me in. even when people go to rub my shoulders or anything I feel stiffer then before and it doesn't feel good, just uncomfortable. Even hugs sometimes, I try to deflect them with half hugs or I just pretend I have to go and break away fast.

 

[Anna]

With me it is black and white. Either too intimate or I push people away. There are no grey boundaries in between.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

In the words of Clementine in "Eternal Sunshine...", more than once I have wanted to scream "GET THE F**K AWAY FROM ME!!!" at random people.

I HATE to be touched. I interpret all touch (except from family members) as sexual rather than friendly. It makes me feel dirty and violated.

If I wasn't horribly allergic to smoke, I'd use the cigarette trick ;-)

 

[Loloma]

I only like being touched by my kids and very close friends. Apart from that I back away if anyone else tries to touch me, men in particular.

My ex didn't touch me for years, and I think I have a lot of issues associated with that. My parents only touched me to abuse me.

 

[EloiseLandau]

I interpret myself and my body as being a boundary, and the only people who can cross that line are people I invite into my personal space. Otherwise, keep a distance, please.
When I am triggered I don't want anyone touching me (except maybe the cats).
I have gotten a little better at touch.
But at the same time, offering to simply hold someone's hand is a gesture of supreme trust and affection on my part.

On the other hand, I know people who have no problem swapping kisses, bear hugs, even pinching butts as a form of friendly affection between each other. For them, holding someone's hand is just another nice gesture and it certainly lacks the same meaning I give to it. Which isn't so bad unless they willfully ignore that not everyone likes to be touched.

Maybe it's wrong, but I feel like the people I know who run around and not only are free with touching each other, but feel they have the right to touch you because they do, are not only cheapening the way I express affection, but they are trampling on how I feel about touch.